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rainbowfic2012-01-09 10:45 am
sarcasticsra) wrote in rainbowfic2012-01-09 10:45 am
Olive Drab, 27 + eraser + seed beads + stain.
Author: Sara
Colors: Olive Drab, 27. "I am not so think as you drunk I am."
Supply: Eraser (Pan Torey AU), Seed Beads, Stain ("The worst thing about Europe is that you can't go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee.")
Word Count: 2,800
Rating: PG-13
Story: Polyfaceted; title of this is Truth or Dare.
Summary: Eileen and Sam get drunk together.
Notes: Takes place in an alternate January 2010. I don't. These two, you guys. They are fairly ridiculous, and I love them for it.
“So the kids are at Mrs. Corlioni’s for the night, Torey is stuck in some kind of perpetual business meeting hell, and I have,” Sam declared, walking into the living room, “an excellent bottle of bourbon and two glasses. What do you say to that?”
Eileen glanced up from where she was sitting and grinned. “I say that I will take you up on that invitation.”
He grinned back and sat next to her on the couch, setting down the glasses and pouring some bourbon in each. Eileen picked up her glass as he set down the bottle, and he picked up his own glass. They smirked at each other and clinked glasses.
“Cheers,” he said, and took a drink. She did the same.
“So what’s the occasion?”
“Do we need an occasion to drink?”
She looked amused. “Guess not. Though without Torey here, we’ll miss out on his oversharing.”
“True,” he said. “That is fun, isn’t it?”
“When else are we going to hear how much we turn him on and how hot he thinks his siblings’ partners are?”
He laughed. “I’m just surprised he didn’t try to talk us into a threesome.”
“That will probably be the next thing,” she said dryly.
Sam snorted, taking another drink. “I still love that he does that.”
“It’s entertaining,” she agreed. “So, Sam, we have bourbon. What should we talk about?”
“Good question,” he said, considering it for a moment. “We could play a game?”
Eileen laughed. “What kind of game?”
“Truth or dare!”
“You are not remotely drunk enough to make that suggestion.”
“Who says I have to be drunk to make that suggestion?” he asked, grinning rakishly.
“Fine, but you’re going first,” she declared, finishing off her glass. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” he said instantly, grinning impossibly wider.
“You’re so predictable,” she said as she poured herself more bourbon. “Fine. I dare you to call Torey and sing a few lines of some ridiculously sappy love song.”
Sam groaned. “What song?”
“Go get your laptop. We’ll find something.”
He drained his glass and set it down, heading upstairs to get his computer. By the time he got back, he noticed Eileen had refilled his glass. “Do your worst,” he said, handing her the computer.
“Oh, I will,” she said, grinning. He picked up his glass and quickly knocked it back.
He watched as Eileen turned on his computer and brought up Firefox, typing ‘sappy love songs’ into the Google search box. “Oh, here’s something,” she said. “‘I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’ by Aerosmith. That’s perfect.” She brought up a page with the lyrics and pointed to a section. “That’s the bit you have to sing.”
“What if I get his voicemail? Just leave it in a message?”
“That’ll be a nice surprise for him.”
“Here goes,” he said, finding Torey’s name in his contacts list. It did go to his voicemail, so he started singing softly, “I just wanna hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine, and stay here in this moment, for all the rest of time.” He barely kept a straight face, bursting into laughter once he finished. Eileen was already laughing and had been throughout. “Blame Eileen for that, Torey,” he added to the voicemail, then hung up.
Eileen wiped her eyes. “God, I wish I could see his face when he listens to that.”
Sam snickered as he imagined that. “It’ll definitely be unexpected,” he said, pouring himself another drink and pointing at her. “Your turn!”
She grinned, holding out her glass, and he topped her off. “My turn indeed,” she said before taking a sip.
“Truth or dare.”
“Hm, I think I’ll go with…dare.”
“Excellent. Let’s see,” he said, taking a drink as he considered what to give her as a dare. She sipped from her own glass, watching him. “Oh, I know!” He grinned. “You get to call Johnny and tell him all about how attractive you think he is.”
