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rainbowfic2012-11-12 12:01 am
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Feldgrau Saturation, Zing 11: For Good and All
Author: Kat
Title: For Good and All
Story: In the Heart
Colors: Feldgrau saturation, zing 11 (I can explain this to you, I can't comprehend it for you) with shadowsong's paint-by-numbers (But I will try and try and try again, because I love you.).
Supplies and Materials: Miniature collection, novelty beads ("Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)", Pink), glue (The romantic Libra Moon hooks up with sensual Venus today, highlighting your need to be appreciated by those you love.), glitter (words), modeling clay (crisis), pastels (jealous lover), graffiti.
Word Count: 3000
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Danny and Lars make it work.
Warnings: A lot of cussing, some consensual rough sex.
Notes: Hopefully this still counts.
7. uniform
Lars couldn't even remember the occasion that had brought Danny out in full dress, but Jesus, was it ever worth it.
He'd never thought of her like that, which was weird because she was basically exactly his type, all punky haircut and tequila shots and foul language. If he was going to crush on her, he figured he would've done it the first time he saw her in a singlet and shorts, half drunk and cussing like the sailor she was. Not now, in full dress uniform, hair slicked back and expression serious.
Only went to show, he thought, resigned.
--
Danny noticed him staring, of course. Only to be expected, since full dress made her ass look glorious, or would have been if Lars had actually been staring at her ass, which he emphatically was not. For some reason he was looking at her shoulders instead, and the set of her spine, the automatic ridge of attention stiffening her back.
Which was... weird, and slightly uncomfortable. People staring at her ass she could take. That was only normal and reasonable. People staring at her like she was something special...
Well. That was different.
She wasn't sure if she liked it.
8. discipline
So, Danny was pretty sure she liked Lars, as in like-liked, and that sounded incredibly juvenile, fuck. But hell, when had she ever had a grownup relationship? Never, that's when. One-night stands, quick anonymous fucks, that was ideal. Actually dating someone, someone she liked beyond lust, someone actually in her circle of friends?
Recipe for disaster.
Anyway, she was pretty sure he didn't like her back. For fuck's sake, he was normal, and he dated normal, if incredibly bitchy, girls. No way he'd want a fuckup like her.
Sometimes she had to tense her jaw to keep the words in.
--
Unrequited crushes were the worst.
This was hardly the first one Lars had had, but it sucked just as bad. For Christ's sake, you'd think he'd learn. But no, he still fell hopelessly, ridiculously in love with girls who wanted nothing from him. At least Danny knew he existed. Not her fault if he wanted more than she was willing to give.
He could handle this. He was a grownup. He could be disciplined and friendly, never let a hint of anything else slip past his teeth.
He could, and did. That didn't mean he was happy.
Unrequited crushes sucked.
3. preparation
He was starting to get over it. Or, well, he thought he was, but he wasn't the greatest at knowing what he was feeling (see: the Madison debacle), and subsequent events would prove that he wasn't over it at all, but the point was he thought he was starting to get over Danny when she hauled him over the table and kissed him.
Nice, was his first dazed thought, and then, Wait, what? But she was still kissing him hot and hard, and she never gave him a chance to object or question.
He supposed he didn't mind. But damn.
--
It was an impulse. Danny had never been good at controlling her impulses, at least not when they were going to get her in trouble. But fuck, he'd been sitting across from her and smiling, and she'd been staring at his mouth and thinking about how much she wanted him, and then it had all come to a head and she'd just. Kissed him.
He tasted like beer and smoke, and if he wasn't kissing her back at least he wasn't pushing her away, and then he was kissing back and she was so not prepared for this.
Fucking impulses.
13. wound
Committing was weird and scary and Danny couldn't believe she was about to suggest it.
Okay, so it was basically only putting a name to what already existed. She didn't know about Lars, but she'd been exclusive since they started dating—no more one-night stands for her. Besides, it'd be kinda nice to have somebody to depend on. Assuming he didn't up and leave when she suggested being together together.
