Ilthit (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ilthit) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rainbowfic2023-11-10 05:00 pm
ilthit) wrote in rainbowfic2023-11-10 05:00 pm
Blue Caravan #1, Chocolate-Dipped Strawberry #6, Cloudy Gray #8: The Ways in Which We Do Not Fit
Name: The Ways in Which We Do Not Fit
Story: The Lin Moniao Series
Colors: Blue Caravan #1 (My true love is a man who never existed at all), Chocolate-Dipped Strawberry #6 (beg), Cloudy Gray #8 (lay)
Supplies and Styles: eraser, frame, gesso, nubs; graffiti (October mini-bingo prompt "apple"), life drawing, reimagining, silhouette, triptych
Word Count: 3,096
Rating: teen
Warnings: Allusions to extreme violence, drugs, war, spoilers for Will of Heaven. No sex but plenty of horniness.
Summary:...and the way we do. Five times Shen Shanwei and Mu Liqiang did not have sex.
Note: This is my attempt to see how many tropes I can throw at these two people who are clearly attracted to each other before they will actually do anything about it. None of them are canon to the Lin Moniao Series, but depends on that context. Most are also different continuums.
Note 2: In case you are reading this without context: Lin Moniao, Mu Liqiang and Shen Shanwei are all spiritual cultivators of the Illustrious Qilin Villa sect, and were of roughly equal rank until recently when Lin Moniao was made sect leader. Mu Liqiang and Lin Moniao are lovers; Shen Shanwei also becomes lovers with Lin Moniao after the canon version of the first scene here, when he asks Mu Liqiang's permission for it. Mu Liqiang still affectionately calls Lin Moniao "shixiong" instead of "sect leader" in private. Hope that helps a little...
*
"Anyway, who says you can't be here at the same time as Mu Liqiang? Not me."
- Lin Moniao, in The Will of Heaven, Chapter 8
--Practice--
(The Will of Heaven, Chapter 7, alternate scene: In the armory)
"Begging Shen-shixiong's pardon," Mu Liqiang said, "is he asking this shidi for permission to sleep with the sect leader?"
Shen Shanwei's rigid posture turned inward for a moment and his chin dipped, but he pulled it up again defiantly. "If the sect leader is amenable."
The armory was a mix of light and dark, the high windows providing slanting pools of illumination while leaving other corners hidden. Mu Liqiang had set aside the weapon he had been polishing, and though they were facing each other, he could not quite see Shen-shixiong's expression. He suspected that, considering Shen-shixiong's thin face, he had stood in the shadows on purpose.
Mu Liqiang thought of what he had seen of how Shen-shixiong and Lin-shixiong--Sect Leader Lin--had danced around one another, and of how his beautiful and perfect lover had been made to wait around for his interest to be reciprocated, and how sharp-tongued Shen-shixiong could be; and Mu Liqiang may have liked that sort of thing himself, but he didn't like anyone being mean to his Lin-shixiong. So he said, "This lowly one cannot tell his shixiong or the sect leader no, if it's what they want."
Shen-shixiong made a frustrated sound. "I know that, but this isn't about sect rank... In this, you outrank me. I've heard several brothers tell me you've been by his side every night since you left Kaifeng. So, do you give permission?"
That sent a warm splash through Mu Liqiang's tender heart; and though it was for the thought of Lin Moniao favouring him so openly, it softened him to Shen-shixiong's plight as well. He could tell Shen-shixiong was being brave, in his way.
So, he would say yes, but there would be no harm in playing a little first, would there?
So he sat back down on his stool and held out his hand. "Come closer."
Shen Shanwei hesitated, then stepped up. He looked at the outstretched hand, hesitated again, and then lay his wrist on it. He was expecting to have his qi read? Mu Liqiang closed his fingers around it gently. "Shen-shixiong is sweet, but how will he please a man with as much experience as the sect leader has? Forgive me, but Shen-shixiong does not strike me as someone practiced in the arts of love."
Shen Shanwei tried to snatch his wrist back, but Mu Liqiang held on, not squeezing but not budging, either.
"Since we are speaking so intimately," Shanwei replied in a harsh, clipped tone, "Mu Liqiang's point has already been considered. This shixiong would still like to offer the sect leader what little he can. Will you give me my hand back?"
