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rainbowfic2013-08-14 12:12 pm
kay_brooke) wrote in rainbowfic2013-08-14 12:12 pm
Blue #15, Summertime Blues #19, Yellow Submarine #19
Name: kay_brooke
Story: The Myrrosta
Colors: Blue #15 (deep blue sea), Summertime Blues #19 (and came there never again as a living person), Yellow Submarine #19 (doing the garden, digging the weeds, who could ask for more?)
Styles/Supplies: Graffiti
Word Count: 1,327
Rating/Warnings: PG-13; no standard warnings apply
Summary: Atro's confessions.
Notes: Lint Roll answer forthelinesoflearning, who asked: Atro, if you knew you'd die tomorrow, what would you do today?.
"I've always wanted to see the ocean," said Atro. He gripped Merrus's hand. "Can you believe it? All the places I've been, and I've never even seen the coast."
Merrus allowed himself a slight smile, despite the circumstances. "That's not much of an ambition."
Atro snorted. "I'm the emperor of Ceenta Vowei. I turned away the Cottocks at the border. I brought peace to the salkiy lands." He swallowed thickly. "I became your friend. There are no grand ambitions left, only simple ones. I thought you would appreciate that."
"I've never seen the ocean, either," said Merrus, to steer the conversation away from talk of Atro's political "successes." It was one of those that had landed him in this very situation.
"I imagine it as a vast, blue expanse," said Atro. "You remember the mountain lakes we saw in the Savage Lands, Merrus? A perfect blue, reflecting the sky and the mountain peaks more clearly than any mortal-made looking glass. I think the ocean is like that, only much larger. Stretching from corner to corner of the earth, and onward with no end. Do you think there's an end? They say the world is round, so everything comes back to meet itself. I guess that means it doesn't end, in a way."
"I don't think the ocean is calm like a lake," said Merrus. He used a damp cloth to wipe away the beads of sweat breaking out on Atro's forehead. The willow bark tea he had been given was wearing off, the fever coming back. "There are waves. Fearsome ones sometimes, I'm told."
Atro shook his head, and even that small movement was enough to make him groan in pain. After taking a few breaths, he said, "On the shore, yes, where the water meets its resistance against the shore. But in the middle? Is it so unsettled there?"
"I don't know," said Merrus.
"I think I will find someone who knows," said Atro. "I'll ask the captain of one of those ships that sail to Maston." He fell silent, his breathing so shallow that for a moment Merrus feared the worst. Then he spoke again. "Do you remember that merchant, Edward?"
"I never met him, though you've mentioned him before." There had been several instances this night where Atro had gotten mixed up in his memories, insisting that Merrus had been places and seen things with him that he had not.
"I could have sworn you did," said Atro, brow crinkling in puzzlement. "Was he not with us when we stayed with you in Lenthyn?" Then he frowned. "No, why would I have brought him along?"
"I never met him," Merrus repeated.
"I suppose," said Atro, as if it was merely a difference of opinion instead of fact. There was another long silence, but just when Merrus was going to ask him if he had a point for mentioning the merchant, he spoke again. "I sent him away to Maston. Deliberately. Not against his will, of course, but I knew exactly where his weakness was." Atro gave a bitter laugh. "A man like him, he could never resist the urge to travel. I offered him what he wanted, and he took it. You know why I did that, don't you, Merrus?"
"Because he asked?" Merrus was confused what the story even was. He had missed so much of Atro's life, off seeing to his own concerns--as it should be, but sometimes Atro talked as if Merrus had been by his side all along.
"Don't be ridiculous," said Atro. "The trip was secret, and he wouldn't have presumed even if he had known about it. Despite all else, he was a man who knew his place."
"Then why did you send him to Maston?"
"My wife was in love with him." Atro took a deep, shuddering breath, and Merrus remembered that Hopina was at the country estate she had inherited from her father. He understood messages had been sent, telling her of her husband's predicament and urging her presence, but she had yet to appear. "I didn't imagine either would be unfaithful to me, at least not in the flesh, but I was jealous. Me, jealous of a common merchant, a man who wouldn't have done anything but look at my wife even if other opportunities presented themselves. I was jealous because Hopina looked at him, and I knew who she really wanted."
Merrus had never quite understood these humans' concept of fidelity. "Was that so bad, merely looking?"
"It wasn't just that." Atro indicated he wanted a drink of water. Merrus held the cup up to his lips and waited until the man was done. "I've never told anyone this, Merrus, but...I was also in love. Not with Hopina."
"Yours wasn't a love match." Another baffling facet of Atro's society, the pairing of humans who had little regard for each other.