This was the closest to married she was ever going to get. Danny clenched her teeth against a sudden fear. She was going to do this, and do it right.
--
So that was probably the last thing he'd ever expected to hear from Danny. He'd thought the wounds of her childhood would be too deep for her to ever consider commitment. He'd decided privately that he'd commit to her, date her exclusively and love her as much as he could, and see if maybe, someday, she could be coaxed into doing the same. Maybe even without her knowing she was committing.
But here she was, suggesting it herself, and how could he say no?
He lay in bed afterwards, holding her close, and wondering what he'd just gotten himself into.
14. gunfire
Okay, so Danny could be snappish. Not like he wasn't himself, especially when he'd been drinking. They pick pick picked at each other like they'd been doing their whole acquaintence, but now that they were dating it acquired a certain... sharpness. Or at least he thought so.
"Can't you put the toilet seat down once in a while?" she'd snipe.
"I don't know, can't you put the cap back on the toothpaste?" he'd retort.
It wasn't new, it wasn't strange, it was how she interacted with almost everyone. It was just that it made him... uncomfortable.
He'd get over it.
--
One of the things Danny loved about Lars was that he'd argue with her and never take it seriously.
One of her first boyfriends, some kid named Kyle she hadn't thought about in years, he'd been so sensitive. Every time she sniped at him he'd flinch and whine about it for weeks. Lars gave as good as he got, and forgot it by the next morning. Not like Jake and Olivia, whose relationship was so sickly sweet as to be bloodless; not like her parents, who saved up every slight to use later.
God, she loved the thrill. And him.
12. trench
This was getting normal. That frightened her, a bit, but only a little, because hell, she'd never had normal so what the fuck did she know about it. Maybe this was just as fucked up as the rest of her life, and it just seemed normal to her. Maybe Jake and Olivia were right, with their kissyface and their endearments and their nauseating adorability.
That was a good way to think about it. Fucked up was good. She could deal with fucked up. She could, weird as it sounded, be happy with fucked up.
She just hoped Lars could too.
--
The arguing was bothering him more and more. He was trying not to let it bother him, because hell, that was just how Danny interacted with the world, and he knew it. He'd known it going in. He pretty much had no right to complain now, but still.
What could he do, anyway? Stop sniping at her? He'd tried that, and things had just gotten weirdly quiet. Seemed like without sniping they didn't talk at all, which bothered him more than arguing. They had to talk about this someday.
He just didn't really want to broach the subject.
Maybe tomorrow.
9. chain of command
Lars was not remotely surprised that Danny liked to top. 'Cause, well, it was Danny, for one. And two, she just liked to be in control of things. Even when she was out of control it was because she wanted to be, no other reason. When she pushed him down in bed, he let her do it, because—well, to be perfectly honest it turned him on.
Everybody had their kinks.
It got a bit same-ish sometimes, that was all. Sometimes a guy wanted to shake things up, just a little.
He made his plans, and waited for his opportunity.
--
Yeah, okay, Danny was a little surprised and a little annoyed when Lars pinned her down, but she was a little intrigued, too. She pushed up against him and asked, "What the hell is this?"
"Insubordination, sailor?" he asked.
She snorted at his (bad) imitation of her PO2 voice, and felt a little thread of warmth curl up her spine. "So what if it is?" An arch, and her hips pressed up against his. "What are you going to do about it?"
He bent to her ear. "You'll have to work it off."
Yeah. She could get used to this.
5. reserves
Lars whined a lot when he tore the tendon in his knee, and Danny couldn't blame him. She'd never torn a tendon but a couple of guys she'd known in the Navy had, and she had it on excellent authority that it hurt like a bitch. She did her best for him, brought him ice and painkillers and helped him get the mobility back. 'Course, she had to yell at him to get him to do shit, but hey, tough love, right? Michael had responded well enough to that when they were kids.
A little tough love never hurt anyone.
