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rainbowfic2015-03-20 06:07 pm
novel_machinist) wrote in rainbowfic2015-03-20 06:07 pm
Entry tags:
Octarine 29 I'm on everyone's side. It'd be nice if, just for once, someone was on mine
Author: novel_machinist
Story: The Coward Guardian
Theme: Literary / Octarine
Word Count: 1548
Summary: Alina is depressed, completely and wholly depressed. She needs a change that she'll fall into by chance.
Rating: R
Warnings: Major talk about depression. Introspection into a severely depressed character. Physical harm to a character during angry lashing out. Please let me know if I need anything else.
Notes: I'm really trying to get back into writing regularly. If you like what you see, feel free to mosey over toroost to catch my other original work.
There was nothing. That was the crushing truth of the world according to Alina. It wasn't that she cared - the nothingness had long since erased her self loathing. She'd left medical school with nothing to show for it but debt that somehow rivaled the depths of her depression.
Once she had a passion for medicine, so much so that when the nothingness started to creep in - before it had oozed over her ability to feel anger - the sheer rage at what she used to be able to feel pushed her away. She pushed a lot that year, anger flowed as if it needed to rush out to escape the void that threatened to claim it along with her happiness. She pushed away her family, including a younger sister that adored her. She shoved off and offended friends and she didn't even bother to pay her phone bill.
The stock job that she slithered into included one drug addict 12 years her senior, a smattering of alcoholics in ages that spanned Santana's career, an overzealous Christian, and a manager 10 years her junior.
In it's own way the nothingness was comfortable. Everything else was a mere inconvenience to it. Eventually, like the the Illuminations era alcoholic, she stopped going to work. When the electricity got shut off, she didn't care. Eventually, she assumed, she would get kicked out as her rent was past due by some length of time that she wasn't keeping track of. When there was a knock on the door, she simply assumed it was finally that time, so she didn't answer.
When the knocking continued, she sighed and made her way to the door. It was not her landlord and that confused her; there was really no reason for an extremely attractive older gentleman to be at her door at all. When his expression grew grim and he told her about a debt that had to be paid, she was wondered if the mob had come after her.
But that was silly, student loans didn't have hit men. She was 100% certain that they didn't have attractive ones, at the very least. He wrinkled his proud nose and muttered "you smell".
She had something resembling vanity and clenched her jaw. "Who are you?"
"We... have business, could you ... clean yourself up?"
"No." She slammed the door in his face and sighed. She did not have room in the nothingness for any older attractive men.
He banged on the door. "Miss Garmond!"
Fine, if he wanted to bang on the door, she WOULD take a shower, just to avoid hearing him. Shockingly, she still had shampoo and the water pressure and gas heat worked just fine. The hot water was simply there, as was the fluffy and somewhat musty towel. She didn't want to, but automatically her body wiped the condensation from the mirror. The face she saw disgusted her.
She looked nothing like one of her old medschool companions, a woman who wore her size 24 frame like a classical painting of what it was to be womanhood. Instead, she looked ashen, her once dark skin seemed to be a film over cheap chocolate pudding. For a moment vanity sparked that rage that apparently refused to be swallowed by the void. Reflexively, she slammed her fist into the mirror in the same way that she broke boards in Tae Kwon Do tournaments once upon a time.
The fine grains of glass blazed up her hand and forearm. The feeling of pain surprised her and Alina looked down at the scratches, a few of them began to leak wet, red blood. Triggered, somehow by the event, a choked, squeaking sob left her mouth. It was followed by another and from there she sunk to the floor.
The next day she was evicted. Alina was allowed to pack up a bag, it wasn't as if there was much on her mind as she sat on the park bench with all her worldly belongings in an over-sized backpack.
"I'm afraid at this point, miss, I cannot take no for an answer" And back was her attractive older man... stalker... person. He sat down and smiled at her in a fatherly kind of way. "You smell better."
Alina stared at her feet.
"How long have you been depressed, Miss Garmond?"
Depressed? It was a dirty word. There was nothing wrong with her life, she had no reason to be depressed. She was just a terrible human being and ... "a long time" her voice whispered out before she could stop it.
"I could get you some help?"
She wasn't really considering it, she didn't think about much at all. Alina only nodded. Somewhere, something inside of her was simply done. "I need it."
-+-
She poked at the food he had bought her with a fork. The diner's mashed potatoes had things that she liked; cheese and some garlic with the skins left on, but she couldn't seem to taste any of it. “You... mentioned a debt?” In the back of Alina's mind, there was something akin to survival instincts. “That means my family didn't send you?”
“Not in the most direct manner of speaking. My name is Marcelo and I represent a...order that your biological father belonged to.”
That gave her pause. “My biological father's never been in the picture. My mother told me he was dead.”
“He is. However... there is an issue that needs to be cleared up by his heir and you're it.”
Alina sat up and narrowed her eyes. “Look, I don't know what the hell you think you're getting at, but I don't owe you shit.”
Marcelo smiled. “A little fight is a good thing, Miss Garmond.” He ran his hand through his salt and pepper hair as he thought about what to say. There was a pale scar that sliced up the side of his otherwise tawny colored arm. “It's very complicated, but the short version of the story is that your biological father was a guardian of a very important person. He was a Knight.”
“My father was a deadbeat.” She snorted.
“No.” There was finality in Marcelo's tone. “He was not. He... there were points in his life where he was not a good man, I admit that he and I didn't get along as much as we probably should have. What he was like as a person doesn't negate his duties, however. He... contractually obligated his family to continue to protect the family he served if a time of great need arrived. The time arrived, and so you're … ah... betrothed.”
She looked around. “Am I on some reality show? Because this is fucked up.”
