Geena (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
geena) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rainbowfic2012-03-08 06:35 pm
geena) wrote in rainbowfic2012-03-08 06:35 pm
Jade and Royal Purple
Author: geena
Colors: Jade and Royal Purple
Supplies and Styles: Bichrome, saturation, eraser, fabric, novelty beads ("Bring me the sunset in a cup" - Emily Dickinson)
Rating: G
Word Count: 2,938
Story: Polyfaceted (Index~Timeline); the title of this story is Revisionism.
Summary: After losing the love of his life in childbirth, Augustine slowly learns romance and joy once again. Thanks to Anne.
Notes: This is the Historical AU, an AU in which the Corlioni family (known as the Corels) are in vague Tudor-era England. There's lots that has yet to unfold in this AU, but for know, you should know that Mary is Martina, Augustine is Augusto, Anne is Arianna, Elisabeth is Lea, Torey's dead because leukemia still happened, and basically any family of any stature would send away a child who was clearly developmentally disabled, which is the unfortunate case for Teresa. Prepare to see lots of this AU.
***
10. Together we shared both bitter and sweet/Expecting a hundred years of love -- Jade
3. God gives to whom He wishes -- Royal Purple
She does not go peacefully.
The birth is a difficult one, even for Mary-- their previous sons took their toll on her and even Teresa was not an easy time. So when the physicians and priest pull Augustine aside and quietly inform him that there is nothing they can do, he strides into the bedchamber and straight to her side.
Mary is incoherent. She doesn’t recognize him, doesn’t even see him, and after five fruitless minutes of trying to say his goodbyes, Augustine leaves her to the care of professionals. He can hear the low intones of the priest reciting the last rites as he leaves the room.
He’s needed by his son.
***
2. In our place, it sheds a tear at dawn -- Jade
4. The welfare of the state, my welfare -- Royal Purple
He christens the child David, after the great King of ancient times. Leaving the matters of finding a wet nurse and arranging the nursery to others, Augustine heads straight for the stables, saddling his beloved Andalusian and taking off for the farthest fields, past the river and beyond the knoll. He doesn’t slow until he realizes he’s screaming, tears streaming down his face.
He slows the horse to a gentle canter.
His Mary is gone.
***
13. My son, mistaken, is pleased by my ruddy face/I smile: I know it's alcoholic red -- Jade
8. In my defense God me defend -- Royal Purple
They bury her beside their first son, the knowledge of mother and child reunited easing the sharp sting of pain. It’s a lovely service though short, for Augustine is already expected back at court. Immediately after his wife is interred, he heads to his chambers to take care of the final preparations for his journey.
“Papa?” Young John hovers in the doorway. His face is pale and streaked with tears, his clothes disheveled and already ill-fitting. Augustine will have to speak with the servants about his appearance. “Papa, are you leaving?”
“I’m expected in London,” is all he’ll say.
“When will you come back?”
Augustine can’t bear the thought of ever returning to this now-empty homestead. “You’ll mind your caretakers. I’ll write as soon as I arrive. Perhaps for Christmas...” He trails off.
John straightens, pulling himself up to his full height. “I will take care of things. I’ll be the master of the household while you’re gone.”
Augustine’s eyes sting. “I rest easy knowing I leave my affairs in such capable hands.” Allowing himself a quick kiss on the boy’s cheek, he adds, “Come. See me off.”
He doesn’t return to the estate for nine months.
***
1. This morning's scene is good and fine/Long rain has not harmed the land -- Jade
14. From near and afar -- Royal Purple
For a year, Augustine grieves.
He works. He travels. He hunts. He consoles himself with the company of Gabriella, distracting himself with visits with John and little Elisabeth. In all this time, he can hardly bear to gaze upon baby David for longer than a few brief seconds at a time.
He exists, but he doesn’t live.
Then one day, midway through Michaelmas festivities, he spots the younger sister of a visiting duke dancing with the other ladies of court, graceful and glowing in her every movement. Something in him changes and he finds himself asking those around just who this enchanting young woman is.
“Anne, they call her,” the neighbor to his left supplies. “I believe her name is Lady Anne.”
Anne, his heart sings.
He vows to speak with her at the next possible opportunity.
***
7. In my dream we were far apart, I found it hard to call/Hurriedly I try to write, but find the ink too thin -- Jade
1. By prudence and steadfastness -- Royal Purple
It takes three full days for Augustine to fabricate a reason to see her.
