Tom (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
serpentine) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rainbowfic2013-08-12 09:33 am
serpentine) wrote in rainbowfic2013-08-12 09:33 am
Summertime Blues (special) #8, White Russian #15: A Parent's Fears
Name: Tom (serpentine)
Title: A Parent's Fears
Universe:starikov_chronicles
Colors: Summertime Blues (Special Color) #8 - I thought I could trust you; White Russian #15 - Чему́ быть, того́ не минова́ть. (Whatever will be, will be.)
Supplies and Styles: graffiti (Midsummer Night's Dream prompt), modeling clay (mom)
Word Count: 485
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Dysfunctional family.
Summary: Irina vents about Alexei.
Notes: Piece number twenty-nine for Midsummer Nights Dream. Written for my lint roller.bookblather asked Irina, "do you ever have times when you just. can't. deal? Doesn't matter with what." Last Summertime Blues.
As much as I love my husband, there are times where I am just tired of how he treats me.
See, when our son was born, Alexei got scared.
We had two years together before that and I thought that he had opened up a great deal from when I first met him, but soon after Kostya was born, my husband became distant. He spent very little time with us for the first six years of our baby boy’s life. Even though I had excused him as perhaps just being busy with the running of Vaelan, I still thought he could at least bear to be around us more often.
To be honest, I do not think it was me he was really avoiding, but Kostya.
Frankly, I can’t understand why one would be afraid of their own child, especially one who was still so young as to have not done anything, but Alexei was scared regardless. I got tired of it and told him that he should spend time with his son.
He had shook his head, saying that he was no good as a father as he backed away from me and my weaving. As we had talked a lot about parenting before Kostya was born, I knew that this was bullshit. However, nothing I could say would convince him otherwise.
I shouted at him, telling him that I could not raise a child on my own without any help.
(Kostya was two at the time and getting into all sorts of trouble. He had just been screaming earlier that day, so my nerves were already a bit frayed.)
We had a great row, full of shouting and tears and I saw my husband for the coward that he was. For he was afraid that Kostya would kill him someday, like so many other heirs had done in his family. Like he had tried to do to his own father.
I…didn’t know that he had did that. Clearly, he was not successful as his father had been felled by an assassin’s arrow (or did Alexei hire said assassin?), but I wish he had told me before. Not because that would’ve kept me from marrying him having a child, for his father was a truly horrible person, but so that I would’ve known what he was bringing to the table.
This should have been talked about before we had a child.
I said as much to my husband and just stopped, stared at me and left.
I think he was ashamed.
Several hours later, after I had put Kostya to bed, he came by and told me that he would send for a nurse to help me. I thanked him. After our previous argument, I gave up all hope that he would spend much time with son and so I was grateful that he at least was willing to give me an extra helping hand.
serpentine)Title: A Parent's Fears
Universe:
starikov_chroniclesColors: Summertime Blues (Special Color) #8 - I thought I could trust you; White Russian #15 - Чему́ быть, того́ не минова́ть. (Whatever will be, will be.)
Supplies and Styles: graffiti (Midsummer Night's Dream prompt), modeling clay (mom)
Word Count: 485
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Dysfunctional family.
Summary: Irina vents about Alexei.
Notes: Piece number twenty-nine for Midsummer Nights Dream. Written for my lint roller.
bookblather asked Irina, "do you ever have times when you just. can't. deal? Doesn't matter with what." Last Summertime Blues. As much as I love my husband, there are times where I am just tired of how he treats me.
See, when our son was born, Alexei got scared.
We had two years together before that and I thought that he had opened up a great deal from when I first met him, but soon after Kostya was born, my husband became distant. He spent very little time with us for the first six years of our baby boy’s life. Even though I had excused him as perhaps just being busy with the running of Vaelan, I still thought he could at least bear to be around us more often.
To be honest, I do not think it was me he was really avoiding, but Kostya.
Frankly, I can’t understand why one would be afraid of their own child, especially one who was still so young as to have not done anything, but Alexei was scared regardless. I got tired of it and told him that he should spend time with his son.
He had shook his head, saying that he was no good as a father as he backed away from me and my weaving. As we had talked a lot about parenting before Kostya was born, I knew that this was bullshit. However, nothing I could say would convince him otherwise.
I shouted at him, telling him that I could not raise a child on my own without any help.
(Kostya was two at the time and getting into all sorts of trouble. He had just been screaming earlier that day, so my nerves were already a bit frayed.)
We had a great row, full of shouting and tears and I saw my husband for the coward that he was. For he was afraid that Kostya would kill him someday, like so many other heirs had done in his family. Like he had tried to do to his own father.
I…didn’t know that he had did that. Clearly, he was not successful as his father had been felled by an assassin’s arrow (or did Alexei hire said assassin?), but I wish he had told me before. Not because that would’ve kept me from marrying him having a child, for his father was a truly horrible person, but so that I would’ve known what he was bringing to the table.
This should have been talked about before we had a child.
I said as much to my husband and just stopped, stared at me and left.
I think he was ashamed.
Several hours later, after I had put Kostya to bed, he came by and told me that he would send for a nurse to help me. I thanked him. After our previous argument, I gave up all hope that he would spend much time with son and so I was grateful that he at least was willing to give me an extra helping hand.
no subject
no subject
Thanks for the comment!