--
Danny was the most rotten patient in the world. She hated being sick, and regularly refused to believe that she might be sick at all, preferring to power through. Lars might have let her do this except that he knew for a fact powering through had once turned her cold into bronchitis.
So what if he practically had to sit on her to get her to stay in bed? Pouring tea down her throat proved easier than that, and Danny actually kinda liked soup, provided there was steak following. He could handle it, handle her.
He loved her, after all.
10. skirmish
The apartment was filthy when he came home from work—at a reasonable time, for once. Lars rolled his eyes, and hung up his coat. "Hey, Danny!"
"Yeah?" she called, from the bedroom.
"We gotta clean this place up, it looks like shit."
She popped her head out, hair tousled, and shrugged. "Looks fine to me."
He stared at her, incredulous. "Seriously? Look at this, it's like a bomb went off!"
"As the only one who's actually seen a bomb go off," she snapped, "no, no it doesn't."
He growled under his breath. "Oh, don't pull that card on me."
--
"Card?" she asked, incredulously. "All I said was that you were exaggerating!"
He gestured at the living room, which, okay, was a little messy but nothing to get upset about. "This? This is a godforsaken mess and we need to clean it the fuck up. I don't know why you're bringing war into it..."
"Oh, whatever," she snapped. "You want it clean, clean it yourself. I have work to do." She slammed the bedroom door behind her, and heard him huff outside.
They made up before bed that evening. Pretty spectacularly, too.
Nothing better than angry sex, she thought smugly.
11. battle
The problem with Lars was that he pushed. Not so much for more, just... he was always there, pushing, pushing. Yeah, they lived together, but that was mostly a rent thing, and a convienence of sex thing—and yeah, Danny had committed, but did they have to act coupley all the time? It weighed on her until he asked how they were spending their weekend, and she just snapped.
"I don't know what you're doing," she said, pointedly. "I'm going to the shooting range. Maybe hanging out with Livvy some, dunno."
He raised his eyebrows. "So... we're not doing anything."
--
"No!" she practically shouted, and Lars reeled back.
"What the hell is your problem?" he yelped. "I asked a simple question!"
"You were leaning on me," she snapped, and then shook her head. "Look, just leave me the fuck alone this weekend, okay? We don't need to always be together. Sometimes I just want time."
"So just say so," he said. "Don't scream it at me. I'm not a mind-reader, Danny."
"I didn't know you had to be," she muttered, and was up and gone before he could respond. She spent the night with Olivia.
They made up on Monday.
2. civil war
Danny didn't even know how the damn fight started. All she knew was one moment they were poking at bills and the next they were screaming at each other, words like knives and not the affectionate little cat-scratches they'd always been.
"You're such a bitch sometimes, you just don't even listen!" Lars snarled, his hands in his hair and tugging like they wanted to be tearing at her. She knew that tension, that rough shredded sound in the voice.
"You don't even fucking listen to me!" she yelled back, shrill and sounding like her mother and hating herself for it.
--
"Five minutes, Lars! That's all I want!"
His fists curled hard in his hair; he couldn't even help it. "Five minutes. Five minutes here, an hour there, a weekend here, do you even want to be with me? Do you just want a convienent fucktoy you can see at night and ignore the rest of the time? Because that's not gonna be me, Danny. You're going to have to find someone else."
She stopped—froze, eyes wide as a deer's. "Is that what you think of me?"
He couldn't answer that, didn't know how.
This time, they didn't make up.
1. world war
"I just feel like she doesn't like me or trust me or want me around anymore!" Lars said. "She could want to spend time around me a little bit."
And what even was his life that he was reduced to complaining about this shit to a seventeen-year-old?
Summer tilted her head, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Maybe she just wants to be by herself," she said. "I want that sometimes, and you're never mad at me."
"You're different, Summerchild." He reached out, and ruffled her hair. "She's my girlfriend. And also, stop talking sense."
She giggled.
