ysonesse: (Default)
ysonesse ([personal profile] ysonesse) wrote in [community profile] rainbowfic2012-09-02 03:31 pm

Tyrian Purple #8, Provence Lavender #12, Sulphur #19

Name: leiamoody
Story: Phantasmirrora—“Fragile"
Colors: Tyrian Purple #8 “Achilles’ heel”; Provence Lavender #12 “Spring water”; Sulphur #19 “Forbidden knowledge”
Word Count: 935
Rating: PG
Summary: Romena has lost some parts of herself.

Her mind was clear, a gaping void forever in search of the Universal Voice. She could restore enlightenment to this wretched realm only if Wisdom released her voice over the hills and valleys…then darkness would fall away. Everyone would be released from this prison. All of the Unfortunates would be free.

Romena dropped back into her body. The ascension spell failed once again because her concentration strayed. Grief always pulled Romena back into her body, forced her into seclusion for days until her mental strength returned. It bit into that festering madness which plagued her interminable existence from one artificial day to the next. That grief pushed Romena into a desperate pursuit of a functional exit mirror. A few missed steps, two ingredient substitutions, and not enough sleep created the inevitable outcome. Her mind and heart personae literally exited from Romena’s psyche, became flesh, and broke away into Ysonesse. The heart component she called Norea (in honor of the Gnostic version of logic) headed in one direction (perhaps in search of shining truth). The mind component she named Carmilla (after the vampire character) went into the opposite direction (perhaps in search of destruction).

Romena pressed her fingers against the glass. Dusk fell around Tacheron like a protective cloak, always brought around the estate via Eustace’s magic. Maybe tonight, after theoretical midnight, he would call up a thunderstorm just for the ambience. Maybe that seemed ridiculous, overly mopey instead of rising above her predicament. Laughter was impossible, because joy was lost when Norea departed for her own path.

Arianna entered the room wielding a goblet in her right hand (no doubt filled up with curewater from the garden fountain). “The water needs a drink.”

Romena attempted a pale imitation of what a charitable person would call a “smile”. Something in her throat almost felt like what anyone would call a “laugh”.

Arianna parked herself on the left half of the settee then handed Romena the goblet. “How are you doing?”

Romena took a long swallow of curewater. The water restored a magician’s weary interior self (after long bouts of casting spells, interminable nights of study, countless hours of perfecting charms). It restored the imbalances within a tortured soul. “I’m getting better.”

Arianna frowned. “Somehow that doesn’t feel true.”

“How can you feel truth?”

“Good question considering the place…” Arianna shrugged. “Everything is false here but pain.”

Romena took another drink of water. “Other things are real. We aren’t illusions yet. Jacob and Eustace definitely exist. That new girl is made of reality. So is everyone in Ysonesse. Plus I can verify The Summoner is three-dimensional.”

“Yeah, that one is pretty obvious.”

“Emotions are real here. Anyone can verify we feel too much of good and bad.”

“Some of my feelings disappeared with Norea and Carmilla.”

“Losing your anger is bad?”

“If your dark side gets loose in the world holding a lot of repressed anger, I’d call that unfortunate.”

“Okay, not good.”

“I never realized how much anger I kept bottled up since falling into here.” Romena swirled the water around the goblet.

“Did you have any reason to be angry?”

“Is that a serious question?”

“You always kept everything together when the rest of us were going crazy.”

“Mom always told me ‘Be strong’, and I’ve never been able to not keep going, not give up, never show weakness. My strength became my weakness.”

“Once you started playing around with magic that would open your psyche up to any bad influences…” Arianna rubbed an imaginary stain from the couch.

“So it’s my fault?”

“No. It’s my fault. I got into stuff that nobody should learn, because I was looking for another world that wasn’t home.” Arianna sighed. “The Summoner put his book through the mail slot. How come I opened up a strange book instead of throwing it away?”

“Didn’t the section about invoking darkness tell you anything?”

“I never got that far in the manuscript. Once I gazed into the White Heart Abyss, something grabbed me and pulled me into darkness.”

“There was nothing for me in the Abyss.”

“There is always one thing for every person in the Abyss.” Arianna retorted. “Running away from your dark side means that dark half could run away from you.”

Romena placed both hands around the goblet. Was it possible to find Carmilla if she looked into the water? She could trust Norea, because she was rational and could make appropriate decisions out there among the wild things.

She really needed to worry about Carmilla. So many decades of repressed anger/sadness brought into physical form could only lead to disaster. Keeping track of her erstwhile dark self was important. Constructing a series of viewing orbs would be time consuming; grounding up sand into glass with a mortar and pestle (because the glass needed for viewing had to be made from the pure source rather than obtained from a merchant). Forming the orbs was another kind of work (from bending the glass into three-dimensional circles to imbuing the orbs with viewing capabilities). It wasn’t an endeavor meant for the bored or simply curious due to the intense mental and physical stress which was the inevitable byproduct of the orb creation process.

Romena finished the last of her curewater. “I’d better start on the viewing orbs.”

Arianna jumped up from the settee. “It never hurts to get some assistance.”

Romena shrugged. “Especially when it comes to shaping the glass.”

“Kind of like rolling dough when it’s first out of the oven.”

Romena smiled in a near-perfect replica of a true happy expression. “Then you get to roll the orbs.”
kay_brooke: Stick drawing of a linked adenine and thymine molecule with text "DNA: my OTP" (Default)

[personal profile] kay_brooke 2012-09-04 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I really like the line about her strength being her weakness, and that all of her repressed anger has manifested into a malevolent form.
bookblather: A picture of Yomiko Readman looking at books with the text "bookgasm." (Default)

[personal profile] bookblather 2012-09-09 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Romena's imitations of emotions are brilliant. Well done.