Eileen snorted into her glass. “Where’s my phone?”
“Right here,” he said, picking it up off the side table and handing it to her.
She snickered to herself as she found Johnny’s number. “It’s his voicemail,” she said after a moment, covering the receiver with her hand. “Hi, Johnny, it’s Eileen. I just wanted to call and tell you that I think you’re extremely attractive,” she said, biting her lip to obviously keep from laughing, and he started snickering, “and well-muscled, and, well, it’s very appealing—I’ve always thought so. That’s all! Have a nice day.” She hung up and did start laughing that time, and he laughed harder. Once she regained her composure, she took a long drink, then indicated him with her glass. “Your turn again!”
“So it is,” he said, and grinned. “This time, I’m picking truth.”
“Let’s see,” she said, draining her glass and looking thoughtful. “What’s the dirtiest dream you’ve ever had?”
He smirked. “Well,” he said, drawing out the word, “there was this one time I had this very strange dream involving two versions of Torey…”
She laughed. “Keep going.”
“How much detail do you want?” he asked her, grinning. He finished off his own glass and reached for the bottle, pouring them each another. “It was pretty hot.”
“Oh, I can imagine,” she said, smirking. “Two versions of Torey…there are a lot of possibilities.”
“There really are.” He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining. “That dream, I swear to god, I haven’t woken up that hard in a long time.”
Eileen laughed. “Was he at least around to help you out?”
“That morning, thankfully, yes.” He smirked evilly, taking a drink from his glass. “But you agree, don’t you? The idea of two Toreys is hot.”
“Oh, I definitely agree with that,” she said, smirking just as evilly.
They clinked glasses before each taking another drink. “Okay, your turn again. Truth or dare.”
“I’ll try a truth too,” she decided. “That sentence sounded weird.”
He snickered into his glass. “Probably because we’ve demolished almost a fifth of bourbon?”
“We should eat!” she declared, standing too suddenly. It made him dizzy, and he wasn’t the one who actually stood up. He figured, by the way she grabbed onto the couch suddenly, that it’d made her a little dizzy too. It was impressive that she managed not to spill her drink, though. “Come on. Let’s go find food.”
He nodded and stood, carefully following her into the kitchen. Setting his glass down on the island, next to where she’d put hers—now empty, he noticed—he then leaned against it. “What are we looking for?”
“Something to eat,” she said, opening the refrigerator. “I already told you.”
“No, I know that, but what?”
“I’ll find something,” she said. “So the bottle’s almost gone?”
“Uh-huh,” he confirmed. “There’s probably more alcohol around here somewhere.”
“Torey’s Italian,” Eileen said wryly. “Of course there’s more alcohol around here somewhere.”
“You find food,” he said. “I’ll find more booze.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Sam grinned and downed the last of his glass, heading for the liquor cabinet. Upon finding it locked, he frowned, trying to remember where the key was kept. “Where’s the key?” he called to Eileen.
“In here!” she called back.
He dutifully returned to the kitchen. “I forgot it was locked.”
She started laughing. “That’s because you’re kinda drunk.”
“I am so not the only one.”
“I’m making us sandwiches,” she said. “Turkey and provolone with lettuce and tomato.”
“And mayo?”
“And mayo,” she agreed.
“What about bacon?”
“I’m thinking neither of us should be around bacon grease right now.”
“Yeah, good point,” he said. “Which drawer?”
“Right there.” She pointed.
Sam opened the drawer and dug out the key, then headed back toward to the liquor cabinet. When it wouldn’t fit in the lock, he frowned and glanced around, slowly realizing he probably had the key to the wine cabinet instead. Shrugging, he tried the key in that lock next—sure enough, it fit. He pulled out a bottle of wine and decided that would work, then returned to the kitchen. “I found wine.”
Eileen blinked. “From the liquor cabinet?”
“The wine one,” he said. “Wrong key.”
“Huh. Well, sounds good. Get the glasses?”
“Getting them.”
