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rainbowfic2016-02-02 08:55 pm
dark_kana) wrote in rainbowfic2016-02-02 08:55 pm
Atomic Tangerine 15 - Spilt ink 4 - Fingerpainting - Noverlty Beads
Name: Kana
Title: Carrying the world
Story: Pretty sure this will remain a one-shot
Characters: Sofia and Alice
Colors: Atomic Tangerine 15. the four horsemen – Spilt Ink 4. You'll forgive me but I'm professionally curious. I'm paid to be interesting. I'm indebted to mystery.
Supplies and Styles: Fingerpainting – Novelty beads (We're going off tonight/To kick out every light/Take anything we want/Drink everything in sight/We're going till the world stops turning/While we burn it to the ground tonight. - "Burn It To The Ground", Nickelback)
Word count: 2381
Rating: PG13
Warnings: War, Death
Summary: How can one person deal with all the pain and hate in the world?
Notes: Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome. Written when I should have been sleeping, not edited.
Her mother had always known her little girl was special. It wasn’t that hard to figure out, not really. She never cried for normal things. As a baby, she never did. Not once. Not for food, or for teeth coming through, or for sleep or nightmares, not for cramps or feeling ill. She didn’t cry. Not for herself.
But sometimes, she would whimper. When her mother was in pain, or her father, or her older brother. Sometimes she would sniffle, when someone in the village was ill or died. It was a small village.
And sometimes, she would pull faces and there would be a couple of tears rolling down her cheeks. But no sound would leave her lips. Her parents could see it, she was in pain. But there was nothing to be found.
As a child, she was the same. She wouldn’t cry when she was ill, or when she had hurt herself when falling down while playing, or when she had bruises from fighting with the other boys of her class. But she didn’t cry.
Yet when her parents or her brother or her friends were hurt, she would whimper and try to curl up close by their side. Offering comfort that always seemed to help a little bit.
And when you heard her sniffle, you could almost bet on it that it wasn’t a cold but that something was wrong with someone in the village.
Her mother never asked why she wouldn’t cry. Could see in her eyes that her daughter wouldn’t answer. Even at such a young age, you could see the stubbornness in her eyes.
When she was a teenager, her mother wondered why she didn’t become a little rebel. She’d watch her daughter, sometimes with hawk eyes, to try and discover a lie or something that would show she was hitting puberty. But she found no proof. And so she let it go, thanking the Heavens she had a daughter who didn’t turn into a rebel like the daughters of her friends.
Never once did she see her child cry for her own. But she’d whimper and sniffle. And when there were tears suddenly rolling down her face, her daughter would excuse herself and lock herself up in her room. And no matter what her family said or asked, she would only ask to please leave her alone for a moment. So they did. Worrying in the beginning, but when she came back, all smiling and happily chatting, even that worry went away after some years.
The stubborn light was still ever present in her eyes, but no one saw the pain and the fear concealed behind it. She wouldn’t let them see it. It was her way to protect everybody from that special gift she received when she was born.
-
“Hey Sofia, you coming?”
She smiles when she sees her best friend waving at her from across the road. It takes her only a second to decide and cross the street, linking her arm with Alice’s.
“Where are we going?”
Her friend pulls up her shoulders and starts walking. “I don’t know. For a walk? Let’s see where our feet take us?”
Laughing Sofia nods. They are in their late twenties and yet they still manage to do spontaneous and silly things. Most of their friends don’t do that anymore. They work and they have a family and they keep to their rhythm.
But she doesn’t. Not always. Alice doesn’t. Not always.
Perhaps it is because of their work. They are both writers. Sofia writes books. And Alice is a journalist.
“So, how is your husband?”