--
"The son of a bitch doesn't trust me," Danny fumed, pacing back and forth across Olivia's floor. Olivia watched her go, big brown eyes wide. "He thinks I just want... I don't know, a quick fuck and goodbye. Do the past two years mean anything to him or was that just me?"
"Maybe he's afraid," Olivia said. "He's got just as many abandonment issues as you do, they're just a little different."
"I don't care if he's afraid," Danny said, and plopped down on the couch. "I just want to be pissed at him for awhile."
"Fair enough," Olivia said.
6. peacekeeping force
"I feel," Danny said, hooking her hands around her knee, "like everything I've done in the past two years means nothing to him. That I have to be... someone, something I'm not, or he won't trust me to stay."
"Maybe," Aaron said, thoughtfully. "But, you know, I think he's scared. It's not that he doesn't trust you, he doesn't trust himself to be interesting enough or good enough for you, so he panics. It isn't about you, D. It's about him. It would be good of you to reassure him."
"Whatever," Danny said, but she sort of believed him.
--
Lars stared into his tea morosely. "I feel like she doesn't want me at all, like she doesn't want to spend time with me. Am I really just that boring?"
"No," Aaron said, dragging it out thoughtfully. "No, no, you're not boring. I know she likes fighting with you."
Lars's eyebrows went up, and Aaron laughed. "Danny fights with people by way of showing affection. But seriously, she... hmm. If anything I'd say she's scared that you don't trust her. You know nobody's ever really trusted her before my dad. So... just tell her you trust her."
"Huh," Lars said.
15. ceasefire
"I do trust you," he said, the first thing he said when she walked through the door that evening. "I trust you with everything. I said that because... because..." He didn't really know why. "I don't believe it. I know you love me. I trust you."
Danny looked at him for a moment, her eyes hooded, then looked away. "I know," she said, her voice small. "I know you trust me, I... just find it hard to believe it."
Lars reached out, took her hands. "I'll try to make it easier for you. As much as I can."
She smiled.
--
Danny took a breath and said, "I love you. I do. I... don't think you're boring-- look, when we fight, I'm not actually mad at you most of the time. You know that, right?"
"Most of the time." He huffed a laugh, covered his eyes. "Yeah, I do."
"It's just how I show I love you," she said, hating her voice, small and vulnerable. "I want to be with you. It's just sometimes everything gets so wound up and I want to run and..." she took another breath. "I need to be alone."
"I know," he said, and kissed her.
4. standing
"Fight's over, then?" Aaron asked, when Danny came back from the bar and settled herself on Lars's lap.
"Fight's over," Danny said, and wriggled back against Lars just to make him squirm. She grinned when he grabbed her hip to hold her still. "We're stuck like glue."
"Like two elephants in a tar pit," Lars remarked.
"Couple of flies in honey," Danny said.
"I object to you calling me a fly," Lars said.
She looked over her shoulder, raised an eyebrow. "Is you calling me an elephant your subtle way of saying I'm fat?"
"Bye," Aaron said, and left, grinning.
--
Later that night, tucked up in bed, Danny's feet under his knees and her arm thrown carelessly over his shoulder, Lars shifted a little to whisper in her ear. "I got you, okay? I got you. Forever. No matter what you do."
She snickered, and snuggled closer, pressed her mouth against his neck. "I got you too," she mumbled, in reply. "For good and all, I got your back."
"So we're good?" He didn't know why he asked it; it just seemed important, suddenly, to know. For good and all.
She smiled, her lips moving against his skin. "We're good."
Title: For Good and All
Story: In the Heart
Colors: Feldgrau saturation, zing 11 (I can explain this to you, I can't comprehend it for you) with shadowsong's paint-by-numbers (But I will try and try and try again, because I love you.).
Supplies and Materials: Miniature collection, novelty beads ("Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)", Pink), glue (The romantic Libra Moon hooks up with sensual Venus today, highlighting your need to be appreciated by those you love.), glitter (words), modeling clay (crisis), pastels (jealous lover), graffiti.
