Well Aimed Chaos (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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rainbowfic2014-08-21 12:19 am
whitemage) wrote in rainbowfic2014-08-21 12:19 am
Entry tags:
surgical steel #17; Fever Red #1; Fire Opal #19
Name: Ardy
Piece/Story:commonplace
Color: Surgical Steel 17 - Fever; Fever Red 1 - Acute; Fire Opal 19 - We each only have to kill 1000 men
Styles/Supplies: collage using Jack’s Cry Little Sister AU
Word Count:1058
Ratings/Warnings: PG -13 - violence related to spirit possession
Summary: Marian does not care for the voice in her head.
Notes: So I am stupid happy to be here in this sandbox. That is all.
Possession is really weird. There’s no other term for it. I’m me, but I’m not me, because someone else is being me, too. Only they’re not me: they’re them.
Upside is, I’m never alone. Downside is, I am never alone.
It’s like having an imaginary best friend that is honestly a terrible friend, the kind I never wanted, didn’t ask for, and wish would go home.
Except they’re already home.
This is not my home. This is a hovel I have been sequestered to, in an eternal exile of pain and suffering.
Perfect example.
“You know, I actually have a reasonable amount of self-esteem for my age and I would be really happy if you didn’t wreck it!”
Ohhhh, does your brother call you ‘pretty’? Does he know what you’re like on the inside? You horrible little brat…
‘He does now! Thanks to you.” My tone spiked, then went flat with my expression.
I was flattened against the wall in the hallway just outside my bedroom. I must have blacked out again. What was I doing? Right. I wanted to sit outside. Some fresh air. I was convinced I just needed some fresh air.
You need to listen to me.
Xiu He quickly realized she couldn’t make me do what she wanted, but she could make me wish I had. She couldn’t kill me, she couldn’t wound me--physically--but she could torture me. Open all the locks on my insecurities, my fears, my nightmares. Wake me up at all hours of the day and night to keep me unrested and vulnerable. I had a constant headache. It felt like we were constantly wrestling.
I felt feverish and ill. She said it was because I wasn’t obedient. I wouldn’t do what she wanted. Grandmother said it was my own magic trying to fight her off. She said I was willful. I thought it was stupid. I was afraid they were wrong. There was no way I was doing this to myself. Xiu He was controlling me. She was going to take over! She was going to lock me away in my own head--she could already look through my eyes, hear with my ears, it was a matter of time! I tensed up thinking about it. She snorted.
I did have a fever, all the time. That’s why they tried to convince Mom I was just sick. “Did they manage it?” I asked to myself, rewinding the tape again. “... Has she even arrived yet? Did they really discuss doing that?” Sometimes it felt like I’d been this way for years, other times, I realized it’d only been days. None of it felt real. “Would that really work, even?”
Who cares! Stop doing that! There’s more important things to attend to!
‘Yes, yes, I know: vengeance and great powers and dumb shiny rocks. I am not even worthy of the tales themselves, let alone your sacred presence.” I rolled my eyes sarcastically and my head swam.
Hmph. The only small victory I could glean from this is she was still trying to understand how snark worked, so she wasn’t always sure if I was serious or not.
Insolent fool! Except when I tipped my hand gloating. More screaming, more fighting between us. More pain.
“You! You..! Dirty old hag!!!” There were better, angrier words I wanted to say, I was at that age they were still ‘forbidden’ and got caught on my tongue.
Xiu He screamed louder, then, a shrill yet hoarse, ear-splitting thing. Or skull splitting thing in this case. I screamed as well, falling as I tried to block her out.
“What happened?” Robbie showed up with his goggles flung around his neck, appearing way too quick to have come from his workshop.
I answered with sobs and labored breath, as Xiu He let fly with an endless stream of curses.
He knelt on the floor, pulling me on his lap. I flopped like a ragdoll. We rocked together.