He set two on the island and opened the wine, pouring them each a glass. “Good wine,” he said, after taking a sip.
“You’re drunk enough that it could be discount wine and you’d still say that,” she replied, picking up her own glass and taking a drink.
“Has discount wine ever been inside this house?”
“…no,” she said.
“That’s your next dare. Next time you pick it,” he declared. “We’re finding some convenience store and getting a bottle of ten dollar wine.”
She started laughing hard. “God, I just imagined the look of horror on Torey’s face…”
“Even worse if we took the subway to get there,” he said, joining her laughter.
“Stop making me laugh,” she said, grinning, and lightly shoved at him. “I’m trying to make sandwiches.”
“Okay, okay, make the sandwiches,” he said, grinning back. “I still owe you a truth, don’t I?”
“You do.”
“Truth, truth, truth,” he muttered, thinking. “Truth. Truth is starting to not sound like a word.”
She laughed again. “Stop it.”
“Sorry.” He smirked. “Okay, I know. What’s someplace you’ve always wanted to try having sex but haven’t gotten around to yet?”
“Hmm,” she said, spreading mayonnaise on a slice of bread. The cheese and turkey followed, and she turned her focus to the tomato in front of her. “Oh, got it. An elevator.” She grinned as she cut into the tomato, adding a surprisingly-perfect slice to the sandwich before topping it with lettuce and another slice of bread. Sam was impressed. “Here, you eat this.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said, grinning.
After she made up her own sandwich, he helped her put away the ingredients, and they took their plates, glasses, and the bottle of wine back into the living room, managing to make it without incident.
“So why an elevator?”
“Why not?” She smirked. “You only have so long, you have to try to not get caught…it’s exciting.” She gave him an appraising look. “What’s your place?”
“Did you just pick truth for me?”
“I did.”
He shook his head and bit into his sandwich. After he swallowed, he said, “A moving vehicle.”
Eileen snorted. “That hasn’t happened yet?”
“Nope.”
“I’ll have to talk to Torey about that,” she said, and he started laughing.
“Oh, god, please let me be in the room when you do.”
“We’ll see.”
He kept chuckling, taking a drink from his wine glass. “Well, if that was my turn, it’s yours again.”
“Dare.”
“I already told you what your dare is,” he said.
“After we finish eating.”
“This is a good sandwich,” he said, after another bite.
“Thank you.”
“Seriously, you’re even great at making things when you’re drunk.”
“I’m talented,” she deadpanned.
It didn’t last, because before long, they both broke into laughter.
“Yes,” he said, grinning widely. “Yes, you are.”
“As long as you acknowledge it,” she said, grinning back.
“How could I not?”
Once they finished their sandwiches, Eileen said, “Call a car.”
He picked up his phone. “You have no idea how ridiculous I still feel every time I do this,” he said, finding the number for the car company and hitting call.
“Says the guy who didn’t even own a car until four years ago,” she teased.
He smirked and shrugged. “Yeah, we need a car at the residence. Uh-huh. Sure, that’s fine. Cool.” He hung up. “It’ll be here in ten minutes.”
“We’re going to need shoes.”
Sam starting laughing. “Probably.”
They found their shoes—and coats!—and before long, the ten minutes had passed. They left the house and climbed into the waiting car out front, and Eileen told the driver, “Take us to the nearest convenience store.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, without even blinking.
“See, I would’ve blinked at that,” he murmured to Eileen, who started giggling. “But I guess two random drunk people calling a car service and then demanding to go to a convenience store somehow doesn’t rank on the weirdness scale for this guy.”
“He’s a professional,” she said, evidently aiming for sober and failing miserably when she couldn’t stop laughing.
Fifteen minutes later, the car slowed to a stop in front of a 24-hour convenience store. “Here you are, sir, ma’am.”
“Thank you! Just wait here,” Eileen said. “We’ll only be a minute.”
They hopped out of the car and headed inside. Sam zeroed in on the wine. “Found it!”
“That was fast. Oh my god, it’s on sale for 8.99.”
“We have to leave the big orange price sticker on it,” he told her.
