Geena (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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rainbowfic2012-03-18 01:44 am
geena) wrote in rainbowfic2012-03-18 01:44 am
Blue
Author: geena
Color: Blue
Supplies and Styles: Saturation, miniature collection, frame
Rating: PG for language
Word Count: 2,000
Story: Polyfaceted (Index~Timeline); the title of this story is Central and Inevitable.
Summary: Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man. -- Thomas Wolfe
Notes: This takes place in 1992, 1996, 1997, 2000, 2002, 2004, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2013, 2016, 2020, 2021, 2034, 2042, 2045, 2046, 2047, and 2058. Warning for animal abuse and depression, in different sections.
***
12. blue law
Schoolwork takes up a lot of Torey’s time-- there’s classes, homework, group projects, and general cramming. On top of that, he knows a few guys that are always willing to throw together a game or try their luck at any of the bars notorious for not carding.
But some nights, hanging up after a phone call home, Torey sits in his quiet, empty apartment in this strange area and wonders if he made right decision when he chose to attend school outside the city.
Then he stands, makes his way to the kitchen, and pops his dinner into the microwave.
***
16. curse a blue streak
“So he’s gone?” Lea asks, pitching her voice low.
Johnny stares at his steak. “Yeah. Yesterday afternoon. He called las’ night, sounds real excited ‘bout the apartment. ‘s a great position, he’s lucky ta have landed it.” He nudges a few bites with his fork before relenting and shoving his plate away. “Course Brian got the job, he’s fuckin’ good at what he does.”
Lea’s eyes soften as she reaches across the table, laying her hand on his clenched fist. “You made the right choice, both of you.”
“Doesn’ seem like I did,” he gruffly replies. “Miss him like fuck.”
***
2. blue ribbon
“Oh, you know how young boys are.” Her mother casually waves a hand, attention already straying. “Boys are like boys, as they say.”
“Boys will be boys,” Lea distractedly corrects. She can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Ma, it wasn’t like Leo was teasing the cat. He set it on fire. That’s not what boys do. That’s not what humans do. And I think he liked it.”
“It is a phase.”
“But--” Lea stares for a few seconds before shaking her head and turning on her heel. There’s no point.
If she has to, she’ll take care of this herself.
***
17. blue in the face
The first night in her very own house, Teresa invites David to stay in the guest room-- his room, really-- and they pass the evening comfortably. They have so much fun that he stays for another two nights, until Angela calls and he leaves. He promises to come back the next day, but she doesn’t mind. She’s excited to be on her own.
Teresa reheats leftovers, feeds the cats, and washes the dishes. It isn’t until the activity stops that she notices the crushing silence that permeates the house, the darkness in every room.
She misses her parents and brothers.
***
14. blue balls
David fucks his wife-- god, his wife-- in mostly silence. Afterward, tamping down that rising feeling of disgust, he tosses a towel at her and heads for a piss and a shower. By the time he’s done the bitch is feigning sleep-- fine by him.
It’s quiet downstairs. David wanders into the living room, turns on ESPN, and sinks onto the couch with a weariness he can’t name. He’s got a meeting early in the morning, but simply thinking about venturing back upstairs to that bed sends his heart racing.
Tomorrow, he tells himself, he’ll stay with Teresa. Not here.
***
19. violets are blue
He puts the kids to bed.
Romeo loops through every room, checking each window and door. Satisfied that they’re secure, he retires to the master bedroom. Some nights he settles with a book, while others see him sprawled across the duvet (swirling lines on a blue background, a pattern Penny chose three years earlier) with a stack of tests to grade. Rarely, he’ll allow himself a single glass of scotch.
He fights sleep until his eyes begin to close. Then he kisses the framed snapshot of Penny, crawls under the covers, and waits for sleep in the wide, cold bed.
***
7. blue blood
“My mother is dead, that’s what Lea wanted. I’m sure you’re thrilled by the news.”
“Oh, darling.” Daria sighs, cocking her head. “Would I take advantage of your grief in such a time? My ministrations incorporate far more finesse than something so base, I should hope.”
Leo stares at her. “You’re enjoying this.”
“Hardly.” Casually, she picks a piece of lint of her sweater, flicking it in his direction. “Will you be... all right? Or should I prepare for a messy display of raw emotion?”
He turns sharply, spitting out, “I’ll be in my office. Your company is not needed.”
***
6. once in a blue moon
“You’re sure you have everything?” Nicoletta asks for the fifth time. “If you forgot anything, I--”
“Mom.” It’s a credit to Diana that her impatience is only now beginning to show. “I’ve got everything. Look, I should get going if I’m going to beat traffic.”