Mu Liqiang did not. Instead, he pushed Shen Shanwei's sleeve up, tracing the inside of his thin wrist upwards. He could feel a shiver run through the man; and smiled up at him. "This shidi would gladly offer his services to prepare Shen-shixiong for such an unaccustomed task. It really would be my pleasure, and this shidi is sure some time could be made this afternoon. Shen-shixiong just needs to say the word."
For a moment he thought Shen Shanwei might say yes; they stayed in this tableau, the skin warm under his skin, the pulse under his thumb racing.
Then, "Is that your price?" Shen Shanwei snapped, and pulled his arm free. This time, Mu Liqiang let him.
"It was only an offer. This shidi can be most accommodating--"
"Forget it!" Shen Shanwei snapped his sleeve back in place, turned on his heel, and marched out. The air seemed cooler and lighter, all of a sudden, as if a warm blanket had been yanked off him first thing in the morning.
Mu Liqiang sighed, and went back to polishing, a little more uneasy than he had been.
-
--Only one bed--
(The Will of Heaven, Chapter 14-15, alternate scene: If Mu Liqiang had accompanied Shen Shanwei and Huang Tianlin to Anqing)
Shen Shanwei rubbed the bridge of his nose. The fun part of being drunk was over, and he was starting to feel smudgy and gross. "Huang-qianbei is our senior. If he sleeps in the stables, then so will we."
The innkeeper who had been summoned from his bed to attend to the cultivators of the Illustrious Qilin Villa raised his hands in objection: No, no, they couldn't put the gentlemen in the stables! He would go wake up his wife and daughter and offer their bed, so that there would be room enough for everyone Now both Shen Shanwei and Mu Liqiang raised their voice to protest: Absolutely not, what kind of distinction would it give a gentleman to drive a family from bed?
It was only when Huang Tianlin put his hands up that all of them quieted down. "Huang-qianbei will sleep where he damn well likes," he groused, "and it'll be the stables if I want it to be the stables! Horses are better company than noisy drunk youths!" And so Huang-qianbei marched out into the night, leaving the noisy drunk youths to take the last, cramped room left at this small roadside inn outside Anqing's gates.
It was only until dawn, after all, and then the gates would open, and they could carry out their mission in the city, combining espionage with wedding planning.
A single oil lamp lit the room. The late hour weighed on Shen Shanwei's bones; he really had grown complacent, staying at the Villa for so long, with its daily routines, early mornings, early nights, and regular meals. He washed as meticulously as he could, stripped to his under-shirt and trousers, and crawled into the bed under a pile of generous blankets, to watch blearily as Mu Liqiang followed suit.
Though not very big, the bed was made for two; on the other hand, one of the two was Mu Liqiang; so Shen Shanwei had his doubts. As it happened, though, once the big youth had politely asked permission, crawled in and curled on his side, there seemed to be just enough space for both of them to lie without touching one another. Shen Shanwei let out a relieved sigh and rested his head against the hard-packed straw pillow.
He had been very meticulous about where to keep his eyes while Mu Liqiang shed his outer robes. Were he pressed, he might admit he was not entirely unaware that he was getting into bed with his lover's lover. Pressed even more, he might concede the point that Mu Liqiang was also-- Just, so-- But, no, this was no different from lying in bed with shijie, chaste as a brother. Mu Liqiang was not that different from her, either. Bigger, yes, but he too had that scent of Qilin Villa--the incense they burned at the services, the smell of the lake air--and of hard work. And now also some horse, and a touch of wine underneath.
Shen Shanwei closed his eyes and emptied his mind, and let exhaustion pull him into sleep.
-
Mu Liqiang lay awake longer, though he was tired too; tiredness prickled under his skin and paradoxically wouldn't let him sleep, and so he listened for Shen-shixiong's breath as it grew slow and steady, somnolent.
He wanted to reach out and touch the loose hair on the pillow next to his. He'd like to shift closer and press a kiss on that narrow exposed neck.
Mu Liqiang was very much in love with Lin Moniao and his heart could not be more content, but he also knew himself well enough to know he was hopelessly hot-blooded and amorous. He had had the idle thought of seducing Shen-shixiong on occasion-- and Lin-shixiong had explicitly given permission... and if Mu Liqiang and Shen Shanwei could find accord, he knew how well it would please Lin-shixiong, too.