“Deal.”
They laughed, and Sam headed for the checkout counter. Eileen wandered away, and he grinned at the clerk. “Hello,” he said. “We’re here to help fill your random drunk people quota for the evening.”
The clerk smiled. “Good,” he said lightly. “I was behind on that.”
Sam snickered. “Eileen, what happened to you?” he called.
“I’m right here.” She was heading back toward him, carrying a frozen pizza in her hands. “I wanted to get this.”
“I’m stunned,” he said. “Stunned and so proud.”
“Shut up, I haven’t had one since culinary school.”
They quickly checked out and headed back to the car. “Back to the house, Jeeves!” Sam announced, and Eileen gasped with laughter, elbowing him in the ribs.
“His name is not Jeeves,” she said.
“Ow, you have sharp elbows.”
She patted his chest. “Is that better?”
“If I were remotely straight, you might be turning me on.”
“Good thing you’re not remotely straight then, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I thought so.” He smirked, opening the wine and taking a long swig. “Oh, god, this stuff is disgusting.” He handed her the bottle and she took a drink from it as well, making a face.
“It really, really is.” She took another drink and passed it back.
Once they got back to the house—both he and Eileen taking care to remember to tip the driver—Eileen headed straight for the kitchen. “I’m making this!”
“You do that!” he called after her, chuckling and heading for the living room, terrible bottle of wine in hand. “You don’t even deserve a proper glass,” he told it, and took another drink.
“Who are you talking to in there?” Eileen called.
“The wine!”
She reappeared in the living room. “Should I even ask why?”
“I was just telling it that it didn’t deserve a proper glass.”
“Oh,” she said, and looked like she was considering it. “That’s true.”
“Exactly.”
“The oven is preheating.”
“Your oven is going to rebel,” he said, grinning. “Once you put that pizza in it, it’s just going to hate you forever.”
“Stop personifying my appliances,” she said, stealing the bottle of wine from him and taking a long drink.
“Why? It’s fun.”
“Because it’s silly,” she said, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. He broke into laughter.
“Okay.”
She bit her lip to keep from laughing herself and handed back the bottle. “It’s your turn again, isn’t it?”
“My turn?” He got it a second later. “Oh, yeah, it’s my turn. Um. Truth.”
“I notice you stopped picking dares.”
“I’m so much drunker now,” he said wisely. “Which means there is so much more you could get me to do.”
She snickered. “Coward.”
“Maybe,” he said. “I do fear you.”
“Oh, that’s not cowardice,” she said, waving that away. “That’s being smart.”
He grinned. “What’s your question?”
“If you had to have a threesome and one of the other participants had to be female, who would you pick?”
“...I hate you,” he said, thinking hard and taking another drink from the bottle of wine. “Didn’t we just get done establishing how thoroughly gay I am?”
“Why do you think I asked you?” she asked, smirking. “You’re roughly as gay as Johnny. That’s kind of impressive.”
“Is it a copout if I say you?” he asked, giving her a faux-leer.
“No, but it makes you a suck up,” she informed him, grinning, as she stole back the wine. “That’s okay, though. The judges will accept that answer.”
Sam laughed. “Oh, they will, huh? And who exactly are the judges?”
“Mostly me,” she admitted, laughing as well.
“I should have guessed.”
There was a sudden shrill beeping sound from the kitchen. “Oven’s ready,” she declared, handing him the wine and standing. “I’ll be back.”
“I can’t believe you’re making a frozen pizza,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than I do in this moment.”
“Shut up!”
Sam laughed to himself, taking another drink from the bottle. This was the life.
Colors: Olive Drab, 27. "I am not so think as you drunk I am."
Supply: Eraser (Pan Torey AU), Seed Beads, Stain ("The worst thing about Europe is that you can't go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee.")
Word Count: 2,800
Rating: PG-13
Story: Polyfaceted; title of this is Truth or Dare.
Summary: Eileen and Sam get drunk together.
Notes: Takes place in an alternate January 2010. I don't. These two, you guys. They are fairly ridiculous, and I love them for it.