He spends his free moments talking with her brother, gaining his friendship and confidence in hopes of meeting her. It isn’t until a late supper with the duke that their paths cross.
“Lady Fabian,” he says in greeting, “how wonderful to finally make your acquaintance. Your brother the duke speaks highly of you.”
“You flatter me.” Her voice is melodic. “I’ve heard much of you.”
“Good things, I should hope.”
Anne smiles, piercing him. “Of course. Only the best.”
It’s an auspicious beginning.
***
4. I climb up high and look on the four seas/Heaven and earth spreading out so far -- Jade
12. In this sign you will conquer -- Royal Purple
When at court, Augustine spends his every waking moment in the company of Anne, doing all he can to coax along their blossoming friendship. To his surprise, he finds himself falling in love-- not in the way he loves Gabriella and certainly not in the way he loved Mary, but love all the same. Gabriella is a mistress and Mary was his other half, but sweet, compassionate Anne is something precious in her own right.
Once he’s aware of the depth of his regard, he approaches her brother with trepidation.
“Anne?” The Duke raises an eyebrow, sitting comfortably behind the large desk in his private chambers. “You wish to marry Anne?”
“I am held in high favor of the king,” Augustine nervously reminds him. “I have a secure position and even greater promise. My family is--”
“I know all about your family.”
Augustine swallows hard. The Corels, though blessed with status and wealth, are largely considered to be a family of mere upstarts. “She could hardly find a better match in terms of my affection for her.”
“I see.” Duke purses his lips for a moment before waving a dismissive hand. “Very well. You make a sound argument. Everyone knows that the Corels will be going far in this world and I’d be a fool to not secure the ties between our families. Let me speak with Anne, of course, but we can draw up the terms of the betrothal later this week.”
Augustine is weak with relief.
***
5. The spirit I dream can't get through, the mountain pass is hard/Long yearning/Breaks my heart -- Jade
5. The love of the people my reward -- Royal Purple
Their love is passionate, though still primarily chaste. He maintains the strictest respectability around Anne, and while he aches to touch and kiss her, the waiting only enhances the prize.
After a week of this sweet agony, he steels himself for what he must do and presents himself for an audience with Anne. They retire to a quiet corner of the queen’s rooms, in plain sight of everyone else but with an illusion of privacy between them.
“There are things I must tell you, things you deserve to know before we marry,” Augustine begins. Once he’s started, he finds it impossible to stop and the words come pouring out. He tells her about sweet Teresa, now sequestered at the convent after it became clear that she would never be right. He tells her about Elisabeth, his daughter by the youngest French princess, and how while Gabriella is his mistress, he loves her as much as he loves Anne. He tells her about Mary’s death and the darkness that brought into his life. He talks and talks until she’s called away by her duties, and then he returns to his rooms to write her long, passionate letters detailing all the rest.
It isn’t until two days later that Anne finds him. “I’m lucky to have the chance at a love match like ours,” she demurely assures him. “Husbands have their dalliances, every wife knows this. If you love her--”
“I do. But I also love you and it’s you that I wish to wed.”
The corners of Anne’s mouth lift just slightly. “I know. I can share your love, if the only other choice is losing it.”
Augustine watches her for a long minute. “Can you be happy that way?”
“With you, I’m guaranteed happiness.”
***
14. A distant heart will tend towards like places -- Jade
10. Unity gives strength -- Royal Purple
They marry quickly for no reason other than their impatience. For nearly a month Gabriella refuses to speak with him, but he’s explained time and again that he can hardly be expected to wed his mistress. He misses her, but not as much as he would were he not in Anne’s company.
Anne is heavenly. She grows more beautiful by the day and she immediately takes to the children as though through natural instinct. John is wary of her at first, not that Augustine can begrudge his loyalty to his mother. But the baby, David, is quickly taken in by Anne’s soft speech and warm smile. She spends hours in the nursery, coaxing giggles and toddling steps from him.
It makes it easier for Augustine to look at his youngest son.
After a few weeks on their estate, the happy couple is forced to return to court. Tearful goodbyes prelude their parting with the children, but Anne promises that they will return to visit soon. John proudly declares that he will write them every day and Augustine is filled with a loathing to leave his happy family unlike ever before. The death of Mary rests heavily in his mind, for if it could happen to her, it could happen to any of his loved ones.