Word Count: 3000
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Danny and Lars make it work.
Warnings: A lot of cussing, some consensual rough sex.
Notes: Hopefully this still counts.
7. uniform
Lars couldn't even remember the occasion that had brought Danny out in full dress, but Jesus, was it ever worth it.
He'd never thought of her like that, which was weird because she was basically exactly his type, all punky haircut and tequila shots and foul language. If he was going to crush on her, he figured he would've done it the first time he saw her in a singlet and shorts, half drunk and cussing like the sailor she was. Not now, in full dress uniform, hair slicked back and expression serious.
Only went to show, he thought, resigned.
--
Danny noticed him staring, of course. Only to be expected, since full dress made her ass look glorious, or would have been if Lars had actually been staring at her ass, which he emphatically was not. For some reason he was looking at her shoulders instead, and the set of her spine, the automatic ridge of attention stiffening her back.
Which was... weird, and slightly uncomfortable. People staring at her ass she could take. That was only normal and reasonable. People staring at her like she was something special...
Well. That was different.
She wasn't sure if she liked it.
8. discipline
So, Danny was pretty sure she liked Lars, as in like-liked, and that sounded incredibly juvenile, fuck. But hell, when had she ever had a grownup relationship? Never, that's when. One-night stands, quick anonymous fucks, that was ideal. Actually dating someone, someone she liked beyond lust, someone actually in her circle of friends?
Recipe for disaster.
Anyway, she was pretty sure he didn't like her back. For fuck's sake, he was normal, and he dated normal, if incredibly bitchy, girls. No way he'd want a fuckup like her.
Sometimes she had to tense her jaw to keep the words in.
--
Unrequited crushes were the worst.
This was hardly the first one Lars had had, but it sucked just as bad. For Christ's sake, you'd think he'd learn. But no, he still fell hopelessly, ridiculously in love with girls who wanted nothing from him. At least Danny knew he existed. Not her fault if he wanted more than she was willing to give.
He could handle this. He was a grownup. He could be disciplined and friendly, never let a hint of anything else slip past his teeth.
He could, and did. That didn't mean he was happy.
Unrequited crushes sucked.
3. preparation
He was starting to get over it. Or, well, he thought he was, but he wasn't the greatest at knowing what he was feeling (see: the Madison debacle), and subsequent events would prove that he wasn't over it at all, but the point was he thought he was starting to get over Danny when she hauled him over the table and kissed him.
Nice, was his first dazed thought, and then, Wait, what? But she was still kissing him hot and hard, and she never gave him a chance to object or question.
He supposed he didn't mind. But damn.
--
It was an impulse. Danny had never been good at controlling her impulses, at least not when they were going to get her in trouble. But fuck, he'd been sitting across from her and smiling, and she'd been staring at his mouth and thinking about how much she wanted him, and then it had all come to a head and she'd just. Kissed him.
He tasted like beer and smoke, and if he wasn't kissing her back at least he wasn't pushing her away, and then he was kissing back and she was so not prepared for this.
Fucking impulses.
13. wound
Committing was weird and scary and Danny couldn't believe she was about to suggest it.
Okay, so it was basically only putting a name to what already existed. She didn't know about Lars, but she'd been exclusive since they started dating—no more one-night stands for her. Besides, it'd be kinda nice to have somebody to depend on. Assuming he didn't up and leave when she suggested being together together.
This was the closest to married she was ever going to get. Danny clenched her teeth against a sudden fear. She was going to do this, and do it right.
--
So that was probably the last thing he'd ever expected to hear from Danny. He'd thought the wounds of her childhood would be too deep for her to ever consider commitment. He'd decided privately that he'd commit to her, date her exclusively and love her as much as he could, and see if maybe, someday, she could be coaxed into doing the same. Maybe even without her knowing she was committing.
But here she was, suggesting it herself, and how could he say no?