But Shen-shixiong had barely even looked at him as he'd undressed, and had shown no sign of any interest or even a bashfulness that might be a sign of hope. Had Mu Liqiang imagined the times before when he'd thought Shen-shixiong had looked at him with desire? That cold shoulder had been the opposite of encouragement. It seemed Mu Liqiang's idle desire was not returned.
He sighed and let the thought go, letting the steady breathing of the body next to him lull him into a short sleep.
-
--Dual cultivation--
(Contextless non-canon or possibly post-canon mission; some spoilers for the end of Will of Heaven)
Shen Shanwei blew out a breath, trying to steady his nerves and respond calmly. "This shixiong understands. Shidi's suggestion is reasonable. Shixiong is not offended, or trying to cast aspersions on shidi's aptitude. But it would not work."
Mu Liqiang kept his eyes demurely down. Shen Shanwei glanced at him and had to press his lips tightly together to contain an intake of breath. Damn him, now he was thinking about it. He'd probably be thinking about it all night.
It was one thing to lie next to Mu Liqiang when they were both tired and needed to get up early in the morning, and no-one had so much as hinted at the possibility of--lying together. Shen Shanwei really had no designs on Mu Liqiang. It was just that he was so-- spectacular!
Shanwei was no stranger to lust, nor was it always any one particular kind of man he'd be drawn to. Different men were attractive in different ways. Lin Moniao's beauty was heartbreakingly perfect, and there was his cocky smile and quick confidence, and the way he moved, sensuality in the way he even just held a spoon... Mu Liqiang had a solidity to his frame that drew Shen Shanwei's hand until his fingers twitched. His motions were like those of a large cat, powerful and...
And now here they were in a scented room with gauze and silk curtains and the window shutters closed tight against the late-night lights of the street outside, somewhere far from anyone they knew. Tomorrow, they would fight, maybe die--though Shanwei doubted it. He had his new technique, and his body had been made taller and stronger by the mixed blessing of a qi deviation... and Mu Liqiang could more than make up for his lost hearing. Still, they could use an edge.
There was no obvious reason why they should not dual cultivate. The proprietess of this brothel they had booked a room in certainly thought they were cultivating straight to Heaven. Mu Liqiang had meditated this morning, and could lend his healing treasure to help Shen Shanwei do the same. Neither of them was in possession of the White Cloud Technique, but there were still benefits to be had--
Mu Liqiang signed a single word: Why? No honorific, but his manner was respectful enough.
"You know that dual cultivation can go wrong--you remember what happened the first time you and Lin Moniao tried it. We can't risk it. And--" Shen Shanwei gritted his teeth and shook his head, but he might as well be truthful. He yanked up his sleeve and held out his wrist. Mu Liqiang looked at him questioningly.
"Feel it." Mu Liqiang did, taking Shen Shanwei's wrist in his hand and gently pressing two fingers on his racing pulse. "See?" Shanwei continued. "I'm too nervous. It would fail. It is no judgment of your skill, Mu-shidi. The weakness is mine. The only one I could dual cultivate with successfully is my lover--our lover. And he is not here."
Mu Liqiang frowned, but nodded, and made a sign for acquiescence.
Shen Shanwei felt a bitter twist in his chest, but had anything he had said been untrue? No. It was what it was. Perhaps if he and Mu Liqiang had been practicing--
But why would they have? And now it was too late. They were meeting the enemy tomorrow.
"Let's get some sleep."
-
--Aphrodisiacs--
(continuation of the same contextless mission)
Who would have thought? Of course, he should have thought of it. This was a brothel, where no doubt many clients asked for aphrodisiacs specifically. Why shouldn't they have a stock of it? And why wouldn't they have gone for it, the moment someone paid them to drug and incapacitate the cultivators?
Shen Shanwei was only glad that they had managed to smell the opium and had not eaten the rest of their breakfast.
His skin tingled and he felt warm all over, his limbs oddly weak, but Mu Liqiang seemed to be taking it worse still. Shanwei's big shidi was clinging to his waist, his face buried in his chest. Shanwei patted his shoulder comfortingly. Mu-shidi was saying something, but since he was not signing, Shanwei assumed it was not for his benefit.
"It's going to be alright. We'll sneak out the window and find an apothecary. Someone in this town will have antidotes. Probably someone nearby, come to think of it, if this is how they handle things in this good house."
Mu Liqiang lifted his head and looked up at Shen Shanwei with a look of mixed exasperation and pleading. His face was flushed and his hair was out of place, distractingly attractive and rather pitiful. Shanwei was not heartless. He patted his shoulder again. "Why don't you stay here and wait for me to come back with an antidote. Lock the door and um... Lock the door. I won't be long."