Alice beams when she starts talking about him. It’s so obvious she’s still head over heels for him. Most of their friends roll their eyes at them, when they see them walking over the street together. Hand in hand and sometimes giggling and kissing like teenagers who just got together. But Sofia thinks it’s great that they can still be like that, even after being together for quite some years already. To her, it’s prove they still love each other. She’s sure her other friends love each other as well. But... That amorousness seems to be gone by most of them. The feeling of just having fallen in love, the romantic love. She doesn’t know how she should explain it, but if ever she finds the right person for her, she hopes they’ll become like Alice and her husband. Happy and in love and staying in love and not being afraid to show the world that.
She stops suddenly, her free hand moving up to her chest. Gasping for breath. Her legs start trembling and the pain in her heart is so sudden and so explosive and intensive that she feels as if she’s going to pass out in a couple of seconds.
“Alice.”
The name barely escapes her lips and her friend looks at her worriedly. Stopping so suddenly had interrupted Alice’s monologue about her husband and what’s going on in their lives. Of course she has seen the flash of pain on her friend’s face.
“Sofia? Sit down, you look as if you can faint every second.”
She knows they are in the park, they crossed the gate a couple of minutes ago, and she lets Alice guide her to a bench.
Closing her eyes, the hand still on her chest balled to a fist, fingers gripping the fabric of her sweater, trying to help her deal with the pain.
She’s gasping for breath and then the tears come. Rolling down freely down her face. She can feel Alice holding her other hand and she can’t help but squeeze it, hard.
“It’s okay.”
Vaguely her friend’s words enter through the fog in her head. She can’t think of anything else but the pain that suddenly fell over her and wishing for it to go away quickly.
“What is it? What are you feeling?”
Alice knows. Alice is her best friend. Alice has always known.
“Can I help?”
She shakes her head. Can’t manage to talk, not yet. First the pain has to go away and the tears have to stop. Then she can try and explain. For as far as she understands it herself.
-
“Hey Alice, come in.”
She smiles when her best friend holds out a box of chocolates.
“Happy birthday! 35, rather a special age, in my opinion.”
Beaming Sofia hugs her. “My favorites, thank you!”
Laughing Alice shakes her head. “You have been my best friend for... twenty years or so. I would be ashamed if I still didn’t know what you love, right?”
Pulling up her shoulders, laughing, Sofia lets her enter the living room. “So, tea? Hot chocolate? Chai latte? Something else?”
“It’s winter. Really, what do you think?”
Winking Sofia turns to the kitchen. “Hot chocolate, coming up, exactly as you like it best.”
Shaking her head, Alice studies the shelves of books against the wall. She has always been a little jealous at the amount of books her best friend has. Smiling she takes out a book she has loved when she was a youngster, directing her question to the kitchen. “Can I borrow your Peter Rabbit book again?”
There’s a snicker from the kitchen before Sofia’s answer comes floating in. “Yeah sure.” It’s followed by Sofia herself and two cups of steaming hot chocolate.
“With a little hint of cinnamon, just how you prefer it.”
“Hmm, thank you.”
They set themselves on the couch, both asking questions and talking and enjoying the afternoon to themselves.
Of course Alice immediately notices the flash of pain that crosses her friend’s face. Even if she wouldn’t have been observing her so carefully as she was doing.
“It’s a painful year, isn’t it?”
Looking up, Sofia drops the happy shield that is covering her stubborn eyes. “Yeah. It has been. And I’m afraid it is not going to stop soon...”
Shaking her head, her friend places her hand on top of hers.
“So much pain. So much grief. So much sadness. So much... death.” Closing her eyes, Sofia sighs softly. “It hurts so damn much. Every attack, every bomb, every...”
A tear escapes and Alice moves in to hug her.
“I feel so helpless, watching how you have to deal with all the pain, all over the world...”
Sniffling Sofia wraps her arms around her friend, relishing in the comfort she is given.
“You told me, all these years ago, you told me that you could feel someone else’s pain. In the beginning it were your family, your friends, the people in that small village of ours.”
Looking back up, Sofia tries to smile reassuringly, knowing full well her friend can see right through it.