“So the kids are at Mrs. Corlioni’s for the night, Torey is stuck in some kind of perpetual business meeting hell, and I have,” Sam declared, walking into the living room, “an excellent bottle of bourbon and two glasses. What do you say to that?”
Eileen glanced up from where she was sitting and grinned. “I say that I will take you up on that invitation.”
He grinned back and sat next to her on the couch, setting down the glasses and pouring some bourbon in each. Eileen picked up her glass as he set down the bottle, and he picked up his own glass. They smirked at each other and clinked glasses.
“Cheers,” he said, and took a drink. She did the same.
“So what’s the occasion?”
“Do we need an occasion to drink?”
She looked amused. “Guess not. Though without Torey here, we’ll miss out on his oversharing.”
“True,” he said. “That is fun, isn’t it?”
“When else are we going to hear how much we turn him on and how hot he thinks his siblings’ partners are?”
He laughed. “I’m just surprised he didn’t try to talk us into a threesome.”
“That will probably be the next thing,” she said dryly.
Sam snorted, taking another drink. “I still love that he does that.”
“It’s entertaining,” she agreed. “So, Sam, we have bourbon. What should we talk about?”
“Good question,” he said, considering it for a moment. “We could play a game?”
Eileen laughed. “What kind of game?”
“Truth or dare!”
“You are not remotely drunk enough to make that suggestion.”
“Who says I have to be drunk to make that suggestion?” he asked, grinning rakishly.
“Fine, but you’re going first,” she declared, finishing off her glass. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” he said instantly, grinning impossibly wider.
“You’re so predictable,” she said as she poured herself more bourbon. “Fine. I dare you to call Torey and sing a few lines of some ridiculously sappy love song.”
Sam groaned. “What song?”
“Go get your laptop. We’ll find something.”
He drained his glass and set it down, heading upstairs to get his computer. By the time he got back, he noticed Eileen had refilled his glass. “Do your worst,” he said, handing her the computer.
“Oh, I will,” she said, grinning. He picked up his glass and quickly knocked it back.
He watched as Eileen turned on his computer and brought up Firefox, typing ‘sappy love songs’ into the Google search box. “Oh, here’s something,” she said. “‘I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’ by Aerosmith. That’s perfect.” She brought up a page with the lyrics and pointed to a section. “That’s the bit you have to sing.”
“What if I get his voicemail? Just leave it in a message?”
“That’ll be a nice surprise for him.”
“Here goes,” he said, finding Torey’s name in his contacts list. It did go to his voicemail, so he started singing softly, “I just wanna hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine, and stay here in this moment, for all the rest of time.” He barely kept a straight face, bursting into laughter once he finished. Eileen was already laughing and had been throughout. “Blame Eileen for that, Torey,” he added to the voicemail, then hung up.
Eileen wiped her eyes. “God, I wish I could see his face when he listens to that.”
Sam snickered as he imagined that. “It’ll definitely be unexpected,” he said, pouring himself another drink and pointing at her. “Your turn!”
She grinned, holding out her glass, and he topped her off. “My turn indeed,” she said before taking a sip.
“Truth or dare.”
“Hm, I think I’ll go with…dare.”
“Excellent. Let’s see,” he said, taking a drink as he considered what to give her as a dare. She sipped from her own glass, watching him. “Oh, I know!” He grinned. “You get to call Johnny and tell him all about how attractive you think he is.”
Eileen snorted into her glass. “Where’s my phone?”
“Right here,” he said, picking it up off the side table and handing it to her.
She snickered to herself as she found Johnny’s number. “It’s his voicemail,” she said after a moment, covering the receiver with her hand. “Hi, Johnny, it’s Eileen. I just wanted to call and tell you that I think you’re extremely attractive,” she said, biting her lip to obviously keep from laughing, and he started snickering, “and well-muscled, and, well, it’s very appealing—I’ve always thought so. That’s all! Have a nice day.” She hung up and did start laughing that time, and he laughed harder. Once she regained her composure, she took a long drink, then indicated him with her glass. “Your turn again!”