Mu Liqiang pulled back to signed the question why, hand shaky and motions large. Shen Shanwei shook his head firmly. "If it wouldn't happen when we are sober, then it would not be right to do it when we are like this."
This seemed to be the right thing to say. Mu Liqiang let go of him, and shuffled back on his knees, putting his hands together in a bow.
"It'll be alright, really, it will," Shen Shanwei assured him, being sure not to look down at Mu-shidi's lap for any sign of what rumor said was an impressive-- He was not looking down. "Just... endure a little longer, shidi. I know you can." Instinctively, his hands moved, and the sign they made was: Have strength. I believe in you.
Aphrodisiacs. Really! If being horny stopped Shanwei from doing what he'd set his mind to, he'd have accomplished very little in his life so far. He wrapped himself up and opened the window shutters out into the street, and looked out for a quiet moment to slip onto the eaves below.
This would be easy.
-
--Seeking comfort--
(The Will of Heaven, Chapter 27, alternate scene: Lin Moniao was gravely injured in the fighting)
"He'll-- He'll make it. He can't-- He'll make it." But Shen-shixiong didn't look like even he fully believed what he was saying. Mu Liqiang's heart was tired and his eyes hurt, and his chest felt empty of emotion. He saw Shen-shixiong trembling with exhaustion, but he had no more words in him, so he simply pulled shixiong into a big hug.
Shen-shixiong came willingly, and they stood like that for a while, leaning on one another. The air still smelled like iron and sweat, though the bodies had been cleaned away, and the cool breeze from the lake had taken some of the dank sorrow with it. It was late, and all that could be done had been done, and they'd both been ordered out of the infirmary to go get some sleep.
"It should have been me if it was anyone," Shen-shixiong muttered, his fingers suddenly clutching Mu Liqiang's back hard enough to hurt. Then he pushed away and wiped his face on his sleeves. "He'll be fine. Duyi knows what she's doing."
"Shixiong," Mu Liqiang said, his voice rough. "I don't want to be alone tonight."
Shen-shixiong paused, wiped his forehead and his mouth, not looking up, and Mu Liqiang was ready to be refused, but then he said, "I don't, either."
Mu Liqiang's single room was only a small simple bedroom with a single desk, cabinet and a window, but it was one of the ones that had been spared from the destruction of the wooden soldiers. Shen-shixiong lit the oil lamp long enough for Mu Liqiang to pour each of them a cup of wine, and then to wash for bed, and then snuffed it out, leaving them in sparse moonlight.
Shen-shixiong wiped off at his under-tunic for a while before giving up and tossing the whole thing aside. His body was narrow, and in the pale light its tan turned to whiteness, marred here and there by the shadow of an ugly bruise.
Mu Liqiang wanted him. He wanted to feel the pulse of something living under his hands. He sat on the bed and held out his arms as Shen-shixiong turned back, beckoning.
Shen-shixiong's face was grim in the moonlight, lips thin as he studied Mu Liqiang; it was as if Shen-shixiong, too, had reached some point of grief and exhaustion beyond words.
Then he crossed the short stretch of floor into Mu Liqiang's arms. Mu Liqiang caught him and held him, skin to skin this time, though they were still chaste enough, with their trousers and Mu Liqiang's loose under-shirt.
Mu Liqiang pressed a kiss on Shen Shanwei's temple, and the man sighed and relaxed, resting his head on his shoulder. "What a tom-cat I am," he murmured. "Just married, and here I am in yet another man's bed. Lin Moniao will never let me hear the end of it."
"Oh." Mu Liqiang laughed, and swallowed. "I don't think Lin-shixiong--" but he couldn't finish. He squeezed Shen Shanwei closer. He was so slight, it was nothing like holding Lin-shixiong, even though Lin-shixiong was shorter.
Shen Shanwei raised his head and looked up at Mu Liqiang, that strange grim calm still in his features. He ran his hand across Mu Liqiang's shoulder and down his arm. "I've only ever gone to bed with someone one time. I could only make love to you with half my heart. I want you to know that. You deserve better than that. But is that what you want?"
"We don't have to," Mu Liqiang whispered. "You could just--tell me nice things. Anything. And stay."
