The Autumn Child (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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rainbowfic2013-08-18 01:26 am
sharpeningthebones) wrote in rainbowfic2013-08-18 01:26 am
Halloween Orange
Name: Mallory
Story: No Child Is Spared
Colors: Halloween Orange: Though I'm somewhere off the beaten track, there's no guarantee that I won't come bak.
Supplies: None
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Verbally abusive parents and the negative self talk that comes from that.
Word count; 718
Notes: More Thaddeus and Sullivan. I really like writing for Thaddeus, I just...forget that I do? I don't even know. They are another pair that have a fairly screwy background and I kind of want to poke it with a stick, therefore, I do! :D
Summary: Thaddeus wants his brother to come home again and yet he knows he's better off staying away.
He watched the window like a dog waiting for it's owner. He watched it like a desperate man. He watched it like a creature that needed whatever was going to be on the other side to come and save him.
And maybe he did, maybe he needed saving. Maybe he needed his brother, his manic, crazy, dizzying brother, to come and save him from the looks their parents gave him.
Because he knew he wasn't good enough for them, he knew he was the weaker son, the stupider son. He knew that he wasn't ever going to be what they wanted and he couldn't change that, he couldn't be better, no matter what he did. It was simply his way to be an idiot, to be clumsy and stupid and not what they wanted.
He could hide in their library because it was easier on everyone if he just wasn't seen. He knew that if he could just hide, just keep to himself, just...just pretend he wasn't there, then things would be better.
He wished, he hoped, he prayed that was the case anyway.
It never was though, they would always find him. He would be reminded that he's wasting his life on stories, that he can't keep leeching off of them for the rest of his life but that he isn't good enough for anyone to hire anyway.
He thinks about university, thinks about maybe trying to go and attend and see if he can't make a go of things but he hears his parents, knows that they'll laugh, they'll tell him it's not worth it and remind him yet again that he's too stupid for that kind of an expense.
But his brother won't do it, his brother would encourage him. His brother, his beautiful, wonderful brother, would make sure that, if he did want to go, he had a fighting chance.
Because that's what Sullivan did. He made sure Thaddeus had a fighting chance at whatever he tried, even if it wasn't much more than that. Even if he would probably fail anyway because that's just the kind of person he is, a failure, a waste, someone who doesn't deserve the attention he would be demanding for schooling.
He felt himself starting to grow ill again, tears pricking at his eyes. His hands shook and he wanted to run, to hide, to do something to bring Sullivan back again but he can't think of what would do it, what would lure his brother long enough to stay with them.
Not that he should stay. Their parents loved them both, yes, but they didn't love the right way, they didn't love the way Sullivan wanted to be loved and he understood that. their way of loving wasn't for everyone and Sullivan had been with other people before he was adopted by their family.
But it didn't stop him from wanting to make his brother stay. It didn't stop him from wanting to wrap his arms around the other and cling fiercely and beg him to stay for just a little loner than a day or two. Just....stay and then they can pretend that things are all right.
He fell asleep waiting, praying, hoping, pleading, for him to come back. He fell asleep with dreams of them running off together, not fro his parents exactly but to somewhere different. Somewhere that Sullivan would be happy and he could nest in his books and stories and whatever else he wanted to hide in with no issue.
It was a gift in and of itself, the sleep. It wasn't as good as his brother coming home and staying but the blessed unconsciousness was nice enough. It gave him a break from life and it was a peace he couldn't achieve anywhere else.
And maybe that's not the way he should be thinking about sleep. Maybe he should be trying to stay awake and get things done but sometimes, when his brother's been away for a few consecutive nights and he's left alone with his parents, sleep is all he wants. it's all he dreams of and all he prays for.
And hwe he wakes up, his brother ill be home again and they'll be the kind of family he wants, the kind of people hwo deserve him.
Story: No Child Is Spared
Colors: Halloween Orange: Though I'm somewhere off the beaten track, there's no guarantee that I won't come bak.
Supplies: None
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Verbally abusive parents and the negative self talk that comes from that.
Word count; 718
Notes: More Thaddeus and Sullivan. I really like writing for Thaddeus, I just...forget that I do? I don't even know. They are another pair that have a fairly screwy background and I kind of want to poke it with a stick, therefore, I do! :D
Summary: Thaddeus wants his brother to come home again and yet he knows he's better off staying away.
He watched the window like a dog waiting for it's owner. He watched it like a desperate man. He watched it like a creature that needed whatever was going to be on the other side to come and save him.
And maybe he did, maybe he needed saving. Maybe he needed his brother, his manic, crazy, dizzying brother, to come and save him from the looks their parents gave him.
Because he knew he wasn't good enough for them, he knew he was the weaker son, the stupider son. He knew that he wasn't ever going to be what they wanted and he couldn't change that, he couldn't be better, no matter what he did. It was simply his way to be an idiot, to be clumsy and stupid and not what they wanted.
He could hide in their library because it was easier on everyone if he just wasn't seen. He knew that if he could just hide, just keep to himself, just...just pretend he wasn't there, then things would be better.
He wished, he hoped, he prayed that was the case anyway.
It never was though, they would always find him. He would be reminded that he's wasting his life on stories, that he can't keep leeching off of them for the rest of his life but that he isn't good enough for anyone to hire anyway.
He thinks about university, thinks about maybe trying to go and attend and see if he can't make a go of things but he hears his parents, knows that they'll laugh, they'll tell him it's not worth it and remind him yet again that he's too stupid for that kind of an expense.
But his brother won't do it, his brother would encourage him. His brother, his beautiful, wonderful brother, would make sure that, if he did want to go, he had a fighting chance.
Because that's what Sullivan did. He made sure Thaddeus had a fighting chance at whatever he tried, even if it wasn't much more than that. Even if he would probably fail anyway because that's just the kind of person he is, a failure, a waste, someone who doesn't deserve the attention he would be demanding for schooling.
He felt himself starting to grow ill again, tears pricking at his eyes. His hands shook and he wanted to run, to hide, to do something to bring Sullivan back again but he can't think of what would do it, what would lure his brother long enough to stay with them.
Not that he should stay. Their parents loved them both, yes, but they didn't love the right way, they didn't love the way Sullivan wanted to be loved and he understood that. their way of loving wasn't for everyone and Sullivan had been with other people before he was adopted by their family.
But it didn't stop him from wanting to make his brother stay. It didn't stop him from wanting to wrap his arms around the other and cling fiercely and beg him to stay for just a little loner than a day or two. Just....stay and then they can pretend that things are all right.
He fell asleep waiting, praying, hoping, pleading, for him to come back. He fell asleep with dreams of them running off together, not fro his parents exactly but to somewhere different. Somewhere that Sullivan would be happy and he could nest in his books and stories and whatever else he wanted to hide in with no issue.
It was a gift in and of itself, the sleep. It wasn't as good as his brother coming home and staying but the blessed unconsciousness was nice enough. It gave him a break from life and it was a peace he couldn't achieve anywhere else.
And maybe that's not the way he should be thinking about sleep. Maybe he should be trying to stay awake and get things done but sometimes, when his brother's been away for a few consecutive nights and he's left alone with his parents, sleep is all he wants. it's all he dreams of and all he prays for.
And hwe he wakes up, his brother ill be home again and they'll be the kind of family he wants, the kind of people hwo deserve him.
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