“But that, when you grew older, it became a bigger pain. Pain you couldn’t place. But you could feel the hurt and fear and even death of other people. Not knowing where it came from. It scared me. It scared the hell out of me. Until I wondered how much it should scare you.”
Sofia pulls up her shoulders. “I never thought of it as scary. It was something I have always known. It just hurt. But now... Now I know where it all comes from, yes, now I am scared.”
Alice nods and hugs her again.
“All those years ago, when the pain attacked you so intensely while we were walking in the park. When I came home and I saw the news on TV. That one huge bombing, all the death, all the misery,... You were my first thought. And I know I thought to myself, how is it possible that one person can feel all of this? How is it possible that one person, the finest person I know, has to carry the fear and the pain of so many people, on her shoulders, all alone. It’s not fair.”
She lets go and look Sofia straight in her eyes.
“How can you handle this?”
She asks every time since she found out. And Sofia never answers, just shakes her head. She doesn’t expect an answer this time either. But still she asks. She has to ask. Resists the urge to sigh when Sofia does indeed shake her head.
“I just wish I could help you.”
Smiling sadly, her friend places a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know why I am like this. I really don’t know. But you are doing everything you can. You’re here for me when I need you. I can call you at any given time. That means the world to me.”
Rolling her eyes, Alice smiles. “Isn’t that what friends are for?”
Nodding Sofia kisses her cheek.
“So, another hot chocolate?”
Her friend knows she’s trying to run away. And she gets the hint to drop the subject. But she can’t help to stay worried when she watches Sofia’s disappearing back.
She reenters the room just a couple of seconds later, the empty mugs still in her hand. A pondering look on her face.
“What if we go out this evening? There is a new club, not too far from here. Opened a couple of weeks ago. I’d like to go there one day. Why not go now? I feel like dancing. And it’s my birthday after all.”
The stubborn and happy glow is back in her eyes. Hiding the pain and the sadness and the fear. But Alice doesn’t need to see it to know it is there.
“If that is what you want. I would also like some music and dance. It’s been a while.”
Grinning Sofia takes her coat and hands Alice’s hers. “Let’s go then. I know for a fact that there will be no youngsters but only our age people.”
Smiling Alice links her arm with hers. “That is nice.”
It’s but a quarter of an hour walk and they don’t talk on their way over there. There is no need to talk. Not now.
“Hey strangers.”
They smile when they recognize the security guard at the door who lets them in without a question.
“That... was unexpected and came in really handy. We didn’t even have to wait to be allowed in.”
Laughing Sofia drags her friend over to the bar.
“Two cocktails.”
They stay at the bar for a couple of minutes, enjoying the music and their drink. Sofia’s is up before Alice’s and winking she gets up and enters the dance floor. Her friend smiles and watches her dance. No matter what, dancing has always helped Sofia forget about the pain a little.
She joins her a couple of minutes later, when her own drink is finished.
They dance for hours. Enjoying cocktails in between.
“Are you alright?”
Giggling Sofia has her arm linked with Alice’s. “Sure. The world is just turning.”
Shaking her head, Alice reprimands her a little. “I told you, you had too much to drink. I warned you four cocktails ago.”
Pulling up her shoulder, Sofia looks at her. And once again her friend can see the pain and sadness and how scared she is.
“The world is a mess. It’s been turning wrong for years. And as long as these fighting times stay, it will keep on turning wrong. So if I have to feel all the bad and the hate and the pain of this blasted world, I let my world turn as well, every now and then. Let me try and cope with it. Let me try and...”
She falls silent, glassy eyes staring in the distance.
“You know. People are making this world burn. What if they burn it too much? How much longer can this go on? When do you think this will all end?”
Worried, Alice moves over to hug her.
“What are you saying? That the end is soon coming?”
Once more Sofia pulls up her shoulders. “There are four horseman, aren’t there? With all the fighting going on in the world, have you never thought that way?”
Her friend shakes her head. “No. But I don’t feel what you do. So perhaps... Perhaps we are indeed messing up this world.”