Two days into their travels, Anne turns to Augustine and quietly makes her request. “I’d like to meet your daughter. I should like to be close to all my stepchildren.”
“Elisabeth?” he asks fearfully, knowing that Gabriella will never allow this woman she considers a usurper to spend any substantial time with her child.
“No. Teresa.”
He loves Anne more than ever in that moment.
***
3. The new year's come, but still the plants don't grow -- Jade
7. God and my right shall me defend -- Royal Purple
The detour extends their trip by only half a day. Augustine does his best to prepare Anne for her meeting with Teresa, explaining yet again that her birth was nearly as difficult as David’s and that such an ordeal is bound to leave its mark. He provides her with a letter detailing the reasons for her arrival at the convent, so the Sisters know to allow this visit. After a moment’s thought he quickly includes a note for Teresa herself-- someone can read it to her.
He waits down the road, enjoying a nervous yet leisurely lunch with the few men they’ve brought along. All of Anne’s ladies accompany her, as well as a guard or two, and it occurs to Augustine that this is the most he’s spent away from his new bride since the wedding. His eagerness for her return grows.
When the swirling dust of the road heralds her return, he rises to meet her. There’s a great commotion as the two groups merge into one once more, and in the flurry of activity he manages to pull her aside. “Well?”
Anne smiles, tilting her head back to meet his gaze. “She’s beautiful. Clever, too, you can see it in her eyes. She latched on to me right away, though I’m not sure she understood who I was. Teresa’s so gentle.” Here, she hesitates. “She spoke. Not well and very little, but they say she’s begun to say a few words, even sentences. “
Augustine blinks. “She’s speaking?”
Resting a gentle hand on his arm, Anne nods. “Teresa’s flourishing.”
Clearing his throat, it’s in a curious state of elation, pride, and despair that Augustine suggests they continue their journey.
***
6. Towards evening my thoughts became uncomfortable -- Jade
15. The third remains in heaven before it fills up the world -- Royal Purple
“A child?” He’s dumbfounded.
“Yes,” Anne confirms, not without obvious reluctance. “I-I believe we can expect the birth near Christmastime.”
“A child,” Augustine repeats. Carefully, he lowers himself into a nearby chair.
Anne swallows, casting her gaze downward. “Are you... displeased?” Her voice is nearly inaudible.
He can hardly believe he’s heard her correctly. “Displeased? Why on earth would I be displeased? We’re going to have a child!” Laughing, he pulls her onto his lap, covering her face and neck with soft, pecking kisses. “A child!” She can’t help but join in his excitement, tension visibly easing from her shoulders.
In the back of his mind, blind terror takes root.
***
15. Come dusk, at the bend of a deserted pool/Through meditation I controlled passion's dragon -- Jade
2. With piety and justice -- Royal Purple
At first, it’s easy to hold on to that joy, relishing the way Anne begins to grow, the way her entire being lights up. Every night they lie awake until the early morning making plans for this baby, the first of their own. Augustine has other children, of course, but there’s a newness to this experience that makes him giddy and breathless.
Then Anne goes into her confinement and he’s struck with that last image of Mary lying in a bed drenched in her own blood. He remember the fearful way she screamed until she had no strength left, while her own life slipped away.
He can’t sleep for all his fear, devoting his every free moment to prayer. An iciness grips his very soul. Augustine throws himself into his work, driving himself to the brink of utter exhaustion until one afternoon a messenger appears and he’s forced to hear the boy’s devastating words.
“A son, milord. The duchess has given birth to a son.”
Augustine’s head swirls.
***
9. A thousand hills, but no birds in flight/Ten thousand paths, with no person's tracks -- Jade
9. Wisdom is the prop of the realm -- Royal Purple
“Arthur,” Anne decides after a few moments of silence. “I wish to call him Arthur.” She cradles the baby in the crook of her arm, beaming down at him despite her evident exhaustion.
Augustine gently runs a finger over the curve of his new son’s head. “He will be a king among men,” he agrees. “And you? You’re sure you’re feeling well? Childbirth is a difficult--”
“My sweet, devoted husband.” Anne turns her attention toward him, the pleasure in her expression diminishing not one bit. “I won’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt, or that the ordeal didn’t tire me, but when I look at what we’re created, I know-- well. I hardly remember any of that. I’m fine.”