He lay in bed afterwards, holding her close, and wondering what he'd just gotten himself into.
14. gunfire
Okay, so Danny could be snappish. Not like he wasn't himself, especially when he'd been drinking. They pick pick picked at each other like they'd been doing their whole acquaintence, but now that they were dating it acquired a certain... sharpness. Or at least he thought so.
"Can't you put the toilet seat down once in a while?" she'd snipe.
"I don't know, can't you put the cap back on the toothpaste?" he'd retort.
It wasn't new, it wasn't strange, it was how she interacted with almost everyone. It was just that it made him... uncomfortable.
He'd get over it.
--
One of the things Danny loved about Lars was that he'd argue with her and never take it seriously.
One of her first boyfriends, some kid named Kyle she hadn't thought about in years, he'd been so sensitive. Every time she sniped at him he'd flinch and whine about it for weeks. Lars gave as good as he got, and forgot it by the next morning. Not like Jake and Olivia, whose relationship was so sickly sweet as to be bloodless; not like her parents, who saved up every slight to use later.
God, she loved the thrill. And him.
12. trench
This was getting normal. That frightened her, a bit, but only a little, because hell, she'd never had normal so what the fuck did she know about it. Maybe this was just as fucked up as the rest of her life, and it just seemed normal to her. Maybe Jake and Olivia were right, with their kissyface and their endearments and their nauseating adorability.
That was a good way to think about it. Fucked up was good. She could deal with fucked up. She could, weird as it sounded, be happy with fucked up.
She just hoped Lars could too.
--
The arguing was bothering him more and more. He was trying not to let it bother him, because hell, that was just how Danny interacted with the world, and he knew it. He'd known it going in. He pretty much had no right to complain now, but still.
What could he do, anyway? Stop sniping at her? He'd tried that, and things had just gotten weirdly quiet. Seemed like without sniping they didn't talk at all, which bothered him more than arguing. They had to talk about this someday.
He just didn't really want to broach the subject.
Maybe tomorrow.
9. chain of command
Lars was not remotely surprised that Danny liked to top. 'Cause, well, it was Danny, for one. And two, she just liked to be in control of things. Even when she was out of control it was because she wanted to be, no other reason. When she pushed him down in bed, he let her do it, because—well, to be perfectly honest it turned him on.
Everybody had their kinks.
It got a bit same-ish sometimes, that was all. Sometimes a guy wanted to shake things up, just a little.
He made his plans, and waited for his opportunity.
--
Yeah, okay, Danny was a little surprised and a little annoyed when Lars pinned her down, but she was a little intrigued, too. She pushed up against him and asked, "What the hell is this?"
"Insubordination, sailor?" he asked.
She snorted at his (bad) imitation of her PO2 voice, and felt a little thread of warmth curl up her spine. "So what if it is?" An arch, and her hips pressed up against his. "What are you going to do about it?"
He bent to her ear. "You'll have to work it off."
Yeah. She could get used to this.
5. reserves
Lars whined a lot when he tore the tendon in his knee, and Danny couldn't blame him. She'd never torn a tendon but a couple of guys she'd known in the Navy had, and she had it on excellent authority that it hurt like a bitch. She did her best for him, brought him ice and painkillers and helped him get the mobility back. 'Course, she had to yell at him to get him to do shit, but hey, tough love, right? Michael had responded well enough to that when they were kids.
A little tough love never hurt anyone.
--
Danny was the most rotten patient in the world. She hated being sick, and regularly refused to believe that she might be sick at all, preferring to power through. Lars might have let her do this except that he knew for a fact powering through had once turned her cold into bronchitis.
So what if he practically had to sit on her to get her to stay in bed? Pouring tea down her throat proved easier than that, and Danny actually kinda liked soup, provided there was steak following. He could handle it, handle her.
He loved her, after all.
10. skirmish
The apartment was filthy when he came home from work—at a reasonable time, for once. Lars rolled his eyes, and hung up his coat. "Hey, Danny!"