Shen Shanwei nodded, and almost smiled. He pushed a little, and Mu Liqiang went down on the bed, and Shen-shixiong followed. They curled up together in the cover of darkness, pulling up a blanket over both of them.
Story: The Lin Moniao Series
Colors: Blue Caravan #1 (My true love is a man who never existed at all), Chocolate-Dipped Strawberry #6 (beg), Cloudy Gray #8 (lay)
Supplies and Styles: eraser, frame, gesso, nubs; graffiti (October mini-bingo prompt "apple"), life drawing, reimagining, silhouette, triptych
Word Count: 3,096
Rating: teen
Warnings: Allusions to extreme violence, drugs, war, spoilers for Will of Heaven. No sex but plenty of horniness.
Summary:...and the way we do. Five times Shen Shanwei and Mu Liqiang did not have sex.
Note: This is my attempt to see how many tropes I can throw at these two people who are clearly attracted to each other before they will actually do anything about it. None of them are canon to the Lin Moniao Series, but depends on that context. Most are also different continuums.
Note 2: In case you are reading this without context: Lin Moniao, Mu Liqiang and Shen Shanwei are all spiritual cultivators of the Illustrious Qilin Villa sect, and were of roughly equal rank until recently when Lin Moniao was made sect leader. Mu Liqiang and Lin Moniao are lovers; Shen Shanwei also becomes lovers with Lin Moniao after the canon version of the first scene here, when he asks Mu Liqiang's permission for it. Mu Liqiang still affectionately calls Lin Moniao "shixiong" instead of "sect leader" in private. Hope that helps a little...
*
"Anyway, who says you can't be here at the same time as Mu Liqiang? Not me."
- Lin Moniao, in The Will of Heaven, Chapter 8
--Practice--
(The Will of Heaven, Chapter 7, alternate scene: In the armory)
"Begging Shen-shixiong's pardon," Mu Liqiang said, "is he asking this shidi for permission to sleep with the sect leader?"
Shen Shanwei's rigid posture turned inward for a moment and his chin dipped, but he pulled it up again defiantly. "If the sect leader is amenable."
The armory was a mix of light and dark, the high windows providing slanting pools of illumination while leaving other corners hidden. Mu Liqiang had set aside the weapon he had been polishing, and though they were facing each other, he could not quite see Shen-shixiong's expression. He suspected that, considering Shen-shixiong's thin face, he had stood in the shadows on purpose.
Mu Liqiang thought of what he had seen of how Shen-shixiong and Lin-shixiong--Sect Leader Lin--had danced around one another, and of how his beautiful and perfect lover had been made to wait around for his interest to be reciprocated, and how sharp-tongued Shen-shixiong could be; and Mu Liqiang may have liked that sort of thing himself, but he didn't like anyone being mean to his Lin-shixiong. So he said, "This lowly one cannot tell his shixiong or the sect leader no, if it's what they want."
Shen-shixiong made a frustrated sound. "I know that, but this isn't about sect rank... In this, you outrank me. I've heard several brothers tell me you've been by his side every night since you left Kaifeng. So, do you give permission?"
That sent a warm splash through Mu Liqiang's tender heart; and though it was for the thought of Lin Moniao favouring him so openly, it softened him to Shen-shixiong's plight as well. He could tell Shen-shixiong was being brave, in his way.
So, he would say yes, but there would be no harm in playing a little first, would there?
So he sat back down on his stool and held out his hand. "Come closer."
Shen Shanwei hesitated, then stepped up. He looked at the outstretched hand, hesitated again, and then lay his wrist on it. He was expecting to have his qi read? Mu Liqiang closed his fingers around it gently. "Shen-shixiong is sweet, but how will he please a man with as much experience as the sect leader has? Forgive me, but Shen-shixiong does not strike me as someone practiced in the arts of love."
Shen Shanwei tried to snatch his wrist back, but Mu Liqiang held on, not squeezing but not budging, either.
"Since we are speaking so intimately," Shanwei replied in a harsh, clipped tone, "Mu Liqiang's point has already been considered. This shixiong would still like to offer the sect leader what little he can. Will you give me my hand back?"
Mu Liqiang did not. Instead, he pushed Shen Shanwei's sleeve up, tracing the inside of his thin wrist upwards. He could feel a shiver run through the man; and smiled up at him. "This shidi would gladly offer his services to prepare Shen-shixiong for such an unaccustomed task. It really would be my pleasure, and this shidi is sure some time could be made this afternoon. Shen-shixiong just needs to say the word."