“You’re sure you don’t want me to come along?”
Diana shoots her a look, climbing into the car. “I’m not showing up at college with my mother, but thanks. I’ll call you later tonight, okay?” She’s gone within thirty seconds, tearing down the driveway.
“I’ll miss you,” Nicoletta says, heading into the empty house.
***
15. deep blue sea
“Ireland’s still here, I can at least say that. How’s work?”
Isabella hesitates. “Different. The kids--” she can’t think of this next generation as adults, despite the fact that L is fast approaching fifty-- “are good at what they do, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not the same without you and Torey. Hell, even David’s not himself.”
“You’ll get used to it.” Nicoletta pauses, glancing at something just out of frame. “Shit, I’ve got to go. Liam’s yelling about something. Look, you’re sure you okay? You sound...”
“Yeah.” Isabella smiles a beat too late. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”
***
11. the moon is blue
On Sunday afternoons, Stefano leaves his small apartment for the sprawling park eight blocks over.
He finds a bench that he likes to think of as his own, one close enough to the playground while still far enough away that most parents left him alone. Sometimes he takes a book, sometimes he just sits and thinks. He breathes in the fresh air, he listens to the birds, and he watches with vague interest the families that surround him.
He tries not to think of his mother, his sister, even his father, over a hundred and fifty miles away.
He fails.
***
3. feeling blue
Mina has been, for lack of a better word, detached for most of her life. It’s not as though she’s emotionally negligent in any way-- she experiences happiness and sadness like everyone else-- but she’s spent so much time inside her own head that it’s difficult to register most of what happens around her.
But then Vito dies. It’s stupid, it’s pointless, and it’s such a waste that whenever Mina thinks of it, a bottomless grief threatens to envelope her.
She extracts herself at dinner, walks to the bedroom, and closes the door with careful deliberation.
The tears come then.
***
18. the boys in blue
The bar is packed, the speakers blaring out a great song, and the drinks are being made by unbelievably hot bartenders. Grinning, Vito excuses himself and weaves his way outside, dialing as he goes.
“Yeah?” Gino’s voice seems small compared to the noise spilling through the open doors behind him.
“It’s me,” Vito calls out. “I’m at this spot downtown, you and Ethan have got to get down here, man. It’s fucking amazing.”
“Uh. I think we’re just gonna stay here, but thanks. See you tomorrow?”
“Oh. Sure. Whatever. See you then.”
He hangs up and heads inside, swallowing disappointment.
***
1. singing the blues
Gino doesn’t understand.
He doesn’t understand why no one else seems to need to do nothing but sprawl in bed, unable to eat or sleep. He doesn’t understand why sometimes it hurts to smile and laugh like everything’s okay when inside, it feels like the world is ending. He doesn’t understand how his mother’s concern only makes him feel worse, full of a self-loathing he can’t pin-point.
It’s like he’s the only one.
So he grits his teeth and forces himself through the motions until he’s better again, and he tries not to feel like the last man on earth.
***
20. Blue's Clues
When Gina Sophia watches her friends with their fathers, she tries not to let her heartbreak show.
She imagines her father was a loud, big man, tall and strong, great for climbing on and with broad shoulders that would support her. At the same time, he was sure to be gentle and caring, always able to kiss a skinned knee or wipe away a stray tear. He was in love with her mother, deeply in love. She pictures him with dark hair like hers, a round face, and soft green eyes.
Gina Sophia aches for the father she never knew.
***
5. true blue
What surprises her most is that her shit-stain of an ex-husband actually got custody.
No, that’s a lie, one that she’s been repeating to herself ever since Seamus first approached her with the idea. The real surprise, if Cristina is honest, is that Trevor could hate her so much, could hardly stand living with her.
At first she fought tooth and nail. Now that she knows how miserable her son was, she’s glad she gave in, even if that means losing her child to the one man she hates most.
These are the thoughts that Cristina refuses to dwell on.
***
9. blue plate special
Lupus.
That’s what it all comes down to-- all the pain, the agony, the weariness and illness. Elisabetta has lupus and she will for the rest of her life.
Some days are fine. Some days she can hardly life her head from her pillow, unshed tears stinging her eyes. Cristina is unbearably understanding and their mothers care for her every need. Even her brothers make an effort to coax out a smile.
But Elisabetta has lupus and she’s the only one. She alone understands the pain, both physical and emotional, and she alone has to bear the brunt of it.
***
4. out of the blue
She wants Mama.
Eva and Adamo go to stay with a nice lady and her husband. There are other kids to play with and the lady’s really good at feeding Adamo and making sure he gets attention when he cries. They get cookies and sometimes they even go to the park.