"Yeah?" she called, from the bedroom.
"We gotta clean this place up, it looks like shit."
She popped her head out, hair tousled, and shrugged. "Looks fine to me."
He stared at her, incredulous. "Seriously? Look at this, it's like a bomb went off!"
"As the only one who's actually seen a bomb go off," she snapped, "no, no it doesn't."
He growled under his breath. "Oh, don't pull that card on me."
--
"Card?" she asked, incredulously. "All I said was that you were exaggerating!"
He gestured at the living room, which, okay, was a little messy but nothing to get upset about. "This? This is a godforsaken mess and we need to clean it the fuck up. I don't know why you're bringing war into it..."
"Oh, whatever," she snapped. "You want it clean, clean it yourself. I have work to do." She slammed the bedroom door behind her, and heard him huff outside.
They made up before bed that evening. Pretty spectacularly, too.
Nothing better than angry sex, she thought smugly.
11. battle
The problem with Lars was that he pushed. Not so much for more, just... he was always there, pushing, pushing. Yeah, they lived together, but that was mostly a rent thing, and a convienence of sex thing—and yeah, Danny had committed, but did they have to act coupley all the time? It weighed on her until he asked how they were spending their weekend, and she just snapped.
"I don't know what you're doing," she said, pointedly. "I'm going to the shooting range. Maybe hanging out with Livvy some, dunno."
He raised his eyebrows. "So... we're not doing anything."
--
"No!" she practically shouted, and Lars reeled back.
"What the hell is your problem?" he yelped. "I asked a simple question!"
"You were leaning on me," she snapped, and then shook her head. "Look, just leave me the fuck alone this weekend, okay? We don't need to always be together. Sometimes I just want time."
"So just say so," he said. "Don't scream it at me. I'm not a mind-reader, Danny."
"I didn't know you had to be," she muttered, and was up and gone before he could respond. She spent the night with Olivia.
They made up on Monday.
2. civil war
Danny didn't even know how the damn fight started. All she knew was one moment they were poking at bills and the next they were screaming at each other, words like knives and not the affectionate little cat-scratches they'd always been.
"You're such a bitch sometimes, you just don't even listen!" Lars snarled, his hands in his hair and tugging like they wanted to be tearing at her. She knew that tension, that rough shredded sound in the voice.
"You don't even fucking listen to me!" she yelled back, shrill and sounding like her mother and hating herself for it.
--
"Five minutes, Lars! That's all I want!"
His fists curled hard in his hair; he couldn't even help it. "Five minutes. Five minutes here, an hour there, a weekend here, do you even want to be with me? Do you just want a convienent fucktoy you can see at night and ignore the rest of the time? Because that's not gonna be me, Danny. You're going to have to find someone else."
She stopped—froze, eyes wide as a deer's. "Is that what you think of me?"
He couldn't answer that, didn't know how.
This time, they didn't make up.
1. world war
"I just feel like she doesn't like me or trust me or want me around anymore!" Lars said. "She could want to spend time around me a little bit."
And what even was his life that he was reduced to complaining about this shit to a seventeen-year-old?
Summer tilted her head, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Maybe she just wants to be by herself," she said. "I want that sometimes, and you're never mad at me."
"You're different, Summerchild." He reached out, and ruffled her hair. "She's my girlfriend. And also, stop talking sense."
She giggled.
--
"The son of a bitch doesn't trust me," Danny fumed, pacing back and forth across Olivia's floor. Olivia watched her go, big brown eyes wide. "He thinks I just want... I don't know, a quick fuck and goodbye. Do the past two years mean anything to him or was that just me?"
"Maybe he's afraid," Olivia said. "He's got just as many abandonment issues as you do, they're just a little different."
"I don't care if he's afraid," Danny said, and plopped down on the couch. "I just want to be pissed at him for awhile."
"Fair enough," Olivia said.