"No, but I was her friend. How many times was I unfaithful to her in my dreams? Countless. She didn't deserve it."
"Can you control your dreams?" Merrus knew the answer was no. It was a rare person who could control their dreams, and Atro, who had a touch of future-seeing ability that sometimes gave him visions in his sleep, could control them even less than most.
"If I hadn't loved fruitlessly, I wouldn't have dreamed," Atro retorted.
"It doesn't matter now," said Merrus, sponging Atro's forehead again.
"No," said Atro. "I suppose it doesn't." He sniffed. "He's seen the ocean. Edward. When I sent him over it."
"Don't dwell on the past," said Merrus. This night looked to be growing into a list of Atro's confessions, and it sent a bolt of fear through him. Death bed confessions were hardly unusual, but despite everything he had seen and been told, Merrus hoped this wasn't Atro's death bed.
Even though he knew he was deluding himself.
"When I'm better," said Atro--and Merrus didn't know if he was also deluding himself or simply trying to make Merrus feel better--"we'll go see the ocean, you and me. We might even cross it, take one of the ships to Maston. Then we'll settle once and for all the question of waves in the deep sea."
"We will?" said Merrus. "I'm not sure the High Councilors would like that."
Atro weakly waved one hand, an imperious gesture that just looked pathetic now. "Let them try and stop me. If nothing else, we'll go in disguise, like when we went to Okkand. Do you remember that?"
"When we were fleeing for our lives?" But Merrus smiled; there was something about those days, dark as they had been at the time, that invited nostalgia now that he had survived them.
Atro chuckled along with him, until pain stole his breath away. "It's all I want to do," he said, serious again. "See the ocean. That's what's left for me. I should have...I should have done it sooner."
Merrus was suddenly taken with a mad notion: seize Atro in his arms, take him to his carriage, and ride with him to the coast. They'd go west to Kandel, which was closer. He would take Atro out on the beach. He would barter their way on to a ship bound for Maston. And if Atro died, he would die surrounded by the thing he wanted to see.
And just as suddenly, the urge was gone. The Kandelian coast, though the closest one to them, was nearly a month's carriage ride away. It was autumn now, and the ships were already docked for the winter. They would not be going anywhere until the following spring. That was even assuming the palace guards didn't catch Merrus and throw him in the prison for abducting the emperor.
Atro didn't have that kind of time. Merrus knew it, no matter how loudly that damned sliver of hope inside of him screamed.
kay_brookeStory: The Myrrosta
Colors: Blue #15 (deep blue sea), Summertime Blues #19 (and came there never again as a living person), Yellow Submarine #19 (doing the garden, digging the weeds, who could ask for more?)
Styles/Supplies: Graffiti
Word Count: 1,327
Rating/Warnings: PG-13; no standard warnings apply
Summary: Atro's confessions.
Notes: Lint Roll answer for
thelinesoflearning, who asked: Atro, if you knew you'd die tomorrow, what would you do today?. "I've always wanted to see the ocean," said Atro. He gripped Merrus's hand. "Can you believe it? All the places I've been, and I've never even seen the coast."
Merrus allowed himself a slight smile, despite the circumstances. "That's not much of an ambition."
Atro snorted. "I'm the emperor of Ceenta Vowei. I turned away the Cottocks at the border. I brought peace to the salkiy lands." He swallowed thickly. "I became your friend. There are no grand ambitions left, only simple ones. I thought you would appreciate that."
"I've never seen the ocean, either," said Merrus, to steer the conversation away from talk of Atro's political "successes." It was one of those that had landed him in this very situation.
"I imagine it as a vast, blue expanse," said Atro. "You remember the mountain lakes we saw in the Savage Lands, Merrus? A perfect blue, reflecting the sky and the mountain peaks more clearly than any mortal-made looking glass. I think the ocean is like that, only much larger. Stretching from corner to corner of the earth, and onward with no end. Do you think there's an end? They say the world is round, so everything comes back to meet itself. I guess that means it doesn't end, in a way."
"I don't think the ocean is calm like a lake," said Merrus. He used a damp cloth to wipe away the beads of sweat breaking out on Atro's forehead. The willow bark tea he had been given was wearing off, the fever coming back. "There are waves. Fearsome ones sometimes, I'm told."
Atro shook his head, and even that small movement was enough to make him groan in pain. After taking a few breaths, he said, "On the shore, yes, where the water meets its resistance against the shore. But in the middle? Is it so unsettled there?"
"I don't know," said Merrus.
"I think I will find someone who knows," said Atro. "I'll ask the captain of one of those ships that sail to Maston." He fell silent, his breathing so shallow that for a moment Merrus feared the worst. Then he spoke again. "Do you remember that merchant, Edward?"