For a moment he thought Shen Shanwei might say yes; they stayed in this tableau, the skin warm under his skin, the pulse under his thumb racing.
Then, "Is that your price?" Shen Shanwei snapped, and pulled his arm free. This time, Mu Liqiang let him.
"It was only an offer. This shidi can be most accommodating--"
"Forget it!" Shen Shanwei snapped his sleeve back in place, turned on his heel, and marched out. The air seemed cooler and lighter, all of a sudden, as if a warm blanket had been yanked off him first thing in the morning.
Mu Liqiang sighed, and went back to polishing, a little more uneasy than he had been.
-
--Only one bed--
(The Will of Heaven, Chapter 14-15, alternate scene: If Mu Liqiang had accompanied Shen Shanwei and Huang Tianlin to Anqing)
Shen Shanwei rubbed the bridge of his nose. The fun part of being drunk was over, and he was starting to feel smudgy and gross. "Huang-qianbei is our senior. If he sleeps in the stables, then so will we."
The innkeeper who had been summoned from his bed to attend to the cultivators of the Illustrious Qilin Villa raised his hands in objection: No, no, they couldn't put the gentlemen in the stables! He would go wake up his wife and daughter and offer their bed, so that there would be room enough for everyone Now both Shen Shanwei and Mu Liqiang raised their voice to protest: Absolutely not, what kind of distinction would it give a gentleman to drive a family from bed?
It was only when Huang Tianlin put his hands up that all of them quieted down. "Huang-qianbei will sleep where he damn well likes," he groused, "and it'll be the stables if I want it to be the stables! Horses are better company than noisy drunk youths!" And so Huang-qianbei marched out into the night, leaving the noisy drunk youths to take the last, cramped room left at this small roadside inn outside Anqing's gates.
It was only until dawn, after all, and then the gates would open, and they could carry out their mission in the city, combining espionage with wedding planning.
A single oil lamp lit the room. The late hour weighed on Shen Shanwei's bones; he really had grown complacent, staying at the Villa for so long, with its daily routines, early mornings, early nights, and regular meals. He washed as meticulously as he could, stripped to his under-shirt and trousers, and crawled into the bed under a pile of generous blankets, to watch blearily as Mu Liqiang followed suit.
Though not very big, the bed was made for two; on the other hand, one of the two was Mu Liqiang; so Shen Shanwei had his doubts. As it happened, though, once the big youth had politely asked permission, crawled in and curled on his side, there seemed to be just enough space for both of them to lie without touching one another. Shen Shanwei let out a relieved sigh and rested his head against the hard-packed straw pillow.
He had been very meticulous about where to keep his eyes while Mu Liqiang shed his outer robes. Were he pressed, he might admit he was not entirely unaware that he was getting into bed with his lover's lover. Pressed even more, he might concede the point that Mu Liqiang was also-- Just, so-- But, no, this was no different from lying in bed with shijie, chaste as a brother. Mu Liqiang was not that different from her, either. Bigger, yes, but he too had that scent of Qilin Villa--the incense they burned at the services, the smell of the lake air--and of hard work. And now also some horse, and a touch of wine underneath.
Shen Shanwei closed his eyes and emptied his mind, and let exhaustion pull him into sleep.
-
Mu Liqiang lay awake longer, though he was tired too; tiredness prickled under his skin and paradoxically wouldn't let him sleep, and so he listened for Shen-shixiong's breath as it grew slow and steady, somnolent.
He wanted to reach out and touch the loose hair on the pillow next to his. He'd like to shift closer and press a kiss on that narrow exposed neck.
Mu Liqiang was very much in love with Lin Moniao and his heart could not be more content, but he also knew himself well enough to know he was hopelessly hot-blooded and amorous. He had had the idle thought of seducing Shen-shixiong on occasion-- and Lin-shixiong had explicitly given permission... and if Mu Liqiang and Shen Shanwei could find accord, he knew how well it would please Lin-shixiong, too.
But Shen-shixiong had barely even looked at him as he'd undressed, and had shown no sign of any interest or even a bashfulness that might be a sign of hope. Had Mu Liqiang imagined the times before when he'd thought Shen-shixiong had looked at him with desire? That cold shoulder had been the opposite of encouragement. It seemed Mu Liqiang's idle desire was not returned.
