Summertime Blues 2, Quill Grey 18: Running

[bookblather]

Author: Kat
Title: Running
Story: Shine Like It Does
Colors: Summertime blues 2 (The band's breaking up.), quill grey 18 (Writing comes more easily if you have something to say. - Sholem Asch) with kana's paint-by-numbers (Memories are always beautiful, but with only that you cannot live)
Supplies and Materials: Fingerpainting (one more first person to go), beading wire (dark city skyline), glitter (betray), feathers (small hand in large).
Word Count: 305
Rating: PG
Summary: After Alicia died.
Warnings: racism, overt and subtle, violent death implied
Notes: On the Lint Roller, thelinesoflearning asked Daniel, "What are you most ashamed of?"


After Alicia died, I sued the city. And if I was a white man, if Alicia was a white woman, I'd have won. There would have been rioting in the streets, criminal charges for the cops involved. Alicia would have had justice. My son might even know his mother.

But I'm not, and she wasn't. Self-defense, the cops said, they thought she had a gun. I lost.

We moved to Georgia after that. Strange relocation after what happened, I know, but Alicia had people there—her mother, some cousins, people who could help me raise Benjy. People who could tell him about his mother, about how wonderful she was, how much she loved him.

They say, Alicia's people, they say it's nothing to be ashamed of, that I did the best I could. That I found him a place where at least he had family, people who would love him, a place where he wouldn't have to relive his mother's death every time he walked down the street. That people around here don't mind so much, that racism is more overt but rarer.

I did do the best I could for my son. I tried my best, and I lost the fight, so I took him somewhere else, where we could start over, move on. But I can't help feeling that it was wrong, what I did. Not enough.

A real man would have stayed and fought, would have demanded justice for the woman he'd sworn to love and honor, 'til death and after. Running like I did—it was for Benjy, he needed his father, Alicia was dead but he was still alive and he needed his father—it was shameful.

They tell me I don't need to be ashamed. They tell me I did the right thing.

I wish I could believe them.

Comments

[subluxate]

Oh god, Daniel, I can just. The pain in this is palpable. You did a great job, but god it's painful.

[bookblather]

Thank you, so much. That was what I was going for.

[greenling]

I think I can really hear the character in this. Short and effective.

[bookblather]

Thank you very much.

[sharpeningthebones]

Ouch, ouch ouch. Oh, goodness, this makes me flail so hard.

[bookblather]

Oh, I'm sorry. Or pleased. A little of both.

Thank you.

[shipwreck_light]

YOU DID WHAT YOU HAD TO TO KEEP YOUR SON FILLED WITH LOVE.

WE THE AUDEINCE LOVE YOU FOR IT.

YOU SHOULD BE PROUD. YOU TRIED.

And your author brought that out oh so eloquently.

Thank you.

[bookblather]

Awww, thank you. <3

[kay_brooke]

Poor Daniel. I totally get why he feels ashamed, but he really did do the right thing, I think. As a parent, his first responsibility was to make sure his son had a safe and loving place to live, and that's what he did.

[bookblather]

Yep. And he will always put his son first, even if it means it doesn't work well for him. Thank you.

[dark_kana]

Oh.. Oh poor Daniel. The pain in this is so so real and :-(
It's so sad and painful and so very well written and... :-( It made me cry.

[bookblather]

Thank you. And I'm sorry I made you cry, but a little pleased at the same time.