He wavers. “The doctor did commend your strength.”
“Then there’s no need for your worry.” She pulls the baby closer, kissing the soft skin of his forehead. “And you?”
“And me?”
Anne faces him, frankness in her eyes. “I know how difficult the past few months have been for you. The doubt and the fear. I know that losing Mary hurt you in a way that even I can’t heal. There’s no need to hide it. I see the way you look at young David, with pain and resentment surrounding your affection. I know you, Augustine.” She lifts a hand, cupping his cheek. “Are you well?”
Her concern surprises him until he realizes that, yes, of course this wonderful, sensitive woman would see right through his defenses.
Augustine softens. “Seeing you with our son affirms my newfound knowledge that all is right in the world. I have my shortcomings, but you make me want to eradicate them. I love you, Anne. I was terrified, and I’d like to think I had just cause, and yet all of that has seemed to just melt away.”
Arthur stirs, letting out a wail that blurs his father’s vision.
***
11. I slumbered this spring morning, and missed the dawn -- Jade
13. With law shall the land be built -- Royal Purple
After the baptism and once Arthur is strong enough for the journey-- which, admittedly, takes longer than Augustine has the patience for-- they return to their favorite estate with haste. John meets them outside the gates, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he struggles to rein in excitement at their return.
“Papa!” he cries out, rushing forward. “Is that him? How long are you staying? Can I see Arthur?”
Augustine shares a smile with Anne before halting their train in order to lift his heir onto a spot before him on the horse. Truly, his son is a bit old for such spoiling, but he will always have a soft spot for this brilliant boy. “We’re home until June, so you’ll have plenty of time to spend with your brother.”
“And Elisabeth? Can I see her also?”
Wincing at the indelicate situation his son has put him into by mentioning his illegitimate daughter in front of Anne, he’s interrupted by his darling wife replying, “Of course. If she can’t travel to see us, you and your father will just have to travel to her.”
John glows. “And David?”
“Certainly.” Augustine’s heart clenches at the mention of him. “Certainly, him too. Now, tell me, how have your studies been?”
***
12. Riches and honours are floating clouds/Look down, look up, the years flow on, twenty springs have passed -- Jade
6. The one protects the two -- Royal Purple
By the time they reach the great house, Augustine is more at ease than he’s felt for months. He parts from the rest of his family with promises to join them later for a meal, seeing to the unloading of their trunks and the care of the horses with the same careful and commanding presence as he’s grown to be known for. By the time he’s convinced every last detail has been looked after, there’s still more than an hour left before he’s expected to join the others.
Casually, in a way that fools no one but himself, Augustine heads to the nursery.
He dismisses the servants upon his arrival, announcing his intent to spend time with David. There’s a moment of disbelief in their eyes and when he realizes that this is the first time he’s made such a gesture, he can’t blame them.
“It’s my wish,” he insists, gathering a squirming David into his arms. “Leave us.”
One by one, the room empties and Augustine is left alone with his son.
“David.” There’s uncertainty in his voice and he’s sure the child knows it. “How are you?”
David rears back, wiggling wildly. “Want down.”
For over two years Augustine has barely touched his son, let alone held him. He can’t imagine what is racing through his mind at this sudden closeness. “No, no, David. It’s me. Your father.”
“Down!”
Augustine crumples. Mentally cringing, he desperately tries one last time. “I’m so sorry, son. I love you. I am so sorry.”
For a second, the young boy seems to consider this. “Lub you, Papa.” He leans in, squeezing his arms around Augustine tightly before pulling away. “Want down.”
Augustine sets his son down, unashamed by the wetness on his cheeks.
***
8. My idle dreams roam far -- Jade
11. Further beyond -- Royal Purple
Taking a break from his duties, Augustine wanders into the gardens to watch Anne and the nurses chase the children through the paths. Arthur is of to the side with one of the servants, safe under the shade of the great willow, but John and David are enthralled by the game, shrieking with laughter as they race and dart around, always just out of reach. During a free second or two, Anne catches his eye and grins, lifting her hand in greeting before turning back to scoop David into her arms and smother him with kisses as he cries out.
Augustine is at peace at last.
He raises his face to the sky, closes his eyes, and thinks of Mary.