6. peacekeeping force
"I feel," Danny said, hooking her hands around her knee, "like everything I've done in the past two years means nothing to him. That I have to be... someone, something I'm not, or he won't trust me to stay."
"Maybe," Aaron said, thoughtfully. "But, you know, I think he's scared. It's not that he doesn't trust you, he doesn't trust himself to be interesting enough or good enough for you, so he panics. It isn't about you, D. It's about him. It would be good of you to reassure him."
"Whatever," Danny said, but she sort of believed him.
--
Lars stared into his tea morosely. "I feel like she doesn't want me at all, like she doesn't want to spend time with me. Am I really just that boring?"
"No," Aaron said, dragging it out thoughtfully. "No, no, you're not boring. I know she likes fighting with you."
Lars's eyebrows went up, and Aaron laughed. "Danny fights with people by way of showing affection. But seriously, she... hmm. If anything I'd say she's scared that you don't trust her. You know nobody's ever really trusted her before my dad. So... just tell her you trust her."
"Huh," Lars said.
15. ceasefire
"I do trust you," he said, the first thing he said when she walked through the door that evening. "I trust you with everything. I said that because... because..." He didn't really know why. "I don't believe it. I know you love me. I trust you."
Danny looked at him for a moment, her eyes hooded, then looked away. "I know," she said, her voice small. "I know you trust me, I... just find it hard to believe it."
Lars reached out, took her hands. "I'll try to make it easier for you. As much as I can."
She smiled.
--
Danny took a breath and said, "I love you. I do. I... don't think you're boring-- look, when we fight, I'm not actually mad at you most of the time. You know that, right?"
"Most of the time." He huffed a laugh, covered his eyes. "Yeah, I do."
"It's just how I show I love you," she said, hating her voice, small and vulnerable. "I want to be with you. It's just sometimes everything gets so wound up and I want to run and..." she took another breath. "I need to be alone."
"I know," he said, and kissed her.
4. standing
"Fight's over, then?" Aaron asked, when Danny came back from the bar and settled herself on Lars's lap.
"Fight's over," Danny said, and wriggled back against Lars just to make him squirm. She grinned when he grabbed her hip to hold her still. "We're stuck like glue."
"Like two elephants in a tar pit," Lars remarked.
"Couple of flies in honey," Danny said.
"I object to you calling me a fly," Lars said.
She looked over her shoulder, raised an eyebrow. "Is you calling me an elephant your subtle way of saying I'm fat?"
"Bye," Aaron said, and left, grinning.
--
Later that night, tucked up in bed, Danny's feet under his knees and her arm thrown carelessly over his shoulder, Lars shifted a little to whisper in her ear. "I got you, okay? I got you. Forever. No matter what you do."
She snickered, and snuggled closer, pressed her mouth against his neck. "I got you too," she mumbled, in reply. "For good and all, I got your back."
"So we're good?" He didn't know why he asked it; it just seemed important, suddenly, to know. For good and all.
She smiled, her lips moving against his skin. "We're good."
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It's wonderfully written! All the emotions and the pain and trust and love and doubts.
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BEST FIRST KISS EVER. LIKE MERITS A SPIT-TAKE AWESOME UP IN HERE.
Only Danny would think Jake and Olivia were nauseating (in that way which is adorable in and of itself XD- OH NOES CANNOT WIN).
He bent to her ear. "You'll have to work it off."
...#O_O#
OMG the contrast in five- It was OK if he whined!/Worst. Patient. Ever. It's just... *SQUISHES*
"As the only one who's actually seen a bomb go off," she snapped, "no, no it doesn't."
He growled under his breath. "Oh, don't pull that card on me."
*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK ROYALE*
"You're different, Summerchild." He reached out, and ruffled her hair. "She's my girlfriend. And also, stop talking sense."
This whole big fight is oddly moving despite being a fight. But- icing; see that.
Yes. You are very good! Forevers. SO MUCH HEARTING HERE.
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(And may or may not like your creative ways of expressing said sentiment bestest.)