Ruby 10, Snow White 5: gone

[bookblather]

Author: Kat
Title: gone
Story: In the Heart
Colors: Ruby 10 (tiny cottage), snow white 5 (hedge of thorns).
Supplies and Materials: Bichromatic, watercolors (a painting with a curse on it, pink panties, chicken bones, several bottles of booze, a fake ID, a bunch of matches), stickers (parachutes), modeling clay (champion), seed beads, yarn (sunset), glitter (sacrifice), glue (pretending that everything is OK will only make matters worse.), chalk (isolated by AIDS).
Word Count: 441.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Sonali and her sisters clear out Maya's room.
Warnings: mention of underage drinking.
Notes: none


Mama set them to cleaning out Maya's room, all the detritus and small treasures of a young life half-lived. She had so many things, Sonali thought, folding her sister's clothes and stacking it neatly in a drawer. Brightly colored t-shirts, pants, and skirts, a green-and-gold embroidered sari she hated to wear but always took care of nevertheless. Even her underwear was brightly colored, pinks and greens and oranges, the brilliant colors Maya loved.

Loved. She was already thinking of her sister in the past tense.

Which was ridiculous. Maya wasn't dead. Though she might as well be.

Across the room, Kamini drew in a sharp breath. Sonali looked over at her younger sister, grateful for the distraction. "What is it?"

"She had a fake ID," Kamini said, and held it up; a rather good picture of Maya looking at least five years older, with a birthdate to match. "What could she possibly use this for?"

Sonali closed her eyes, and sat down on the bed, holding a t-shirt to her chest. "I don't know."

"Nothing good," Kamini muttered.

Priya rolled her eyes, and slammed a book down into the box she was filling. "Don't act like such a prig," she snapped. "Maybe she just wanted to go to clubs, okay? Some of us like to dance."

Kamini sniffed, and put the ID into her own box, delicately, as if she didn't want to touch it. "Then she should've gone to school dances."

Priya balled her fist, and Sonali intervened. "Girls," she said, quietly. "What Maya did is... it's not important now."

Priya and Kamini looked at her, then lowered their eyes to their laps. Sonali turned away and began packing up Maya's candles, setting aside the bundle of matches that her sister must have purloined from the kitchen. The candles were burnt and melted, drippings all down their sides. What had Maya been praying for so fervently?

As if she had to ask.

So many small things. Little parachute toys. A postcard from the Metropolitan, of a pretty painting with a "fuck you" scrawled across it in unsteady handwriting. A bottle of Jack Daniels that Sonali quickly hid beneath Maya's clothes. If Kamini said one more thing about their lost sister... a lump rose in her throat, and she clenched her hands on the cardboard box until the edges bit into her palm. Maya was gone forever, and all any of them could do was judge her.

"Ew," Priya said, unearthing an ancient box of takeout and dropping it instantly into the trash. "KFC. I thought she had better taste in food."

Sonali closed her eyes, and fought back the tears.

Comments

[isana]

This really does get you in the gut, the way the sisters are going through Maya's possessions like she's already gone and never coming back. I want to feel sympathetic for Kamini, because maybe there's some unresolved anger and maybe she really does miss Maya, but so far I just want to throttle her for being so judgmental.

But man, do I feel terrible for Sonali. Poor girl, it's gotta be hard.

[bookblather]

Kamini does miss Maya, and she's very afraid; she's only a year older than Maya and right now she's painfully aware that it could have been her, so she's trying to reassure herself by saying all the things Maya did that she wouldn't do. It's sort of backfiring.

And yeah, Sonali is the oldest, so this feels like a personal loss.

Thank you!

[auguris]

Ouch. Cleaning out a person's room like that is always hard. I really do feel bad for Sonali, but I feel worse for Kamini; her critical attitude is her way of mourning, but it might only make her feel worse.

[bookblather]

Yeah, I think especially because Maya isn't dead, but they have to act as if she is. Also, yeah, Kamini is definitely mourning her sister and trying to reassure herself that it wouldn't have happened to her while knowing full well it could have.

Thank you!

[kay_brooke]

This is just really heartbreaking. I can't say much about it because the judgment and the mourning of a person who isn't dead makes me so angry. I feel very sorry for the other girls.

[bookblather]

Yeah. They're all terrified and missing Maya and reacting to it in their own ways.

Thank you.

[sarcasticsra]

God, this is really sad, the way they have to act like she's dead even though she isn't. I really want to shake Maya's parents, seriously. Ugh.

Well done.

[bookblather]

Yeah, I don't even know what's going on in her parents' heads.

Thank you.

[shipwreck_light]

And today. Today was the first time the mention of KFC made me truly sad.

Which is just- I can smell this room and see the candles and the colored panties. It's so heartbreaking and yet so tactile.

[bookblather]

I did not realize that I made KFC a sad thing. Truly a great accomplishment.

Thank you.