"I never met him, though you've mentioned him before." There had been several instances this night where Atro had gotten mixed up in his memories, insisting that Merrus had been places and seen things with him that he had not.
"I could have sworn you did," said Atro, brow crinkling in puzzlement. "Was he not with us when we stayed with you in Lenthyn?" Then he frowned. "No, why would I have brought him along?"
"I never met him," Merrus repeated.
"I suppose," said Atro, as if it was merely a difference of opinion instead of fact. There was another long silence, but just when Merrus was going to ask him if he had a point for mentioning the merchant, he spoke again. "I sent him away to Maston. Deliberately. Not against his will, of course, but I knew exactly where his weakness was." Atro gave a bitter laugh. "A man like him, he could never resist the urge to travel. I offered him what he wanted, and he took it. You know why I did that, don't you, Merrus?"
"Because he asked?" Merrus was confused what the story even was. He had missed so much of Atro's life, off seeing to his own concerns--as it should be, but sometimes Atro talked as if Merrus had been by his side all along.
"Don't be ridiculous," said Atro. "The trip was secret, and he wouldn't have presumed even if he had known about it. Despite all else, he was a man who knew his place."
"Then why did you send him to Maston?"
"My wife was in love with him." Atro took a deep, shuddering breath, and Merrus remembered that Hopina was at the country estate she had inherited from her father. He understood messages had been sent, telling her of her husband's predicament and urging her presence, but she had yet to appear. "I didn't imagine either would be unfaithful to me, at least not in the flesh, but I was jealous. Me, jealous of a common merchant, a man who wouldn't have done anything but look at my wife even if other opportunities presented themselves. I was jealous because Hopina looked at him, and I knew who she really wanted."
Merrus had never quite understood these humans' concept of fidelity. "Was that so bad, merely looking?"
"It wasn't just that." Atro indicated he wanted a drink of water. Merrus held the cup up to his lips and waited until the man was done. "I've never told anyone this, Merrus, but...I was also in love. Not with Hopina."
"Yours wasn't a love match." Another baffling facet of Atro's society, the pairing of humans who had little regard for each other.
"No, but I was her friend. How many times was I unfaithful to her in my dreams? Countless. She didn't deserve it."
"Can you control your dreams?" Merrus knew the answer was no. It was a rare person who could control their dreams, and Atro, who had a touch of future-seeing ability that sometimes gave him visions in his sleep, could control them even less than most.
"If I hadn't loved fruitlessly, I wouldn't have dreamed," Atro retorted.
"It doesn't matter now," said Merrus, sponging Atro's forehead again.
"No," said Atro. "I suppose it doesn't." He sniffed. "He's seen the ocean. Edward. When I sent him over it."
"Don't dwell on the past," said Merrus. This night looked to be growing into a list of Atro's confessions, and it sent a bolt of fear through him. Death bed confessions were hardly unusual, but despite everything he had seen and been told, Merrus hoped this wasn't Atro's death bed.
Even though he knew he was deluding himself.
"When I'm better," said Atro--and Merrus didn't know if he was also deluding himself or simply trying to make Merrus feel better--"we'll go see the ocean, you and me. We might even cross it, take one of the ships to Maston. Then we'll settle once and for all the question of waves in the deep sea."
"We will?" said Merrus. "I'm not sure the High Councilors would like that."
Atro weakly waved one hand, an imperious gesture that just looked pathetic now. "Let them try and stop me. If nothing else, we'll go in disguise, like when we went to Okkand. Do you remember that?"
"When we were fleeing for our lives?" But Merrus smiled; there was something about those days, dark as they had been at the time, that invited nostalgia now that he had survived them.
Atro chuckled along with him, until pain stole his breath away. "It's all I want to do," he said, serious again. "See the ocean. That's what's left for me. I should have...I should have done it sooner."
Merrus was suddenly taken with a mad notion: seize Atro in his arms, take him to his carriage, and ride with him to the coast. They'd go west to Kandel, which was closer. He would take Atro out on the beach. He would barter their way on to a ship bound for Maston. And if Atro died, he would die surrounded by the thing he wanted to see.
And just as suddenly, the urge was gone. The Kandelian coast, though the closest one to them, was nearly a month's carriage ride away. It was autumn now, and the ships were already docked for the winter. They would not be going anywhere until the following spring. That was even assuming the palace guards didn't catch Merrus and throw him in the prison for abducting the emperor.
Atro didn't have that kind of time. Merrus knew it, no matter how loudly that damned sliver of hope inside of him screamed.
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Thanks for reading!
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Thanks for reading!