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rainbowfic2012-08-30 11:52 am
auguris) wrote in rainbowfic2012-08-30 11:52 am
Entry tags:
Lawn Green 15
Name: auguris
'verse: Ghost Sight
Colors: Lawn Green 15. flip-flops
Word Count: 1500
Rating: R
Warnings: A trans character is harassed, and expresses an abundance of self-doubt in reaction to it. Also, plenty of swearing.
Summary: The Assembly's arrangement for Tam and Elina doesn't work out.
Note: This occurs after the bikini story and before Broker shows up.
Tam leaned back in the metal chair, tapping her fingers against the arm. Elina had chosen an outdoor cafe in the part of Krixos that was quietly shared between wizards and alfar. She did her best not to stare at every green, blue and orange person that walked past, or the trio sitting at the table next to theirs. Was this what humans felt like around wizards? Did the urge to look, to really look, struggle with the urge to not be an asshole?
"Oh, this must be him."
Tam snapped her head up. The wizard approaching had beach shaggy blond hair longer than her own; he wore sunglasses, a tank-top underneath an unbuttoned plaid shirt, jean shorts, and flip-flops.
She nearly stood up and walked away, but Elina threw her a Look, and Tam settled back into her seat. This was the only way to get the Assembly off their backs. So he dressed like a human beach bum. So what? Maybe it was camouflage.
"Ladies," he said in a way he must have thought was enticing, going by the grin. Elina smiled back, polite as ever. Tam wanted to see what happened if she set his sunglasses on fire.
"Bradley Neeroot," he said as he sat down. "And you're--"
"Elina Halmaine."
"Tam Pathing."
"Right, huh. I thought it was the other way around, you know? Wasn't your mother a blonde?"
Tam set her jaw as her stomach turned over. "My dead mother?" She ground out.
Elina's hand found her knee and squeezed.
Neeroot had the sense to look ashamed. "Sorry, that was kind of stupid of me to say. Note to self: don't bring up dead mothers thirty seconds into meeting someone."
Tam glared until he looked away.
"So," Elina said, her hand still on Tam's knee. "You do elemental work, right?"
His expression brightened. "Yeah! Gardening, mainly, you know. Helping plants grow and all that."
"Do you assist the Grove?"
He shook his head, laughing. "Nah, I won't be at that level for, you know, decades. Probably. Why, do you work there? Do healing stuff?" He waved his fingers, and Elina actually laughed. Tam tried to keep her face neutral, but honestly.
"I apprentice there, actually. A little late, I know, but I had..." she waved her hand. "Other things to work on."
Tam was content to let Elina lead the conversation. Neeroot ordered his coffee black, putting one single point in his favor. Tam picked the fruit plate, giving herself something to nibble on while the extroverts extroverted at each other.
"You don't like to talk much," Neeroot said.
Good Lady drown me now. "I'm not good with small talk."
"Hey, no problem. I can work with that." If that leer didn't disappear off his face she was going to vomit it off.
He turned to Elina. "Okay, I have a question."
She rested her hand on her chin. "Sure."
"They told me about your whole. You know. Transformation." He put the word into air quotes. Elina shifted her head so she was frowning into her hand. "Everything's. You know. Transformed, right?"
"We're done here." Tam nearly yanked Elina out of her chair, turned her around and pulled her away, one arm curled around Elina's waist.
Neeroot called after them, "It's an entirely legitimate question!"
"Go fuck yourself!" Tam snarled back.
Neither of them spoke on the walk to the car, nor during the trip home aside from Elina's barely audible, "please slow down."
Elina parked herself on the couch as soon as they got home. Tam went into the kitchen, opening cabinets and drawers and slamming them shut again, silverware rattling like bones.
After several rounds of that Elina came and asked, so quiet Tam asked her to repeat herself, "What are you looking for?"
"Some common fucking decency, that's what. First we'll send some to that Neeroot piece of shit, then to the Assembly, then to my idiot brother, then--"
"I'm sorry."