They stay silent on their way back home. Each lost in their own thoughts. Both worried, for different reasons. Sofia for the faith of the world. And Alice for Sofia.
Title: Carrying the world
Story: Pretty sure this will remain a one-shot
Characters: Sofia and Alice
Colors: Atomic Tangerine 15. the four horsemen – Spilt Ink 4. You'll forgive me but I'm professionally curious. I'm paid to be interesting. I'm indebted to mystery.
Supplies and Styles: Fingerpainting – Novelty beads (We're going off tonight/To kick out every light/Take anything we want/Drink everything in sight/We're going till the world stops turning/While we burn it to the ground tonight. - "Burn It To The Ground", Nickelback)
Word count: 2381
Rating: PG13
Warnings: War, Death
Summary: How can one person deal with all the pain and hate in the world?
Notes: Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome. Written when I should have been sleeping, not edited.
Her mother had always known her little girl was special. It wasn’t that hard to figure out, not really. She never cried for normal things. As a baby, she never did. Not once. Not for food, or for teeth coming through, or for sleep or nightmares, not for cramps or feeling ill. She didn’t cry. Not for herself.
But sometimes, she would whimper. When her mother was in pain, or her father, or her older brother. Sometimes she would sniffle, when someone in the village was ill or died. It was a small village.
And sometimes, she would pull faces and there would be a couple of tears rolling down her cheeks. But no sound would leave her lips. Her parents could see it, she was in pain. But there was nothing to be found.
As a child, she was the same. She wouldn’t cry when she was ill, or when she had hurt herself when falling down while playing, or when she had bruises from fighting with the other boys of her class. But she didn’t cry.
Yet when her parents or her brother or her friends were hurt, she would whimper and try to curl up close by their side. Offering comfort that always seemed to help a little bit.
And when you heard her sniffle, you could almost bet on it that it wasn’t a cold but that something was wrong with someone in the village.
Her mother never asked why she wouldn’t cry. Could see in her eyes that her daughter wouldn’t answer. Even at such a young age, you could see the stubbornness in her eyes.
When she was a teenager, her mother wondered why she didn’t become a little rebel. She’d watch her daughter, sometimes with hawk eyes, to try and discover a lie or something that would show she was hitting puberty. But she found no proof. And so she let it go, thanking the Heavens she had a daughter who didn’t turn into a rebel like the daughters of her friends.
Never once did she see her child cry for her own. But she’d whimper and sniffle. And when there were tears suddenly rolling down her face, her daughter would excuse herself and lock herself up in her room. And no matter what her family said or asked, she would only ask to please leave her alone for a moment. So they did. Worrying in the beginning, but when she came back, all smiling and happily chatting, even that worry went away after some years.
The stubborn light was still ever present in her eyes, but no one saw the pain and the fear concealed behind it. She wouldn’t let them see it. It was her way to protect everybody from that special gift she received when she was born.
-
“Hey Sofia, you coming?”
She smiles when she sees her best friend waving at her from across the road. It takes her only a second to decide and cross the street, linking her arm with Alice’s.
“Where are we going?”
Her friend pulls up her shoulders and starts walking. “I don’t know. For a walk? Let’s see where our feet take us?”
Laughing Sofia nods. They are in their late twenties and yet they still manage to do spontaneous and silly things. Most of their friends don’t do that anymore. They work and they have a family and they keep to their rhythm.
But she doesn’t. Not always. Alice doesn’t. Not always.
Perhaps it is because of their work. They are both writers. Sofia writes books. And Alice is a journalist.
“So, how is your husband?”
Alice beams when she starts talking about him. It’s so obvious she’s still head over heels for him. Most of their friends roll their eyes at them, when they see them walking over the street together. Hand in hand and sometimes giggling and kissing like teenagers who just got together. But Sofia thinks it’s great that they can still be like that, even after being together for quite some years already. To her, it’s prove they still love each other. She’s sure her other friends love each other as well. But... That amorousness seems to be gone by most of them. The feeling of just having fallen in love, the romantic love. She doesn’t know how she should explain it, but if ever she finds the right person for her, she hopes they’ll become like Alice and her husband. Happy and in love and staying in love and not being afraid to show the world that.