But whenever she asks for Mama, the adults say Mama’s gone and won’t be coming back, but she doesn’t believe them. Mama would never leave for good.
At night, Eva sneaks out of bed and spends forever watching her brother, holding his hand.
She wants Mama to come back.
***
10. blue collar
Breaking up with Lance was the right thing to do, Adamo knows this. The guy’s a cheating drug addict, and a terrible boyfriend to boot.
But he still loves him. Despite himself, Adamo still loves him and nothing he tells himself stops the pain of watching his friends pair off into happy couples. Even worse is the moment when he learns that Lance has another boyfriend, a fellow drug user that he wastes no time in publicly displaying affection for.
There’s someone out there for him, sure. But it’d sure be nice if that someone would hurry up and arrive.
***
8. blueprint
It comes so easily and naturally to other people.
Every moment of every day, Maria is calculating. She has to take each social interaction and weigh and compare it, meticulously working out her every reaction and expression, which emotions she should play subtly and which are overt. She can never stop, not for one minute, for fear of everything she’s worked for crumbling around her. Perfection and utter control are the standards of her life and every effort must be put forth in maintaining the right balance.
The others have no idea how wearying it is to be like them.
***
13. bluing
Augusto takes a moment to collapse onto a folding chair. Nearby a group of his partners sit chatting and laughing, exchanging photos and anecdotes. A few of the older kids gather in the next room, while the babies are cooed and fawned over two tables away. In the kitchen, a couple of the women create a masterpiece of an impossibly large meal.
In a moment, someone will arrive to demand his time and attention and he’ll gladly share it. For now he remains on the peripherals of the party, hovering alone.
Augusto rises to his feet with a firm smile.
***
geenaColor: Blue
Supplies and Styles: Saturation, miniature collection, frame
Rating: PG for language
Word Count: 2,000
Story: Polyfaceted (Index~Timeline); the title of this story is Central and Inevitable.
Summary: Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man. -- Thomas Wolfe
Notes: This takes place in 1992, 1996, 1997, 2000, 2002, 2004, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2013, 2016, 2020, 2021, 2034, 2042, 2045, 2046, 2047, and 2058. Warning for animal abuse and depression, in different sections.
***
12. blue law
1992
Torey is eighteen
Torey is eighteen
Schoolwork takes up a lot of Torey’s time-- there’s classes, homework, group projects, and general cramming. On top of that, he knows a few guys that are always willing to throw together a game or try their luck at any of the bars notorious for not carding.
But some nights, hanging up after a phone call home, Torey sits in his quiet, empty apartment in this strange area and wonders if he made right decision when he chose to attend school outside the city.
Then he stands, makes his way to the kitchen, and pops his dinner into the microwave.
***
16. curse a blue streak
1997
Johnny is twenty-one
Johnny is twenty-one
“So he’s gone?” Lea asks, pitching her voice low.
Johnny stares at his steak. “Yeah. Yesterday afternoon. He called las’ night, sounds real excited ‘bout the apartment. ‘s a great position, he’s lucky ta have landed it.” He nudges a few bites with his fork before relenting and shoving his plate away. “Course Brian got the job, he’s fuckin’ good at what he does.”
Lea’s eyes soften as she reaches across the table, laying her hand on his clenched fist. “You made the right choice, both of you.”
“Doesn’ seem like I did,” he gruffly replies. “Miss him like fuck.”
***
2. blue ribbon
1996
Lea is nineteen
Lea is nineteen
“Oh, you know how young boys are.” Her mother casually waves a hand, attention already straying. “Boys are like boys, as they say.”
“Boys will be boys,” Lea distractedly corrects. She can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Ma, it wasn’t like Leo was teasing the cat. He set it on fire. That’s not what boys do. That’s not what humans do. And I think he liked it.”
“It is a phase.”
“But--” Lea stares for a few seconds before shaking her head and turning on her heel. There’s no point.
If she has to, she’ll take care of this herself.
***
17. blue in the face
2006
Teresa is twenty-six
Teresa is twenty-six
The first night in her very own house, Teresa invites David to stay in the guest room-- his room, really-- and they pass the evening comfortably. They have so much fun that he stays for another two nights, until Angela calls and he leaves. He promises to come back the next day, but she doesn’t mind. She’s excited to be on her own.
Teresa reheats leftovers, feeds the cats, and washes the dishes. It isn’t until the activity stops that she notices the crushing silence that permeates the house, the darkness in every room.
She misses her parents and brothers.