Tam's rant ended in a squeak. "What?"
Was she crying? Oh Lady, she was crying. "This is my fault."
By the time Tam's brain caught up, Elina was turning away. "No. No no no, no it is not. What? No. Elina. Elly." She caught Elina by the elbow and turned her back. "How is this your fault? That guy was an ignorant pile of horse shit. You didn't do anything wrong."
Elina shook Tam away. "Not just him. All of this. The Assembly wouldn't be harassing us -- harassing you -- and setting up this arrangement if I had just..." She shook her head.
"If you had just been miserable?" Heat crept into Tam's voice.
"If I had just been happy with what nature intended!"
Tam smoldered in the silence. If anyone else had said that, any other person in the entire world, she would have slugged them. She didn't know what to do when Elina was saying it about herself.
"I should have just been Henry," Elina murmured. "I should have lived with it."
Tam tugged at her hair. "You said... when you told me about this, you said Henry was the lie. Henry wasn't real. Only Elina was real. That's what you told me."
Elina hunched her shoulders. "I didn't think it would be like this."
Tam made a face. "You didn't think people would be stupid? People are stupid about everything."
Elina scowled and crossed her arms. "I didn't think the Assembly would go out of their way to harass me. And to harass you for being with me."
Tam moved closer. "The Assembly is harassing me because they want me to breed--"
"And if I was still a man you would be able to do that."
Tam shoved her hands into her back pockets to keep from clenching them into fists. "You told me you were never a--"
"I know what I told you!" Elina threw up her hands. "I know what I said! I remember everything I told you about me! I didn't know it would be like this. It wasn't supposed to be like this!"
Tam leaned forward, practically snarling, "This was one ignorant asshole opening his big stupid mouth and spouting off big stupid nonsense. It wasn't even the first stupid thing he said, it was just the worst stupid thing he said."
"You don't get it! How do you think he even knew? Someone told him. Someone warned him. Someone warned him about the man-woman freak that he would have to fuck in order to fuck you!"
Tam ground her teeth. "You are not a freak." She wiped her face, glaring at the ceiling. "But you're right about someone telling him. Someone in the Assembly felt it was fucking necessary to tell him shit that wasn't his business."
Elina shook her head. "Everyone thinks like that."
"Oh come on--"
"The other Healers barely talk to me." Tam fell silent. "My Master won't even touch me. Like she's afraid it's communicable."
"You never told me that."
Elina shrugged. "What was the point? You'd just get mad, and I can't have you setting the Grove on fire."
Tam choked on a laugh. "What about that group of people you used to hang out with? Before you moved here for good?"
"No, Tam, they were all human. Except the Formator who did my transformation, but zie's not really a friend. It's just... it's just you." Elina stared at her feet. "My parents still won't talk to me, either."
And that was a pain Tam couldn't fathom. She would do just about anything to have her mother back; to have her mother but not have her at the same time... even the idea ached.
Mom would have known what to do, would have known exactly what to say to help Elina feel better and would know how to handle the Assembly and would pull strings that got Neeroot sent to the mines or something. She would have fixed it, and they would have laughed and everything would be all right again.
"I'll complain," she said, figuring it out as she said it, "I'll tell them if they can't find someone who's respectful of you then they won't get any Seer babies from me. Ever."
"They won't let you get away with it."
Tam clasped Elina's hands. "They don't have a choice. They can't force me to breed. There are only thirty active Seers under Assembly rule, and I have the potential in my bloodline. They can't afford to piss me off so badly I do what my brother did."
Elina let Tam pull her close. "You can't afford to have them angry with you, either."
"Let me worry about that." Tam rubbed Elina's back. "The Assembly is pissed at my family. This is an extension of that. That's all."
Elina's shoulders shook. "They don't really like either of us right now, do they?"