“So it is,” he said, and grinned. “This time, I’m picking truth.”
“Let’s see,” she said, draining her glass and looking thoughtful. “What’s the dirtiest dream you’ve ever had?”
He smirked. “Well,” he said, drawing out the word, “there was this one time I had this very strange dream involving two versions of Torey…”
She laughed. “Keep going.”
“How much detail do you want?” he asked her, grinning. He finished off his own glass and reached for the bottle, pouring them each another. “It was pretty hot.”
“Oh, I can imagine,” she said, smirking. “Two versions of Torey…there are a lot of possibilities.”
“There really are.” He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining. “That dream, I swear to god, I haven’t woken up that hard in a long time.”
Eileen laughed. “Was he at least around to help you out?”
“That morning, thankfully, yes.” He smirked evilly, taking a drink from his glass. “But you agree, don’t you? The idea of two Toreys is hot.”
“Oh, I definitely agree with that,” she said, smirking just as evilly.
They clinked glasses before each taking another drink. “Okay, your turn again. Truth or dare.”
“I’ll try a truth too,” she decided. “That sentence sounded weird.”
He snickered into his glass. “Probably because we’ve demolished almost a fifth of bourbon?”
“We should eat!” she declared, standing too suddenly. It made him dizzy, and he wasn’t the one who actually stood up. He figured, by the way she grabbed onto the couch suddenly, that it’d made her a little dizzy too. It was impressive that she managed not to spill her drink, though. “Come on. Let’s go find food.”
He nodded and stood, carefully following her into the kitchen. Setting his glass down on the island, next to where she’d put hers—now empty, he noticed—he then leaned against it. “What are we looking for?”
“Something to eat,” she said, opening the refrigerator. “I already told you.”
“No, I know that, but what?”
“I’ll find something,” she said. “So the bottle’s almost gone?”
“Uh-huh,” he confirmed. “There’s probably more alcohol around here somewhere.”
“Torey’s Italian,” Eileen said wryly. “Of course there’s more alcohol around here somewhere.”
“You find food,” he said. “I’ll find more booze.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Sam grinned and downed the last of his glass, heading for the liquor cabinet. Upon finding it locked, he frowned, trying to remember where the key was kept. “Where’s the key?” he called to Eileen.
“In here!” she called back.
He dutifully returned to the kitchen. “I forgot it was locked.”
She started laughing. “That’s because you’re kinda drunk.”
“I am so not the only one.”
“I’m making us sandwiches,” she said. “Turkey and provolone with lettuce and tomato.”
“And mayo?”
“And mayo,” she agreed.
“What about bacon?”
“I’m thinking neither of us should be around bacon grease right now.”
“Yeah, good point,” he said. “Which drawer?”
“Right there.” She pointed.
Sam opened the drawer and dug out the key, then headed back toward to the liquor cabinet. When it wouldn’t fit in the lock, he frowned and glanced around, slowly realizing he probably had the key to the wine cabinet instead. Shrugging, he tried the key in that lock next—sure enough, it fit. He pulled out a bottle of wine and decided that would work, then returned to the kitchen. “I found wine.”
Eileen blinked. “From the liquor cabinet?”
“The wine one,” he said. “Wrong key.”
“Huh. Well, sounds good. Get the glasses?”
“Getting them.”
He set two on the island and opened the wine, pouring them each a glass. “Good wine,” he said, after taking a sip.
“You’re drunk enough that it could be discount wine and you’d still say that,” she replied, picking up her own glass and taking a drink.
“Has discount wine ever been inside this house?”
“…no,” she said.
“That’s your next dare. Next time you pick it,” he declared. “We’re finding some convenience store and getting a bottle of ten dollar wine.”
She started laughing hard. “God, I just imagined the look of horror on Torey’s face…”
“Even worse if we took the subway to get there,” he said, joining her laughter.
“Stop making me laugh,” she said, grinning, and lightly shoved at him. “I’m trying to make sandwiches.”