***
geenaColors: Jade and Royal Purple
Supplies and Styles: Bichrome, saturation, eraser, fabric, novelty beads ("Bring me the sunset in a cup" - Emily Dickinson)
Rating: G
Word Count: 2,938
Story: Polyfaceted (Index~Timeline); the title of this story is Revisionism.
Summary: After losing the love of his life in childbirth, Augustine slowly learns romance and joy once again. Thanks to Anne.
Notes: This is the Historical AU, an AU in which the Corlioni family (known as the Corels) are in vague Tudor-era England. There's lots that has yet to unfold in this AU, but for know, you should know that Mary is Martina, Augustine is Augusto, Anne is Arianna, Elisabeth is Lea, Torey's dead because leukemia still happened, and basically any family of any stature would send away a child who was clearly developmentally disabled, which is the unfortunate case for Teresa. Prepare to see lots of this AU.
***
10. Together we shared both bitter and sweet/Expecting a hundred years of love -- Jade
3. God gives to whom He wishes -- Royal Purple
She does not go peacefully.
The birth is a difficult one, even for Mary-- their previous sons took their toll on her and even Teresa was not an easy time. So when the physicians and priest pull Augustine aside and quietly inform him that there is nothing they can do, he strides into the bedchamber and straight to her side.
Mary is incoherent. She doesn’t recognize him, doesn’t even see him, and after five fruitless minutes of trying to say his goodbyes, Augustine leaves her to the care of professionals. He can hear the low intones of the priest reciting the last rites as he leaves the room.
He’s needed by his son.
***
2. In our place, it sheds a tear at dawn -- Jade
4. The welfare of the state, my welfare -- Royal Purple
He christens the child David, after the great King of ancient times. Leaving the matters of finding a wet nurse and arranging the nursery to others, Augustine heads straight for the stables, saddling his beloved Andalusian and taking off for the farthest fields, past the river and beyond the knoll. He doesn’t slow until he realizes he’s screaming, tears streaming down his face.
He slows the horse to a gentle canter.
His Mary is gone.
***
13. My son, mistaken, is pleased by my ruddy face/I smile: I know it's alcoholic red -- Jade
8. In my defense God me defend -- Royal Purple
They bury her beside their first son, the knowledge of mother and child reunited easing the sharp sting of pain. It’s a lovely service though short, for Augustine is already expected back at court. Immediately after his wife is interred, he heads to his chambers to take care of the final preparations for his journey.
“Papa?” Young John hovers in the doorway. His face is pale and streaked with tears, his clothes disheveled and already ill-fitting. Augustine will have to speak with the servants about his appearance. “Papa, are you leaving?”
“I’m expected in London,” is all he’ll say.
“When will you come back?”
Augustine can’t bear the thought of ever returning to this now-empty homestead. “You’ll mind your caretakers. I’ll write as soon as I arrive. Perhaps for Christmas...” He trails off.
John straightens, pulling himself up to his full height. “I will take care of things. I’ll be the master of the household while you’re gone.”
Augustine’s eyes sting. “I rest easy knowing I leave my affairs in such capable hands.” Allowing himself a quick kiss on the boy’s cheek, he adds, “Come. See me off.”
He doesn’t return to the estate for nine months.
***
1. This morning's scene is good and fine/Long rain has not harmed the land -- Jade
14. From near and afar -- Royal Purple
For a year, Augustine grieves.
He works. He travels. He hunts. He consoles himself with the company of Gabriella, distracting himself with visits with John and little Elisabeth. In all this time, he can hardly bear to gaze upon baby David for longer than a few brief seconds at a time.
He exists, but he doesn’t live.
Then one day, midway through Michaelmas festivities, he spots the younger sister of a visiting duke dancing with the other ladies of court, graceful and glowing in her every movement. Something in him changes and he finds himself asking those around just who this enchanting young woman is.
“Anne, they call her,” the neighbor to his left supplies. “I believe her name is Lady Anne.”
Anne, his heart sings.
He vows to speak with her at the next possible opportunity.
***
7. In my dream we were far apart, I found it hard to call/Hurriedly I try to write, but find the ink too thin -- Jade
1. By prudence and steadfastness -- Royal Purple
It takes three full days for Augustine to fabricate a reason to see her.
He spends his free moments talking with her brother, gaining his friendship and confidence in hopes of meeting her. It isn’t until a late supper with the duke that their paths cross.
“Lady Fabian,” he says in greeting, “how wonderful to finally make your acquaintance. Your brother the duke speaks highly of you.”