She stops suddenly, her free hand moving up to her chest. Gasping for breath. Her legs start trembling and the pain in her heart is so sudden and so explosive and intensive that she feels as if she’s going to pass out in a couple of seconds.
“Alice.”
The name barely escapes her lips and her friend looks at her worriedly. Stopping so suddenly had interrupted Alice’s monologue about her husband and what’s going on in their lives. Of course she has seen the flash of pain on her friend’s face.
“Sofia? Sit down, you look as if you can faint every second.”
She knows they are in the park, they crossed the gate a couple of minutes ago, and she lets Alice guide her to a bench.
Closing her eyes, the hand still on her chest balled to a fist, fingers gripping the fabric of her sweater, trying to help her deal with the pain.
She’s gasping for breath and then the tears come. Rolling down freely down her face. She can feel Alice holding her other hand and she can’t help but squeeze it, hard.
“It’s okay.”
Vaguely her friend’s words enter through the fog in her head. She can’t think of anything else but the pain that suddenly fell over her and wishing for it to go away quickly.
“What is it? What are you feeling?”
Alice knows. Alice is her best friend. Alice has always known.
“Can I help?”
She shakes her head. Can’t manage to talk, not yet. First the pain has to go away and the tears have to stop. Then she can try and explain. For as far as she understands it herself.
-
“Hey Alice, come in.”
She smiles when her best friend holds out a box of chocolates.
“Happy birthday! 35, rather a special age, in my opinion.”
Beaming Sofia hugs her. “My favorites, thank you!”
Laughing Alice shakes her head. “You have been my best friend for... twenty years or so. I would be ashamed if I still didn’t know what you love, right?”
Pulling up her shoulders, laughing, Sofia lets her enter the living room. “So, tea? Hot chocolate? Chai latte? Something else?”
“It’s winter. Really, what do you think?”
Winking Sofia turns to the kitchen. “Hot chocolate, coming up, exactly as you like it best.”
Shaking her head, Alice studies the shelves of books against the wall. She has always been a little jealous at the amount of books her best friend has. Smiling she takes out a book she has loved when she was a youngster, directing her question to the kitchen. “Can I borrow your Peter Rabbit book again?”
There’s a snicker from the kitchen before Sofia’s answer comes floating in. “Yeah sure.” It’s followed by Sofia herself and two cups of steaming hot chocolate.
“With a little hint of cinnamon, just how you prefer it.”
“Hmm, thank you.”
They set themselves on the couch, both asking questions and talking and enjoying the afternoon to themselves.
Of course Alice immediately notices the flash of pain that crosses her friend’s face. Even if she wouldn’t have been observing her so carefully as she was doing.
“It’s a painful year, isn’t it?”
Looking up, Sofia drops the happy shield that is covering her stubborn eyes. “Yeah. It has been. And I’m afraid it is not going to stop soon...”
Shaking her head, her friend places her hand on top of hers.
“So much pain. So much grief. So much sadness. So much... death.” Closing her eyes, Sofia sighs softly. “It hurts so damn much. Every attack, every bomb, every...”
A tear escapes and Alice moves in to hug her.
“I feel so helpless, watching how you have to deal with all the pain, all over the world...”
Sniffling Sofia wraps her arms around her friend, relishing in the comfort she is given.
“You told me, all these years ago, you told me that you could feel someone else’s pain. In the beginning it were your family, your friends, the people in that small village of ours.”
Looking back up, Sofia tries to smile reassuringly, knowing full well her friend can see right through it.
“But that, when you grew older, it became a bigger pain. Pain you couldn’t place. But you could feel the hurt and fear and even death of other people. Not knowing where it came from. It scared me. It scared the hell out of me. Until I wondered how much it should scare you.”