Tam tried to laugh with her. She didn't have much pull, but her badge gave her at least some authority. She was going to find out who was spouting off Elina's private business, and she was going to deal with them. If the Assembly didn't like it? Too damned bad.
auguris'verse: Ghost Sight
Colors: Lawn Green 15. flip-flops
Word Count: 1500
Rating: R
Warnings: A trans character is harassed, and expresses an abundance of self-doubt in reaction to it. Also, plenty of swearing.
Summary: The Assembly's arrangement for Tam and Elina doesn't work out.
Note: This occurs after the bikini story and before Broker shows up.
Tam leaned back in the metal chair, tapping her fingers against the arm. Elina had chosen an outdoor cafe in the part of Krixos that was quietly shared between wizards and alfar. She did her best not to stare at every green, blue and orange person that walked past, or the trio sitting at the table next to theirs. Was this what humans felt like around wizards? Did the urge to look, to really look, struggle with the urge to not be an asshole?
"Oh, this must be him."
Tam snapped her head up. The wizard approaching had beach shaggy blond hair longer than her own; he wore sunglasses, a tank-top underneath an unbuttoned plaid shirt, jean shorts, and flip-flops.
She nearly stood up and walked away, but Elina threw her a Look, and Tam settled back into her seat. This was the only way to get the Assembly off their backs. So he dressed like a human beach bum. So what? Maybe it was camouflage.
"Ladies," he said in a way he must have thought was enticing, going by the grin. Elina smiled back, polite as ever. Tam wanted to see what happened if she set his sunglasses on fire.
"Bradley Neeroot," he said as he sat down. "And you're--"
"Elina Halmaine."
"Tam Pathing."
"Right, huh. I thought it was the other way around, you know? Wasn't your mother a blonde?"
Tam set her jaw as her stomach turned over. "My dead mother?" She ground out.
Elina's hand found her knee and squeezed.
Neeroot had the sense to look ashamed. "Sorry, that was kind of stupid of me to say. Note to self: don't bring up dead mothers thirty seconds into meeting someone."
Tam glared until he looked away.
"So," Elina said, her hand still on Tam's knee. "You do elemental work, right?"
His expression brightened. "Yeah! Gardening, mainly, you know. Helping plants grow and all that."
"Do you assist the Grove?"
He shook his head, laughing. "Nah, I won't be at that level for, you know, decades. Probably. Why, do you work there? Do healing stuff?" He waved his fingers, and Elina actually laughed. Tam tried to keep her face neutral, but honestly.
"I apprentice there, actually. A little late, I know, but I had..." she waved her hand. "Other things to work on."
Tam was content to let Elina lead the conversation. Neeroot ordered his coffee black, putting one single point in his favor. Tam picked the fruit plate, giving herself something to nibble on while the extroverts extroverted at each other.
"You don't like to talk much," Neeroot said.
Good Lady drown me now. "I'm not good with small talk."
"Hey, no problem. I can work with that." If that leer didn't disappear off his face she was going to vomit it off.
He turned to Elina. "Okay, I have a question."
She rested her hand on her chin. "Sure."
"They told me about your whole. You know. Transformation." He put the word into air quotes. Elina shifted her head so she was frowning into her hand. "Everything's. You know. Transformed, right?"
"We're done here." Tam nearly yanked Elina out of her chair, turned her around and pulled her away, one arm curled around Elina's waist.
Neeroot called after them, "It's an entirely legitimate question!"
"Go fuck yourself!" Tam snarled back.
Neither of them spoke on the walk to the car, nor during the trip home aside from Elina's barely audible, "please slow down."
Elina parked herself on the couch as soon as they got home. Tam went into the kitchen, opening cabinets and drawers and slamming them shut again, silverware rattling like bones.
After several rounds of that Elina came and asked, so quiet Tam asked her to repeat herself, "What are you looking for?"
"Some common fucking decency, that's what. First we'll send some to that Neeroot piece of shit, then to the Assembly, then to my idiot brother, then--"
"I'm sorry."
Tam's rant ended in a squeak. "What?"