“You flatter me.” Her voice is melodic. “I’ve heard much of you.”
“Good things, I should hope.”
Anne smiles, piercing him. “Of course. Only the best.”
It’s an auspicious beginning.
***
4. I climb up high and look on the four seas/Heaven and earth spreading out so far -- Jade
12. In this sign you will conquer -- Royal Purple
When at court, Augustine spends his every waking moment in the company of Anne, doing all he can to coax along their blossoming friendship. To his surprise, he finds himself falling in love-- not in the way he loves Gabriella and certainly not in the way he loved Mary, but love all the same. Gabriella is a mistress and Mary was his other half, but sweet, compassionate Anne is something precious in her own right.
Once he’s aware of the depth of his regard, he approaches her brother with trepidation.
“Anne?” The Duke raises an eyebrow, sitting comfortably behind the large desk in his private chambers. “You wish to marry Anne?”
“I am held in high favor of the king,” Augustine nervously reminds him. “I have a secure position and even greater promise. My family is--”
“I know all about your family.”
Augustine swallows hard. The Corels, though blessed with status and wealth, are largely considered to be a family of mere upstarts. “She could hardly find a better match in terms of my affection for her.”
“I see.” Duke purses his lips for a moment before waving a dismissive hand. “Very well. You make a sound argument. Everyone knows that the Corels will be going far in this world and I’d be a fool to not secure the ties between our families. Let me speak with Anne, of course, but we can draw up the terms of the betrothal later this week.”
Augustine is weak with relief.
***
5. The spirit I dream can't get through, the mountain pass is hard/Long yearning/Breaks my heart -- Jade
5. The love of the people my reward -- Royal Purple
Their love is passionate, though still primarily chaste. He maintains the strictest respectability around Anne, and while he aches to touch and kiss her, the waiting only enhances the prize.
After a week of this sweet agony, he steels himself for what he must do and presents himself for an audience with Anne. They retire to a quiet corner of the queen’s rooms, in plain sight of everyone else but with an illusion of privacy between them.
“There are things I must tell you, things you deserve to know before we marry,” Augustine begins. Once he’s started, he finds it impossible to stop and the words come pouring out. He tells her about sweet Teresa, now sequestered at the convent after it became clear that she would never be right. He tells her about Elisabeth, his daughter by the youngest French princess, and how while Gabriella is his mistress, he loves her as much as he loves Anne. He tells her about Mary’s death and the darkness that brought into his life. He talks and talks until she’s called away by her duties, and then he returns to his rooms to write her long, passionate letters detailing all the rest.
It isn’t until two days later that Anne finds him. “I’m lucky to have the chance at a love match like ours,” she demurely assures him. “Husbands have their dalliances, every wife knows this. If you love her--”
“I do. But I also love you and it’s you that I wish to wed.”
The corners of Anne’s mouth lift just slightly. “I know. I can share your love, if the only other choice is losing it.”
Augustine watches her for a long minute. “Can you be happy that way?”
“With you, I’m guaranteed happiness.”
***
14. A distant heart will tend towards like places -- Jade
10. Unity gives strength -- Royal Purple
They marry quickly for no reason other than their impatience. For nearly a month Gabriella refuses to speak with him, but he’s explained time and again that he can hardly be expected to wed his mistress. He misses her, but not as much as he would were he not in Anne’s company.
Anne is heavenly. She grows more beautiful by the day and she immediately takes to the children as though through natural instinct. John is wary of her at first, not that Augustine can begrudge his loyalty to his mother. But the baby, David, is quickly taken in by Anne’s soft speech and warm smile. She spends hours in the nursery, coaxing giggles and toddling steps from him.
It makes it easier for Augustine to look at his youngest son.
After a few weeks on their estate, the happy couple is forced to return to court. Tearful goodbyes prelude their parting with the children, but Anne promises that they will return to visit soon. John proudly declares that he will write them every day and Augustine is filled with a loathing to leave his happy family unlike ever before. The death of Mary rests heavily in his mind, for if it could happen to her, it could happen to any of his loved ones.
Two days into their travels, Anne turns to Augustine and quietly makes her request. “I’d like to meet your daughter. I should like to be close to all my stepchildren.”
“Elisabeth?” he asks fearfully, knowing that Gabriella will never allow this woman she considers a usurper to spend any substantial time with her child.