***
14. blue balls
2000
David is eighteen
David is eighteen
David fucks his wife-- god, his wife-- in mostly silence. Afterward, tamping down that rising feeling of disgust, he tosses a towel at her and heads for a piss and a shower. By the time he’s done the bitch is feigning sleep-- fine by him.
It’s quiet downstairs. David wanders into the living room, turns on ESPN, and sinks onto the couch with a weariness he can’t name. He’s got a meeting early in the morning, but simply thinking about venturing back upstairs to that bed sends his heart racing.
Tomorrow, he tells himself, he’ll stay with Teresa. Not here.
***
19. violets are blue
2020
Romeo is thirty-five
Romeo is thirty-five
He puts the kids to bed.
Romeo loops through every room, checking each window and door. Satisfied that they’re secure, he retires to the master bedroom. Some nights he settles with a book, while others see him sprawled across the duvet (swirling lines on a blue background, a pattern Penny chose three years earlier) with a stack of tests to grade. Rarely, he’ll allow himself a single glass of scotch.
He fights sleep until his eyes begin to close. Then he kisses the framed snapshot of Penny, crawls under the covers, and waits for sleep in the wide, cold bed.
***
7. blue blood
2047
Leo is sixty-one
Leo is sixty-one
“My mother is dead, that’s what Lea wanted. I’m sure you’re thrilled by the news.”
“Oh, darling.” Daria sighs, cocking her head. “Would I take advantage of your grief in such a time? My ministrations incorporate far more finesse than something so base, I should hope.”
Leo stares at her. “You’re enjoying this.”
“Hardly.” Casually, she picks a piece of lint of her sweater, flicking it in his direction. “Will you be... all right? Or should I prepare for a messy display of raw emotion?”
He turns sharply, spitting out, “I’ll be in my office. Your company is not needed.”
***
6. once in a blue moon
2034
Nicoletta is forty-eight
Nicoletta is forty-eight
“You’re sure you have everything?” Nicoletta asks for the fifth time. “If you forgot anything, I--”
“Mom.” It’s a credit to Diana that her impatience is only now beginning to show. “I’ve got everything. Look, I should get going if I’m going to beat traffic.”
“You’re sure you don’t want me to come along?”
Diana shoots her a look, climbing into the car. “I’m not showing up at college with my mother, but thanks. I’ll call you later tonight, okay?” She’s gone within thirty seconds, tearing down the driveway.
“I’ll miss you,” Nicoletta says, heading into the empty house.
***
15. deep blue sea
2046
Isabella is fifty-eight
Isabella is fifty-eight
“Ireland’s still here, I can at least say that. How’s work?”
Isabella hesitates. “Different. The kids--” she can’t think of this next generation as adults, despite the fact that L is fast approaching fifty-- “are good at what they do, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not the same without you and Torey. Hell, even David’s not himself.”
“You’ll get used to it.” Nicoletta pauses, glancing at something just out of frame. “Shit, I’ve got to go. Liam’s yelling about something. Look, you’re sure you okay? You sound...”
“Yeah.” Isabella smiles a beat too late. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”
***
11. the moon is blue
2008
Stefano is eighteen
Stefano is eighteen
On Sunday afternoons, Stefano leaves his small apartment for the sprawling park eight blocks over.
He finds a bench that he likes to think of as his own, one close enough to the playground while still far enough away that most parents left him alone. Sometimes he takes a book, sometimes he just sits and thinks. He breathes in the fresh air, he listens to the birds, and he watches with vague interest the families that surround him.
He tries not to think of his mother, his sister, even his father, over a hundred and fifty miles away.
He fails.
***
3. feeling blue
2058
Mina is sixty-five
Mina is sixty-five
Mina has been, for lack of a better word, detached for most of her life. It’s not as though she’s emotionally negligent in any way-- she experiences happiness and sadness like everyone else-- but she’s spent so much time inside her own head that it’s difficult to register most of what happens around her.
But then Vito dies. It’s stupid, it’s pointless, and it’s such a waste that whenever Mina thinks of it, a bottomless grief threatens to envelope her.
She extracts herself at dinner, walks to the bedroom, and closes the door with careful deliberation.
The tears come then.
***
18. the boys in blue
2013
Vito is eighteen
Vito is eighteen
The bar is packed, the speakers blaring out a great song, and the drinks are being made by unbelievably hot bartenders. Grinning, Vito excuses himself and weaves his way outside, dialing as he goes.
“Yeah?” Gino’s voice seems small compared to the noise spilling through the open doors behind him.
“It’s me,” Vito calls out. “I’m at this spot downtown, you and Ethan have got to get down here, man. It’s fucking amazing.”
“Uh. I think we’re just gonna stay here, but thanks. See you tomorrow?”