Was she crying? Oh Lady, she was crying. "This is my fault."
By the time Tam's brain caught up, Elina was turning away. "No. No no no, no it is not. What? No. Elina. Elly." She caught Elina by the elbow and turned her back. "How is this your fault? That guy was an ignorant pile of horse shit. You didn't do anything wrong."
Elina shook Tam away. "Not just him. All of this. The Assembly wouldn't be harassing us -- harassing you -- and setting up this arrangement if I had just..." She shook her head.
"If you had just been miserable?" Heat crept into Tam's voice.
"If I had just been happy with what nature intended!"
Tam smoldered in the silence. If anyone else had said that, any other person in the entire world, she would have slugged them. She didn't know what to do when Elina was saying it about herself.
"I should have just been Henry," Elina murmured. "I should have lived with it."
Tam tugged at her hair. "You said... when you told me about this, you said Henry was the lie. Henry wasn't real. Only Elina was real. That's what you told me."
Elina hunched her shoulders. "I didn't think it would be like this."
Tam made a face. "You didn't think people would be stupid? People are stupid about everything."
Elina scowled and crossed her arms. "I didn't think the Assembly would go out of their way to harass me. And to harass you for being with me."
Tam moved closer. "The Assembly is harassing me because they want me to breed--"
"And if I was still a man you would be able to do that."
Tam shoved her hands into her back pockets to keep from clenching them into fists. "You told me you were never a--"
"I know what I told you!" Elina threw up her hands. "I know what I said! I remember everything I told you about me! I didn't know it would be like this. It wasn't supposed to be like this!"
Tam leaned forward, practically snarling, "This was one ignorant asshole opening his big stupid mouth and spouting off big stupid nonsense. It wasn't even the first stupid thing he said, it was just the worst stupid thing he said."
"You don't get it! How do you think he even knew? Someone told him. Someone warned him. Someone warned him about the man-woman freak that he would have to fuck in order to fuck you!"
Tam ground her teeth. "You are not a freak." She wiped her face, glaring at the ceiling. "But you're right about someone telling him. Someone in the Assembly felt it was fucking necessary to tell him shit that wasn't his business."
Elina shook her head. "Everyone thinks like that."
"Oh come on--"
"The other Healers barely talk to me." Tam fell silent. "My Master won't even touch me. Like she's afraid it's communicable."
"You never told me that."
Elina shrugged. "What was the point? You'd just get mad, and I can't have you setting the Grove on fire."
Tam choked on a laugh. "What about that group of people you used to hang out with? Before you moved here for good?"
"No, Tam, they were all human. Except the Formator who did my transformation, but zie's not really a friend. It's just... it's just you." Elina stared at her feet. "My parents still won't talk to me, either."
And that was a pain Tam couldn't fathom. She would do just about anything to have her mother back; to have her mother but not have her at the same time... even the idea ached.
Mom would have known what to do, would have known exactly what to say to help Elina feel better and would know how to handle the Assembly and would pull strings that got Neeroot sent to the mines or something. She would have fixed it, and they would have laughed and everything would be all right again.
"I'll complain," she said, figuring it out as she said it, "I'll tell them if they can't find someone who's respectful of you then they won't get any Seer babies from me. Ever."
"They won't let you get away with it."
Tam clasped Elina's hands. "They don't have a choice. They can't force me to breed. There are only thirty active Seers under Assembly rule, and I have the potential in my bloodline. They can't afford to piss me off so badly I do what my brother did."
Elina let Tam pull her close. "You can't afford to have them angry with you, either."
"Let me worry about that." Tam rubbed Elina's back. "The Assembly is pissed at my family. This is an extension of that. That's all."
Elina's shoulders shook. "They don't really like either of us right now, do they?"
Tam tried to laugh with her. She didn't have much pull, but her badge gave her at least some authority. She was going to find out who was spouting off Elina's private business, and she was going to deal with them. If the Assembly didn't like it? Too damned bad.