Summertime Blues 20, Dove Grey 20, Dirt Brown 19

[auguris]

Name: auguris
'verse: Ghost Sight
Story: Where are you?
Colors: Summertime Blues 20. Summer moved on, Dove Grey 20. How am I supposed to live without you?, Dirt Brown 19. Rooted
Supplies and Styles: Pastels: silence, Glitter: "I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone." – Dan Howell
Word Count: 410
Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Summary: I can't find you anywhere. (heavily inspired by this song)

I can't find you anywhere. I know you're here, still, despite everything. I see you, out of the corner of my eye. When it's just dark enough, or light enough, and the shadows shift around the sunbeams. You'll never leave.

But I can't find you.

I talk to you but you don't talk back. I don't know if you can't hear me or if you just don't have anything to say. You look at me, or at least I think you do, but you don't see me. I try to touch you but you move away. You can't stand to be near me.

You're gone most of the time. This house is too big without you. The windows are starting to stick and there's a nasty draft. I'm always cold. Sometimes I ask you to warm me up, but half the time you're not there and the other half you don't hear me. I feel so lost. What happened to us? Where are you?

A stray dog has found his way into the house. He whines when I try to touch him; I think someone hurt him. It's nice to have someone around, someone who hears me, even if he doesn't like me. I should call animal control but I can't find my phone. I always leave it in the same spot but it's gone. I can't go to the neighbor's house, what was her name? I can't because you might come back and I need to be here. I can't leave until I find you.

I can't find you anywhere.

Someone is in the house but it's not you. He's huge, I can feel his voice from the next room over. He's not a person, he can't be, he's a roiling mass of black fog, he's a monster, he

knows my name

you told him my name

he's WRONG

I didn't FALL

I'm FINE I just CAN'T FIND YOU

I didn't fall

I didn't

fall

I

fell.

I FELL and you WEREN'T THERE I was there for SO LONG and everything came out and I

I didn't

I

fell.

I fell.

I fell I fell I fell I fell I fell I fell I fell I fell I fell

you weren't there

you told him my name and now it's dark.

I have to go.

I didn't find you but I have to go.

It's dark here, darker than anything, and you're not here.

I can't find you anywhere.

Comments

[kay_brooke]

Wow, this really invokes that feeling of painful loneliness. It's just heartbreaking.

[auguris]

That's the impact I was going for, I'm glad it came through.

Thank you!

[bookblather]

Oh, wow, I actually sucked in my breath reading this. It's like a punch to the gut. Well done.

[auguris]

Thank you!

[shipwreck_light]

BB was not the only one pinching on her breath for this. The formatting, the refrain, the well of quiet change in the house that's gotten away from the narrator.

THIS IS TOTALLY SWEET.

Thank you for posting.

[auguris]

Thank YOU for commenting! :)