Chaos and Calamity (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rootsofthestories) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rainbowfic2015-08-15 05:46 pm
rootsofthestories) wrote in rainbowfic2015-08-15 05:46 pm
spilt ink
Name: Sebastian
Title: energy to believe.
Story: This City's Got Grace
Colors: Spilt Ink: 21. Just pretend you're in a movie. Be as brave and as full of love as the main character. Because we all need to believe in movies, sometimes.
Supplies: graffiti (Lilith Faire Village Stage)
Word Count: 331
Rating: PG
Warnings: Brief mention of medical intrusion
Notes: And the last one is a mid point between the first two stories. This works for me. I like things being in a vague order.
Sometimes she doesn't think she knows how to be a person. Sometimes, on the darkest days, she thinks they took that from her like they took everything else.
They touched her, examined her and made sure she was fit,. Hands were everywhere, touching her in the most intimate places and sizing her up for what they wanted.
Somewhere n all that, they touched a part of her, tainted it and made it rotting and broken, and on certain days, she feels like that was the piece of her that was most alive.
She pretends that it's not true, grabs hold of positive thinking with both hands and shoves it down her throat, but it's hard and it's tiring and she just doesn't always have it in her to keep those thoughts inside.
She knows she's not right, knows she's different and that, after the labs, her brain is made of different stuff. It's just that she wants to believe they didn't break her, that she comes out on the other end bright and glowing, fierce and able to take down anything.
She wants to believe she is a strong person, even after they tried to take everything form her.
But she can't say, can't see her as a heroine in a film, can't imagine her saving anyone, not even herself. It makes her angry but anger isn't anything like proof. It just means the rage inside her, the thing that makes her feel like she's on fire all the time, is winning out and isn't that a part of what they wanted. Something burning with the desire to break, the desire to turn the world into a bleeding thing?
She doesn't know, she doesn't know. She can hardly remember the things that were said to or around her in that place. She just knows what they did left her different, turned her nasty and dark.
She wants to believe in something better, something brighter, but the effort just leaves her tired.
Title: energy to believe.
Story: This City's Got Grace
Colors: Spilt Ink: 21. Just pretend you're in a movie. Be as brave and as full of love as the main character. Because we all need to believe in movies, sometimes.
Supplies: graffiti (Lilith Faire Village Stage)
Word Count: 331
Rating: PG
Warnings: Brief mention of medical intrusion
Notes: And the last one is a mid point between the first two stories. This works for me. I like things being in a vague order.
Sometimes she doesn't think she knows how to be a person. Sometimes, on the darkest days, she thinks they took that from her like they took everything else.
They touched her, examined her and made sure she was fit,. Hands were everywhere, touching her in the most intimate places and sizing her up for what they wanted.
Somewhere n all that, they touched a part of her, tainted it and made it rotting and broken, and on certain days, she feels like that was the piece of her that was most alive.
She pretends that it's not true, grabs hold of positive thinking with both hands and shoves it down her throat, but it's hard and it's tiring and she just doesn't always have it in her to keep those thoughts inside.
She knows she's not right, knows she's different and that, after the labs, her brain is made of different stuff. It's just that she wants to believe they didn't break her, that she comes out on the other end bright and glowing, fierce and able to take down anything.
She wants to believe she is a strong person, even after they tried to take everything form her.
But she can't say, can't see her as a heroine in a film, can't imagine her saving anyone, not even herself. It makes her angry but anger isn't anything like proof. It just means the rage inside her, the thing that makes her feel like she's on fire all the time, is winning out and isn't that a part of what they wanted. Something burning with the desire to break, the desire to turn the world into a bleeding thing?
She doesn't know, she doesn't know. She can hardly remember the things that were said to or around her in that place. She just knows what they did left her different, turned her nasty and dark.
She wants to believe in something better, something brighter, but the effort just leaves her tired.
no subject
no subject
Yeah, I think I have a thing for People Who Survive. Which isn't to say that I don't have people who've not been through stuff, I just find the ones who have are, more often, louder
no subject
no subject
Yeeeah, the Labs are not good places.
no subject
no subject
She does, she does.
no subject
*hugs Hel if she'll allow it and gives zen hugs if not*
no subject
She appreciates it, though she would probably refrain from hugs. At this point she's still not entirely sure if she sin't some kind of fucked up poison to be around.