“Okay, okay, make the sandwiches,” he said, grinning back. “I still owe you a truth, don’t I?”
“You do.”
“Truth, truth, truth,” he muttered, thinking. “Truth. Truth is starting to not sound like a word.”
She laughed again. “Stop it.”
“Sorry.” He smirked. “Okay, I know. What’s someplace you’ve always wanted to try having sex but haven’t gotten around to yet?”
“Hmm,” she said, spreading mayonnaise on a slice of bread. The cheese and turkey followed, and she turned her focus to the tomato in front of her. “Oh, got it. An elevator.” She grinned as she cut into the tomato, adding a surprisingly-perfect slice to the sandwich before topping it with lettuce and another slice of bread. Sam was impressed. “Here, you eat this.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said, grinning.
After she made up her own sandwich, he helped her put away the ingredients, and they took their plates, glasses, and the bottle of wine back into the living room, managing to make it without incident.
“So why an elevator?”
“Why not?” She smirked. “You only have so long, you have to try to not get caught…it’s exciting.” She gave him an appraising look. “What’s your place?”
“Did you just pick truth for me?”
“I did.”
He shook his head and bit into his sandwich. After he swallowed, he said, “A moving vehicle.”
Eileen snorted. “That hasn’t happened yet?”
“Nope.”
“I’ll have to talk to Torey about that,” she said, and he started laughing.
“Oh, god, please let me be in the room when you do.”
“We’ll see.”
He kept chuckling, taking a drink from his wine glass. “Well, if that was my turn, it’s yours again.”
“Dare.”
“I already told you what your dare is,” he said.
“After we finish eating.”
“This is a good sandwich,” he said, after another bite.
“Thank you.”
“Seriously, you’re even great at making things when you’re drunk.”
“I’m talented,” she deadpanned.
It didn’t last, because before long, they both broke into laughter.
“Yes,” he said, grinning widely. “Yes, you are.”
“As long as you acknowledge it,” she said, grinning back.
“How could I not?”
Once they finished their sandwiches, Eileen said, “Call a car.”
He picked up his phone. “You have no idea how ridiculous I still feel every time I do this,” he said, finding the number for the car company and hitting call.
“Says the guy who didn’t even own a car until four years ago,” she teased.
He smirked and shrugged. “Yeah, we need a car at the residence. Uh-huh. Sure, that’s fine. Cool.” He hung up. “It’ll be here in ten minutes.”
“We’re going to need shoes.”
Sam starting laughing. “Probably.”
They found their shoes—and coats!—and before long, the ten minutes had passed. They left the house and climbed into the waiting car out front, and Eileen told the driver, “Take us to the nearest convenience store.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, without even blinking.
“See, I would’ve blinked at that,” he murmured to Eileen, who started giggling. “But I guess two random drunk people calling a car service and then demanding to go to a convenience store somehow doesn’t rank on the weirdness scale for this guy.”
“He’s a professional,” she said, evidently aiming for sober and failing miserably when she couldn’t stop laughing.
Fifteen minutes later, the car slowed to a stop in front of a 24-hour convenience store. “Here you are, sir, ma’am.”
“Thank you! Just wait here,” Eileen said. “We’ll only be a minute.”
They hopped out of the car and headed inside. Sam zeroed in on the wine. “Found it!”
“That was fast. Oh my god, it’s on sale for 8.99.”
“We have to leave the big orange price sticker on it,” he told her.
“Deal.”
They laughed, and Sam headed for the checkout counter. Eileen wandered away, and he grinned at the clerk. “Hello,” he said. “We’re here to help fill your random drunk people quota for the evening.”
The clerk smiled. “Good,” he said lightly. “I was behind on that.”
Sam snickered. “Eileen, what happened to you?” he called.
“I’m right here.” She was heading back toward him, carrying a frozen pizza in her hands. “I wanted to get this.”
“I’m stunned,” he said. “Stunned and so proud.”
“Shut up, I haven’t had one since culinary school.”
They quickly checked out and headed back to the car. “Back to the house, Jeeves!” Sam announced, and Eileen gasped with laughter, elbowing him in the ribs.
