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rainbowfic2025-08-29 11:11 pm
shadowsong26) wrote in rainbowfic2025-08-29 11:11 pm
Opal Jasper #18
Name: shadowsong26
Story: Not-Feelings
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Opal Jasper #18. wither and die,
Supplies and Materials: graffiti (Lilith Faire Day Six: Main Stage), photography, charcoal, beading wire, canvas
Word Count: 295
Rating: PG-13/R
Characters: Tana
Warnings: Parental death; complicated family dynamics; Tana.
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always.
It was four days after her mother's funeral when it really hit her.
Not that she hadn't cared, if only because of how Papa and Kellom and the others were reacting, but Tana and her mother hadn't been close for years, if ever, and besides she was a traitor anyway even if no one could prove it.
So she hadn't grieved. She hadn't needed to. She felt sorry for Papa, who had loved her blindly, and Kellom, who was oddly closed-off about the whole thing, and a little bit for Keta, who had been right there when it happened, but for Mamma herself?
No.
But now, four days after the funeral, she found herself unable to sleep, thoughts of her mother's death wrapped around her like ivy climbing a tree and strangling it. She couldn't even muster up a righteous fury that she had deserved it, even though she had.
She wasn't crying, either--she refused to waste any tears on a traitor, even one who had borne her and had seemed so loving and gentle when she was little and didn't know any better.
She just lay there, in the dark, thinking about the mother who was too poisonous for her tears, and too--too much her mother for her rage.
It was like all the fire that usually drove her had been watered down and washed away, and she hated that feeling.
Hopefully, in the morning, when the darkness went away and the fifth day after the funeral dawned, her passion would come back and she could move on. Not waste any more time on stupid feelings or not-feelings on her mother.
Who was dead.
And would now always be dead.
Tana rolled over, buried her face in her pillows, and continued not to cry.
Story: Not-Feelings
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Opal Jasper #18. wither and die,
Supplies and Materials: graffiti (Lilith Faire Day Six: Main Stage), photography, charcoal, beading wire, canvas
Word Count: 295
Rating: PG-13/R
Characters: Tana
Warnings: Parental death; complicated family dynamics; Tana.
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always.
It was four days after her mother's funeral when it really hit her.
Not that she hadn't cared, if only because of how Papa and Kellom and the others were reacting, but Tana and her mother hadn't been close for years, if ever, and besides she was a traitor anyway even if no one could prove it.
So she hadn't grieved. She hadn't needed to. She felt sorry for Papa, who had loved her blindly, and Kellom, who was oddly closed-off about the whole thing, and a little bit for Keta, who had been right there when it happened, but for Mamma herself?
No.
But now, four days after the funeral, she found herself unable to sleep, thoughts of her mother's death wrapped around her like ivy climbing a tree and strangling it. She couldn't even muster up a righteous fury that she had deserved it, even though she had.
She wasn't crying, either--she refused to waste any tears on a traitor, even one who had borne her and had seemed so loving and gentle when she was little and didn't know any better.
She just lay there, in the dark, thinking about the mother who was too poisonous for her tears, and too--too much her mother for her rage.
It was like all the fire that usually drove her had been watered down and washed away, and she hated that feeling.
Hopefully, in the morning, when the darkness went away and the fifth day after the funeral dawned, her passion would come back and she could move on. Not waste any more time on stupid feelings or not-feelings on her mother.
Who was dead.
And would now always be dead.
Tana rolled over, buried her face in her pillows, and continued not to cry.
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1) https://i.pinimg.com/originals/12/b3/5d/12b35d58de3394ae0d9deb6ed77429a3.gif (HILARIOUSLY apropos at least IMO)
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