“Oh. Sure. Whatever. See you then.”
He hangs up and heads inside, swallowing disappointment.
***
1. singing the blues
2010
Gino is fifteen
Gino is fifteen
Gino doesn’t understand.
He doesn’t understand why no one else seems to need to do nothing but sprawl in bed, unable to eat or sleep. He doesn’t understand why sometimes it hurts to smile and laugh like everything’s okay when inside, it feels like the world is ending. He doesn’t understand how his mother’s concern only makes him feel worse, full of a self-loathing he can’t pin-point.
It’s like he’s the only one.
So he grits his teeth and forces himself through the motions until he’s better again, and he tries not to feel like the last man on earth.
***
20. Blue's Clues
2002
Gina Sophia is six
Gina Sophia is six
When Gina Sophia watches her friends with their fathers, she tries not to let her heartbreak show.
She imagines her father was a loud, big man, tall and strong, great for climbing on and with broad shoulders that would support her. At the same time, he was sure to be gentle and caring, always able to kiss a skinned knee or wipe away a stray tear. He was in love with her mother, deeply in love. She pictures him with dark hair like hers, a round face, and soft green eyes.
Gina Sophia aches for the father she never knew.
***
5. true blue
2045
Cristina is forty-seven
Cristina is forty-seven
What surprises her most is that her shit-stain of an ex-husband actually got custody.
No, that’s a lie, one that she’s been repeating to herself ever since Seamus first approached her with the idea. The real surprise, if Cristina is honest, is that Trevor could hate her so much, could hardly stand living with her.
At first she fought tooth and nail. Now that she knows how miserable her son was, she’s glad she gave in, even if that means losing her child to the one man she hates most.
These are the thoughts that Cristina refuses to dwell on.
***
9. blue plate special
2016
Elisabetta is sixteen
Elisabetta is sixteen
Lupus.
That’s what it all comes down to-- all the pain, the agony, the weariness and illness. Elisabetta has lupus and she will for the rest of her life.
Some days are fine. Some days she can hardly life her head from her pillow, unshed tears stinging her eyes. Cristina is unbearably understanding and their mothers care for her every need. Even her brothers make an effort to coax out a smile.
But Elisabetta has lupus and she’s the only one. She alone understands the pain, both physical and emotional, and she alone has to bear the brunt of it.
***
4. out of the blue
2004
Eva is three
Eva is three
She wants Mama.
Eva and Adamo go to stay with a nice lady and her husband. There are other kids to play with and the lady’s really good at feeding Adamo and making sure he gets attention when he cries. They get cookies and sometimes they even go to the park.
But whenever she asks for Mama, the adults say Mama’s gone and won’t be coming back, but she doesn’t believe them. Mama would never leave for good.
At night, Eva sneaks out of bed and spends forever watching her brother, holding his hand.
She wants Mama to come back.
***
10. blue collar
2021
Adamo is eighteen
Adamo is eighteen
Breaking up with Lance was the right thing to do, Adamo knows this. The guy’s a cheating drug addict, and a terrible boyfriend to boot.
But he still loves him. Despite himself, Adamo still loves him and nothing he tells himself stops the pain of watching his friends pair off into happy couples. Even worse is the moment when he learns that Lance has another boyfriend, a fellow drug user that he wastes no time in publicly displaying affection for.
There’s someone out there for him, sure. But it’d sure be nice if that someone would hurry up and arrive.
***
8. blueprint
2042
Maria is thirty-seven
Maria is thirty-seven
It comes so easily and naturally to other people.
Every moment of every day, Maria is calculating. She has to take each social interaction and weigh and compare it, meticulously working out her every reaction and expression, which emotions she should play subtly and which are overt. She can never stop, not for one minute, for fear of everything she’s worked for crumbling around her. Perfection and utter control are the standards of her life and every effort must be put forth in maintaining the right balance.
The others have no idea how wearying it is to be like them.
***
13. bluing
2007
Augusto is fifty-six
Augusto is fifty-six
Augusto takes a moment to collapse onto a folding chair. Nearby a group of his partners sit chatting and laughing, exchanging photos and anecdotes. A few of the older kids gather in the next room, while the babies are cooed and fawned over two tables away. In the kitchen, a couple of the women create a masterpiece of an impossibly large meal.
In a moment, someone will arrive to demand his time and attention and he’ll gladly share it. For now he remains on the peripherals of the party, hovering alone.
Augusto rises to his feet with a firm smile.
***
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And, judging from the rest, if only that, they aren't perfect, they can't be perfect, but they are still fascinating and different and full of their own lives too.
This is beautiful and you should be proud.