Sofia pulls up her shoulders. “I never thought of it as scary. It was something I have always known. It just hurt. But now... Now I know where it all comes from, yes, now I am scared.”
Alice nods and hugs her again.
“All those years ago, when the pain attacked you so intensely while we were walking in the park. When I came home and I saw the news on TV. That one huge bombing, all the death, all the misery,... You were my first thought. And I know I thought to myself, how is it possible that one person can feel all of this? How is it possible that one person, the finest person I know, has to carry the fear and the pain of so many people, on her shoulders, all alone. It’s not fair.”
She lets go and look Sofia straight in her eyes.
“How can you handle this?”
She asks every time since she found out. And Sofia never answers, just shakes her head. She doesn’t expect an answer this time either. But still she asks. She has to ask. Resists the urge to sigh when Sofia does indeed shake her head.
“I just wish I could help you.”
Smiling sadly, her friend places a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know why I am like this. I really don’t know. But you are doing everything you can. You’re here for me when I need you. I can call you at any given time. That means the world to me.”
Rolling her eyes, Alice smiles. “Isn’t that what friends are for?”
Nodding Sofia kisses her cheek.
“So, another hot chocolate?”
Her friend knows she’s trying to run away. And she gets the hint to drop the subject. But she can’t help to stay worried when she watches Sofia’s disappearing back.
She reenters the room just a couple of seconds later, the empty mugs still in her hand. A pondering look on her face.
“What if we go out this evening? There is a new club, not too far from here. Opened a couple of weeks ago. I’d like to go there one day. Why not go now? I feel like dancing. And it’s my birthday after all.”
The stubborn and happy glow is back in her eyes. Hiding the pain and the sadness and the fear. But Alice doesn’t need to see it to know it is there.
“If that is what you want. I would also like some music and dance. It’s been a while.”
Grinning Sofia takes her coat and hands Alice’s hers. “Let’s go then. I know for a fact that there will be no youngsters but only our age people.”
Smiling Alice links her arm with hers. “That is nice.”
It’s but a quarter of an hour walk and they don’t talk on their way over there. There is no need to talk. Not now.
“Hey strangers.”
They smile when they recognize the security guard at the door who lets them in without a question.
“That... was unexpected and came in really handy. We didn’t even have to wait to be allowed in.”
Laughing Sofia drags her friend over to the bar.
“Two cocktails.”
They stay at the bar for a couple of minutes, enjoying the music and their drink. Sofia’s is up before Alice’s and winking she gets up and enters the dance floor. Her friend smiles and watches her dance. No matter what, dancing has always helped Sofia forget about the pain a little.
She joins her a couple of minutes later, when her own drink is finished.
They dance for hours. Enjoying cocktails in between.
“Are you alright?”
Giggling Sofia has her arm linked with Alice’s. “Sure. The world is just turning.”
Shaking her head, Alice reprimands her a little. “I told you, you had too much to drink. I warned you four cocktails ago.”
Pulling up her shoulder, Sofia looks at her. And once again her friend can see the pain and sadness and how scared she is.
“The world is a mess. It’s been turning wrong for years. And as long as these fighting times stay, it will keep on turning wrong. So if I have to feel all the bad and the hate and the pain of this blasted world, I let my world turn as well, every now and then. Let me try and cope with it. Let me try and...”
She falls silent, glassy eyes staring in the distance.
“You know. People are making this world burn. What if they burn it too much? How much longer can this go on? When do you think this will all end?”
Worried, Alice moves over to hug her.
“What are you saying? That the end is soon coming?”
Once more Sofia pulls up her shoulders. “There are four horseman, aren’t there? With all the fighting going on in the world, have you never thought that way?”
Her friend shakes her head. “No. But I don’t feel what you do. So perhaps... Perhaps we are indeed messing up this world.”
They stay silent on their way back home. Each lost in their own thoughts. Both worried, for different reasons. Sofia for the faith of the world. And Alice for Sofia.
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