He sighed and let the thought go, letting the steady breathing of the body next to him lull him into a short sleep.
-
--Dual cultivation--
(Contextless non-canon or possibly post-canon mission; some spoilers for the end of Will of Heaven)
Shen Shanwei blew out a breath, trying to steady his nerves and respond calmly. "This shixiong understands. Shidi's suggestion is reasonable. Shixiong is not offended, or trying to cast aspersions on shidi's aptitude. But it would not work."
Mu Liqiang kept his eyes demurely down. Shen Shanwei glanced at him and had to press his lips tightly together to contain an intake of breath. Damn him, now he was thinking about it. He'd probably be thinking about it all night.
It was one thing to lie next to Mu Liqiang when they were both tired and needed to get up early in the morning, and no-one had so much as hinted at the possibility of--lying together. Shen Shanwei really had no designs on Mu Liqiang. It was just that he was so-- spectacular!
Shanwei was no stranger to lust, nor was it always any one particular kind of man he'd be drawn to. Different men were attractive in different ways. Lin Moniao's beauty was heartbreakingly perfect, and there was his cocky smile and quick confidence, and the way he moved, sensuality in the way he even just held a spoon... Mu Liqiang had a solidity to his frame that drew Shen Shanwei's hand until his fingers twitched. His motions were like those of a large cat, powerful and...
And now here they were in a scented room with gauze and silk curtains and the window shutters closed tight against the late-night lights of the street outside, somewhere far from anyone they knew. Tomorrow, they would fight, maybe die--though Shanwei doubted it. He had his new technique, and his body had been made taller and stronger by the mixed blessing of a qi deviation... and Mu Liqiang could more than make up for his lost hearing. Still, they could use an edge.
There was no obvious reason why they should not dual cultivate. The proprietess of this brothel they had booked a room in certainly thought they were cultivating straight to Heaven. Mu Liqiang had meditated this morning, and could lend his healing treasure to help Shen Shanwei do the same. Neither of them was in possession of the White Cloud Technique, but there were still benefits to be had--
Mu Liqiang signed a single word: Why? No honorific, but his manner was respectful enough.
"You know that dual cultivation can go wrong--you remember what happened the first time you and Lin Moniao tried it. We can't risk it. And--" Shen Shanwei gritted his teeth and shook his head, but he might as well be truthful. He yanked up his sleeve and held out his wrist. Mu Liqiang looked at him questioningly.
"Feel it." Mu Liqiang did, taking Shen Shanwei's wrist in his hand and gently pressing two fingers on his racing pulse. "See?" Shanwei continued. "I'm too nervous. It would fail. It is no judgment of your skill, Mu-shidi. The weakness is mine. The only one I could dual cultivate with successfully is my lover--our lover. And he is not here."
Mu Liqiang frowned, but nodded, and made a sign for acquiescence.
Shen Shanwei felt a bitter twist in his chest, but had anything he had said been untrue? No. It was what it was. Perhaps if he and Mu Liqiang had been practicing--
But why would they have? And now it was too late. They were meeting the enemy tomorrow.
"Let's get some sleep."
-
--Aphrodisiacs--
(continuation of the same contextless mission)
Who would have thought? Of course, he should have thought of it. This was a brothel, where no doubt many clients asked for aphrodisiacs specifically. Why shouldn't they have a stock of it? And why wouldn't they have gone for it, the moment someone paid them to drug and incapacitate the cultivators?
Shen Shanwei was only glad that they had managed to smell the opium and had not eaten the rest of their breakfast.
His skin tingled and he felt warm all over, his limbs oddly weak, but Mu Liqiang seemed to be taking it worse still. Shanwei's big shidi was clinging to his waist, his face buried in his chest. Shanwei patted his shoulder comfortingly. Mu-shidi was saying something, but since he was not signing, Shanwei assumed it was not for his benefit.
"It's going to be alright. We'll sneak out the window and find an apothecary. Someone in this town will have antidotes. Probably someone nearby, come to think of it, if this is how they handle things in this good house."
Mu Liqiang lifted his head and looked up at Shen Shanwei with a look of mixed exasperation and pleading. His face was flushed and his hair was out of place, distractingly attractive and rather pitiful. Shanwei was not heartless. He patted his shoulder again. "Why don't you stay here and wait for me to come back with an antidote. Lock the door and um... Lock the door. I won't be long."