“Where’s Grandmother?” My voice always sounded tiny and weak to me now, like I was 5. But he didn’t tease me about it.
“She’s out. We’re… working on things.” He had this thinking voice. It used to excite me, because it meant a new adventure.
“Why can’t we just put that witch back in the box?” Xiu He’s continued tantrum turned itself back up from the background noise it had fallen to, but I was still able to hold my train of thought.
Robin was quiet a long time. “Hey!” I said impatiently.
“If we do, bad stuff still happens.”
My head suddenly went very still.
“Like what bad stuff?” I really didn’t want to know, but I had to ask.
He leaned his head against the wall, shifting our weight to stretch his legs out. “You end up in the box with her. Basically. Forever.”
I grabbed his arm so hard I dug with my nails. He flinched and I backed off. “I don’t want to go away, Robbie.”
“No one is putting my lil’sister in a box, Mari. Got it?” He sounded stern. I nodded vigorously, though still crying.
Xiu He, meanwhile, rippled in thought across my brainspace. That seemed to be a sign of interest. Well, hey, so glad our pain spared her some boredom.
I took a deep breath, relaxing somewhat. Now I was swinging back towards anger at her. We really were stuck together until further notice.
I raised up and he helped me. I took a step towards my room, then turned.
“Tell me what you saw, again. Tell me what that woman looks like.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because…” I made my words deliberately slow and firm, gritting my teeth. “Because when I fall asleep next, I want to be able to see her clearly. So I can punch her. In. The. Nose.”
Her searing rage went through me again, though really weak compared to the last episode. Apparently she could wear out. She really did have limits. She wasn’t all-powerful. Just overwhelming. I felt hopeful.
I raised up a little taller and smiled at him. He smiled back. “Give her one for me, okay?”
Tears were streaming again to the point he was blurry, but I grinned that much wider. “I promise!”
Piece/Story:
commonplace Color: Surgical Steel 17 - Fever; Fever Red 1 - Acute; Fire Opal 19 - We each only have to kill 1000 men
Styles/Supplies: collage using Jack’s Cry Little Sister AU
Word Count:1058
Ratings/Warnings: PG -13 - violence related to spirit possession
Summary: Marian does not care for the voice in her head.
Notes: So I am stupid happy to be here in this sandbox. That is all.
Possession is really weird. There’s no other term for it. I’m me, but I’m not me, because someone else is being me, too. Only they’re not me: they’re them.
Upside is, I’m never alone. Downside is, I am never alone.
It’s like having an imaginary best friend that is honestly a terrible friend, the kind I never wanted, didn’t ask for, and wish would go home.
Except they’re already home.
This is not my home. This is a hovel I have been sequestered to, in an eternal exile of pain and suffering.
Perfect example.
“You know, I actually have a reasonable amount of self-esteem for my age and I would be really happy if you didn’t wreck it!”
Ohhhh, does your brother call you ‘pretty’? Does he know what you’re like on the inside? You horrible little brat…
‘He does now! Thanks to you.” My tone spiked, then went flat with my expression.
I was flattened against the wall in the hallway just outside my bedroom. I must have blacked out again. What was I doing? Right. I wanted to sit outside. Some fresh air. I was convinced I just needed some fresh air.
You need to listen to me.
Xiu He quickly realized she couldn’t make me do what she wanted, but she could make me wish I had. She couldn’t kill me, she couldn’t wound me--physically--but she could torture me. Open all the locks on my insecurities, my fears, my nightmares. Wake me up at all hours of the day and night to keep me unrested and vulnerable. I had a constant headache. It felt like we were constantly wrestling.
I felt feverish and ill. She said it was because I wasn’t obedient. I wouldn’t do what she wanted. Grandmother said it was my own magic trying to fight her off. She said I was willful. I thought it was stupid. I was afraid they were wrong. There was no way I was doing this to myself. Xiu He was controlling me. She was going to take over! She was going to lock me away in my own head--she could already look through my eyes, hear with my ears, it was a matter of time! I tensed up thinking about it. She snorted.