“His name is not Jeeves,” she said.
“Ow, you have sharp elbows.”
She patted his chest. “Is that better?”
“If I were remotely straight, you might be turning me on.”
“Good thing you’re not remotely straight then, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I thought so.” He smirked, opening the wine and taking a long swig. “Oh, god, this stuff is disgusting.” He handed her the bottle and she took a drink from it as well, making a face.
“It really, really is.” She took another drink and passed it back.
Once they got back to the house—both he and Eileen taking care to remember to tip the driver—Eileen headed straight for the kitchen. “I’m making this!”
“You do that!” he called after her, chuckling and heading for the living room, terrible bottle of wine in hand. “You don’t even deserve a proper glass,” he told it, and took another drink.
“Who are you talking to in there?” Eileen called.
“The wine!”
She reappeared in the living room. “Should I even ask why?”
“I was just telling it that it didn’t deserve a proper glass.”
“Oh,” she said, and looked like she was considering it. “That’s true.”
“Exactly.”
“The oven is preheating.”
“Your oven is going to rebel,” he said, grinning. “Once you put that pizza in it, it’s just going to hate you forever.”
“Stop personifying my appliances,” she said, stealing the bottle of wine from him and taking a long drink.
“Why? It’s fun.”
“Because it’s silly,” she said, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. He broke into laughter.
“Okay.”
She bit her lip to keep from laughing herself and handed back the bottle. “It’s your turn again, isn’t it?”
“My turn?” He got it a second later. “Oh, yeah, it’s my turn. Um. Truth.”
“I notice you stopped picking dares.”
“I’m so much drunker now,” he said wisely. “Which means there is so much more you could get me to do.”
She snickered. “Coward.”
“Maybe,” he said. “I do fear you.”
“Oh, that’s not cowardice,” she said, waving that away. “That’s being smart.”
He grinned. “What’s your question?”
“If you had to have a threesome and one of the other participants had to be female, who would you pick?”
“...I hate you,” he said, thinking hard and taking another drink from the bottle of wine. “Didn’t we just get done establishing how thoroughly gay I am?”
“Why do you think I asked you?” she asked, smirking. “You’re roughly as gay as Johnny. That’s kind of impressive.”
“Is it a copout if I say you?” he asked, giving her a faux-leer.
“No, but it makes you a suck up,” she informed him, grinning, as she stole back the wine. “That’s okay, though. The judges will accept that answer.”
Sam laughed. “Oh, they will, huh? And who exactly are the judges?”
“Mostly me,” she admitted, laughing as well.
“I should have guessed.”
There was a sudden shrill beeping sound from the kitchen. “Oven’s ready,” she declared, handing him the wine and standing. “I’ll be back.”
“I can’t believe you’re making a frozen pizza,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than I do in this moment.”
“Shut up!”
Sam laughed to himself, taking another drink from the bottle. This was the life.
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“Truth or dare!”
I picture him exclaiming it, super-excited, every time I read this, and it is amazing, always.
“Did you just pick truth for me?”
Of COURSE she did, Sam, she owns you!
“I’ll have to talk to Torey about that,” she said, and he started laughing.
“Oh, god, please let me be in the room when you do.”
He so wants to know why you enjoy bewildering him, guys.
At least the poor driver got tipped well for putting up with their nonsense. =P
“I’m so much drunker now,” he said wisely. “Which means there is so much more you could get me to do.”
Loooooooove.
This is all kinds of amazing, and having it in my email when I woke up was wonderful indeed.
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Lol, exactly! She completely owns him. XD
He so wants to know why you enjoy bewildering him, guys.
Because it's FUN. Duh, Torey. =P
I am glad! It was so much fun to write, too. Thank you!
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Thank you!
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I love it, I really do. It's so fun and perfectly highlights the amazingness that is their friendship. Cheap wine, though? God, are they going to regret that, not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.
Really, this is just fun and hilarious. You did a great job.
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This was so much fun to write, honestly. They're ridiculous and I love them.
Thanks!