“No. Teresa.”
He loves Anne more than ever in that moment.
***
3. The new year's come, but still the plants don't grow -- Jade
7. God and my right shall me defend -- Royal Purple
The detour extends their trip by only half a day. Augustine does his best to prepare Anne for her meeting with Teresa, explaining yet again that her birth was nearly as difficult as David’s and that such an ordeal is bound to leave its mark. He provides her with a letter detailing the reasons for her arrival at the convent, so the Sisters know to allow this visit. After a moment’s thought he quickly includes a note for Teresa herself-- someone can read it to her.
He waits down the road, enjoying a nervous yet leisurely lunch with the few men they’ve brought along. All of Anne’s ladies accompany her, as well as a guard or two, and it occurs to Augustine that this is the most he’s spent away from his new bride since the wedding. His eagerness for her return grows.
When the swirling dust of the road heralds her return, he rises to meet her. There’s a great commotion as the two groups merge into one once more, and in the flurry of activity he manages to pull her aside. “Well?”
Anne smiles, tilting her head back to meet his gaze. “She’s beautiful. Clever, too, you can see it in her eyes. She latched on to me right away, though I’m not sure she understood who I was. Teresa’s so gentle.” Here, she hesitates. “She spoke. Not well and very little, but they say she’s begun to say a few words, even sentences. “
Augustine blinks. “She’s speaking?”
Resting a gentle hand on his arm, Anne nods. “Teresa’s flourishing.”
Clearing his throat, it’s in a curious state of elation, pride, and despair that Augustine suggests they continue their journey.
***
6. Towards evening my thoughts became uncomfortable -- Jade
15. The third remains in heaven before it fills up the world -- Royal Purple
“A child?” He’s dumbfounded.
“Yes,” Anne confirms, not without obvious reluctance. “I-I believe we can expect the birth near Christmastime.”
“A child,” Augustine repeats. Carefully, he lowers himself into a nearby chair.
Anne swallows, casting her gaze downward. “Are you... displeased?” Her voice is nearly inaudible.
He can hardly believe he’s heard her correctly. “Displeased? Why on earth would I be displeased? We’re going to have a child!” Laughing, he pulls her onto his lap, covering her face and neck with soft, pecking kisses. “A child!” She can’t help but join in his excitement, tension visibly easing from her shoulders.
In the back of his mind, blind terror takes root.
***
15. Come dusk, at the bend of a deserted pool/Through meditation I controlled passion's dragon -- Jade
2. With piety and justice -- Royal Purple
At first, it’s easy to hold on to that joy, relishing the way Anne begins to grow, the way her entire being lights up. Every night they lie awake until the early morning making plans for this baby, the first of their own. Augustine has other children, of course, but there’s a newness to this experience that makes him giddy and breathless.
Then Anne goes into her confinement and he’s struck with that last image of Mary lying in a bed drenched in her own blood. He remember the fearful way she screamed until she had no strength left, while her own life slipped away.
He can’t sleep for all his fear, devoting his every free moment to prayer. An iciness grips his very soul. Augustine throws himself into his work, driving himself to the brink of utter exhaustion until one afternoon a messenger appears and he’s forced to hear the boy’s devastating words.
“A son, milord. The duchess has given birth to a son.”
Augustine’s head swirls.
***
9. A thousand hills, but no birds in flight/Ten thousand paths, with no person's tracks -- Jade
9. Wisdom is the prop of the realm -- Royal Purple
“Arthur,” Anne decides after a few moments of silence. “I wish to call him Arthur.” She cradles the baby in the crook of her arm, beaming down at him despite her evident exhaustion.
Augustine gently runs a finger over the curve of his new son’s head. “He will be a king among men,” he agrees. “And you? You’re sure you’re feeling well? Childbirth is a difficult--”
“My sweet, devoted husband.” Anne turns her attention toward him, the pleasure in her expression diminishing not one bit. “I won’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt, or that the ordeal didn’t tire me, but when I look at what we’re created, I know-- well. I hardly remember any of that. I’m fine.”
He wavers. “The doctor did commend your strength.”
“Then there’s no need for your worry.” She pulls the baby closer, kissing the soft skin of his forehead. “And you?”
“And me?”