I did have a fever, all the time. That’s why they tried to convince Mom I was just sick. “Did they manage it?” I asked to myself, rewinding the tape again. “... Has she even arrived yet? Did they really discuss doing that?” Sometimes it felt like I’d been this way for years, other times, I realized it’d only been days. None of it felt real. “Would that really work, even?”
Who cares! Stop doing that! There’s more important things to attend to!
‘Yes, yes, I know: vengeance and great powers and dumb shiny rocks. I am not even worthy of the tales themselves, let alone your sacred presence.” I rolled my eyes sarcastically and my head swam.
Hmph. The only small victory I could glean from this is she was still trying to understand how snark worked, so she wasn’t always sure if I was serious or not.
Insolent fool! Except when I tipped my hand gloating. More screaming, more fighting between us. More pain.
“You! You..! Dirty old hag!!!” There were better, angrier words I wanted to say, I was at that age they were still ‘forbidden’ and got caught on my tongue.
Xiu He screamed louder, then, a shrill yet hoarse, ear-splitting thing. Or skull splitting thing in this case. I screamed as well, falling as I tried to block her out.
“What happened?” Robbie showed up with his goggles flung around his neck, appearing way too quick to have come from his workshop.
I answered with sobs and labored breath, as Xiu He let fly with an endless stream of curses.
He knelt on the floor, pulling me on his lap. I flopped like a ragdoll. We rocked together.
“Where’s Grandmother?” My voice always sounded tiny and weak to me now, like I was 5. But he didn’t tease me about it.
“She’s out. We’re… working on things.” He had this thinking voice. It used to excite me, because it meant a new adventure.
“Why can’t we just put that witch back in the box?” Xiu He’s continued tantrum turned itself back up from the background noise it had fallen to, but I was still able to hold my train of thought.
Robin was quiet a long time. “Hey!” I said impatiently.
“If we do, bad stuff still happens.”
My head suddenly went very still.
“Like what bad stuff?” I really didn’t want to know, but I had to ask.
He leaned his head against the wall, shifting our weight to stretch his legs out. “You end up in the box with her. Basically. Forever.”
I grabbed his arm so hard I dug with my nails. He flinched and I backed off. “I don’t want to go away, Robbie.”
“No one is putting my lil’sister in a box, Mari. Got it?” He sounded stern. I nodded vigorously, though still crying.
Xiu He, meanwhile, rippled in thought across my brainspace. That seemed to be a sign of interest. Well, hey, so glad our pain spared her some boredom.
I took a deep breath, relaxing somewhat. Now I was swinging back towards anger at her. We really were stuck together until further notice.
I raised up and he helped me. I took a step towards my room, then turned.
“Tell me what you saw, again. Tell me what that woman looks like.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because…” I made my words deliberately slow and firm, gritting my teeth. “Because when I fall asleep next, I want to be able to see her clearly. So I can punch her. In. The. Nose.”
Her searing rage went through me again, though really weak compared to the last episode. Apparently she could wear out. She really did have limits. She wasn’t all-powerful. Just overwhelming. I felt hopeful.
I raised up a little taller and smiled at him. He smiled back. “Give her one for me, okay?”
Tears were streaming again to the point he was blurry, but I grinned that much wider. “I promise!”
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Xiu He had it coming, so she can sit down and feel bad.
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Marian is painful, but she's also really cathartic for me in a weird way. So I'm really honored Jack is letting me take her for a spin.
And I really appreciate you reading these!
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Jack and I have accidentally written a fair amount for this AU and it's not quite funny but definitely interesting what develops between Marian and Xiu He. Kind of a the-enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-
friend</strike strategic ally.no subject
And so is the arguing.
YOU MADE ARGUING GLORIOUS.
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Robin is pretty much the perfect big brother. Jack can deny it all he wants. I am sticking to my guns on this.