Mu Liqiang pulled back to signed the question why, hand shaky and motions large. Shen Shanwei shook his head firmly. "If it wouldn't happen when we are sober, then it would not be right to do it when we are like this."
This seemed to be the right thing to say. Mu Liqiang let go of him, and shuffled back on his knees, putting his hands together in a bow.
"It'll be alright, really, it will," Shen Shanwei assured him, being sure not to look down at Mu-shidi's lap for any sign of what rumor said was an impressive-- He was not looking down. "Just... endure a little longer, shidi. I know you can." Instinctively, his hands moved, and the sign they made was: Have strength. I believe in you.
Aphrodisiacs. Really! If being horny stopped Shanwei from doing what he'd set his mind to, he'd have accomplished very little in his life so far. He wrapped himself up and opened the window shutters out into the street, and looked out for a quiet moment to slip onto the eaves below.
This would be easy.
-
--Seeking comfort--
(The Will of Heaven, Chapter 27, alternate scene: Lin Moniao was gravely injured in the fighting)
"He'll-- He'll make it. He can't-- He'll make it." But Shen-shixiong didn't look like even he fully believed what he was saying. Mu Liqiang's heart was tired and his eyes hurt, and his chest felt empty of emotion. He saw Shen-shixiong trembling with exhaustion, but he had no more words in him, so he simply pulled shixiong into a big hug.
Shen-shixiong came willingly, and they stood like that for a while, leaning on one another. The air still smelled like iron and sweat, though the bodies had been cleaned away, and the cool breeze from the lake had taken some of the dank sorrow with it. It was late, and all that could be done had been done, and they'd both been ordered out of the infirmary to go get some sleep.
"It should have been me if it was anyone," Shen-shixiong muttered, his fingers suddenly clutching Mu Liqiang's back hard enough to hurt. Then he pushed away and wiped his face on his sleeves. "He'll be fine. Duyi knows what she's doing."
"Shixiong," Mu Liqiang said, his voice rough. "I don't want to be alone tonight."
Shen-shixiong paused, wiped his forehead and his mouth, not looking up, and Mu Liqiang was ready to be refused, but then he said, "I don't, either."
Mu Liqiang's single room was only a small simple bedroom with a single desk, cabinet and a window, but it was one of the ones that had been spared from the destruction of the wooden soldiers. Shen-shixiong lit the oil lamp long enough for Mu Liqiang to pour each of them a cup of wine, and then to wash for bed, and then snuffed it out, leaving them in sparse moonlight.
Shen-shixiong wiped off at his under-tunic for a while before giving up and tossing the whole thing aside. His body was narrow, and in the pale light its tan turned to whiteness, marred here and there by the shadow of an ugly bruise.
Mu Liqiang wanted him. He wanted to feel the pulse of something living under his hands. He sat on the bed and held out his arms as Shen-shixiong turned back, beckoning.
Shen-shixiong's face was grim in the moonlight, lips thin as he studied Mu Liqiang; it was as if Shen-shixiong, too, had reached some point of grief and exhaustion beyond words.
Then he crossed the short stretch of floor into Mu Liqiang's arms. Mu Liqiang caught him and held him, skin to skin this time, though they were still chaste enough, with their trousers and Mu Liqiang's loose under-shirt.
Mu Liqiang pressed a kiss on Shen Shanwei's temple, and the man sighed and relaxed, resting his head on his shoulder. "What a tom-cat I am," he murmured. "Just married, and here I am in yet another man's bed. Lin Moniao will never let me hear the end of it."
"Oh." Mu Liqiang laughed, and swallowed. "I don't think Lin-shixiong--" but he couldn't finish. He squeezed Shen Shanwei closer. He was so slight, it was nothing like holding Lin-shixiong, even though Lin-shixiong was shorter.
Shen Shanwei raised his head and looked up at Mu Liqiang, that strange grim calm still in his features. He ran his hand across Mu Liqiang's shoulder and down his arm. "I've only ever gone to bed with someone one time. I could only make love to you with half my heart. I want you to know that. You deserve better than that. But is that what you want?"
"We don't have to," Mu Liqiang whispered. "You could just--tell me nice things. Anything. And stay."
Shen Shanwei nodded, and almost smiled. He pushed a little, and Mu Liqiang went down on the bed, and Shen-shixiong followed. They curled up together in the cover of darkness, pulling up a blanket over both of them.