Anne faces him, frankness in her eyes. “I know how difficult the past few months have been for you. The doubt and the fear. I know that losing Mary hurt you in a way that even I can’t heal. There’s no need to hide it. I see the way you look at young David, with pain and resentment surrounding your affection. I know you, Augustine.” She lifts a hand, cupping his cheek. “Are you well?”
Her concern surprises him until he realizes that, yes, of course this wonderful, sensitive woman would see right through his defenses.
Augustine softens. “Seeing you with our son affirms my newfound knowledge that all is right in the world. I have my shortcomings, but you make me want to eradicate them. I love you, Anne. I was terrified, and I’d like to think I had just cause, and yet all of that has seemed to just melt away.”
Arthur stirs, letting out a wail that blurs his father’s vision.
***
11. I slumbered this spring morning, and missed the dawn -- Jade
13. With law shall the land be built -- Royal Purple
After the baptism and once Arthur is strong enough for the journey-- which, admittedly, takes longer than Augustine has the patience for-- they return to their favorite estate with haste. John meets them outside the gates, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he struggles to rein in excitement at their return.
“Papa!” he cries out, rushing forward. “Is that him? How long are you staying? Can I see Arthur?”
Augustine shares a smile with Anne before halting their train in order to lift his heir onto a spot before him on the horse. Truly, his son is a bit old for such spoiling, but he will always have a soft spot for this brilliant boy. “We’re home until June, so you’ll have plenty of time to spend with your brother.”
“And Elisabeth? Can I see her also?”
Wincing at the indelicate situation his son has put him into by mentioning his illegitimate daughter in front of Anne, he’s interrupted by his darling wife replying, “Of course. If she can’t travel to see us, you and your father will just have to travel to her.”
John glows. “And David?”
“Certainly.” Augustine’s heart clenches at the mention of him. “Certainly, him too. Now, tell me, how have your studies been?”
***
12. Riches and honours are floating clouds/Look down, look up, the years flow on, twenty springs have passed -- Jade
6. The one protects the two -- Royal Purple
By the time they reach the great house, Augustine is more at ease than he’s felt for months. He parts from the rest of his family with promises to join them later for a meal, seeing to the unloading of their trunks and the care of the horses with the same careful and commanding presence as he’s grown to be known for. By the time he’s convinced every last detail has been looked after, there’s still more than an hour left before he’s expected to join the others.
Casually, in a way that fools no one but himself, Augustine heads to the nursery.
He dismisses the servants upon his arrival, announcing his intent to spend time with David. There’s a moment of disbelief in their eyes and when he realizes that this is the first time he’s made such a gesture, he can’t blame them.
“It’s my wish,” he insists, gathering a squirming David into his arms. “Leave us.”
One by one, the room empties and Augustine is left alone with his son.
“David.” There’s uncertainty in his voice and he’s sure the child knows it. “How are you?”
David rears back, wiggling wildly. “Want down.”
For over two years Augustine has barely touched his son, let alone held him. He can’t imagine what is racing through his mind at this sudden closeness. “No, no, David. It’s me. Your father.”
“Down!”
Augustine crumples. Mentally cringing, he desperately tries one last time. “I’m so sorry, son. I love you. I am so sorry.”
For a second, the young boy seems to consider this. “Lub you, Papa.” He leans in, squeezing his arms around Augustine tightly before pulling away. “Want down.”
Augustine sets his son down, unashamed by the wetness on his cheeks.
***
8. My idle dreams roam far -- Jade
11. Further beyond -- Royal Purple
Taking a break from his duties, Augustine wanders into the gardens to watch Anne and the nurses chase the children through the paths. Arthur is of to the side with one of the servants, safe under the shade of the great willow, but John and David are enthralled by the game, shrieking with laughter as they race and dart around, always just out of reach. During a free second or two, Anne catches his eye and grins, lifting her hand in greeting before turning back to scoop David into her arms and smother him with kisses as he cries out.
Augustine is at peace at last.
He raises his face to the sky, closes his eyes, and thinks of Mary.
***
no subject
no subject
Thank you!
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
You just put everything I love in one neat and tidy package, with brilliant writing to boot. Elizabethan times, second loves, more than one love, family turmoil, created families, different kinds of love, HISTORY, Polyfaceted...
Geena, I swear, if you weren't already married I would propose.
no subject
Thank you!
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Sara, I have a document that is basically just a massive list of notes for this AU. it's eating my brain.
Thanks!
no subject