“Yes. It is. But it doesn't make it less true. It's not like you have anywhere else to go. You may as well come with me while we look for a way to fix the situation.”
She really didn't have much of a choice. As long as he wasn't going to drag her back to her actual parent's house, Alina was game.
-+-
The library itself was imposing and large. The gardens, four in total, were well kept and complete with fountains and statues. The main tower stretched up further than expected and the quarters around it resembled more of a castle than anything one would check a book out in.
She still had no idea what was going on when she met her "betrothed" the owner of the whole place. Grey, as she was called, was tall and stately, she had a regal appearance and hair that looked far older than her actual years. The grey and white mane of her hair was swept up in a braid that was fairly careless and still beautiful. Alina felt frumpy by contrast.
-+-
Alina was intimidated by ... everything. Alina didn't really want to be in a room with her betrothed. Grey was beautiful, and slender, and wordly. A being of light and grace. People like Grey usually looked at Alina like something they'd picked up from a rack at an antique store and became disgusted at when they found out it was more suited to a thrift shop.
To her credit, Grey did not do this. She tried to be soothing and was at least polite. Alina wasn't quite paying attention to everything she said, partially because she couldn't follow and partially because she was too overwhelmed to care. This was a far cry from totally homeless and starving, for that she supposed she should be grateful. About halfway (Alina assumed it was halfway, because of the size of the place) through the tour, Alina just said "I really just want to go to bed."
Grey looked taken aback, but she didn't argue. Instead she called her butler, Rhet back up. Rhet lead Alina to a room where her bag had been flopped on a chair. "Do you want me to call round for your things, Mistress Alina?"
It took almost a full minute for Alina to respond "these are my things". She thanked Rhet and when they left, Alina flopped on the bed. All she really wanted was to sleep
novel_machinistStory: The Coward Guardian
Theme: Literary / Octarine
Word Count: 1548
Summary: Alina is depressed, completely and wholly depressed. She needs a change that she'll fall into by chance.
Rating: R
Warnings: Major talk about depression. Introspection into a severely depressed character. Physical harm to a character during angry lashing out. Please let me know if I need anything else.
Notes: I'm really trying to get back into writing regularly. If you like what you see, feel free to mosey over to
roost to catch my other original work.There was nothing. That was the crushing truth of the world according to Alina. It wasn't that she cared - the nothingness had long since erased her self loathing. She'd left medical school with nothing to show for it but debt that somehow rivaled the depths of her depression.
Once she had a passion for medicine, so much so that when the nothingness started to creep in - before it had oozed over her ability to feel anger - the sheer rage at what she used to be able to feel pushed her away. She pushed a lot that year, anger flowed as if it needed to rush out to escape the void that threatened to claim it along with her happiness. She pushed away her family, including a younger sister that adored her. She shoved off and offended friends and she didn't even bother to pay her phone bill.
The stock job that she slithered into included one drug addict 12 years her senior, a smattering of alcoholics in ages that spanned Santana's career, an overzealous Christian, and a manager 10 years her junior.
In it's own way the nothingness was comfortable. Everything else was a mere inconvenience to it. Eventually, like the the Illuminations era alcoholic, she stopped going to work. When the electricity got shut off, she didn't care. Eventually, she assumed, she would get kicked out as her rent was past due by some length of time that she wasn't keeping track of. When there was a knock on the door, she simply assumed it was finally that time, so she didn't answer.
When the knocking continued, she sighed and made her way to the door. It was not her landlord and that confused her; there was really no reason for an extremely attractive older gentleman to be at her door at all. When his expression grew grim and he told her about a debt that had to be paid, she was wondered if the mob had come after her.
But that was silly, student loans didn't have hit men. She was 100% certain that they didn't have attractive ones, at the very least. He wrinkled his proud nose and muttered "you smell".
She had something resembling vanity and clenched her jaw. "Who are you?"
"We... have business, could you ... clean yourself up?"
"No." She slammed the door in his face and sighed. She did not have room in the nothingness for any older attractive men.
He banged on the door. "Miss Garmond!"
Fine, if he wanted to bang on the door, she WOULD take a shower, just to avoid hearing him. Shockingly, she still had shampoo and the water pressure and gas heat worked just fine. The hot water was simply there, as was the fluffy and somewhat musty towel. She didn't want to, but automatically her body wiped the condensation from the mirror. The face she saw disgusted her.
She looked nothing like one of her old medschool companions, a woman who wore her size 24 frame like a classical painting of what it was to be womanhood. Instead, she looked ashen, her once dark skin seemed to be a film over cheap chocolate pudding. For a moment vanity sparked that rage that apparently refused to be swallowed by the void. Reflexively, she slammed her fist into the mirror in the same way that she broke boards in Tae Kwon Do tournaments once upon a time.
The fine grains of glass blazed up her hand and forearm. The feeling of pain surprised her and Alina looked down at the scratches, a few of them began to leak wet, red blood. Triggered, somehow by the event, a choked, squeaking sob left her mouth. It was followed by another and from there she sunk to the floor.
The next day she was evicted. Alina was allowed to pack up a bag, it wasn't as if there was much on her mind as she sat on the park bench with all her worldly belongings in an over-sized backpack.
"I'm afraid at this point, miss, I cannot take no for an answer" And back was her attractive older man... stalker... person. He sat down and smiled at her in a fatherly kind of way. "You smell better."
Alina stared at her feet.
"How long have you been depressed, Miss Garmond?"
Depressed? It was a dirty word. There was nothing wrong with her life, she had no reason to be depressed. She was just a terrible human being and ... "a long time" her voice whispered out before she could stop it.
"I could get you some help?"
She wasn't really considering it, she didn't think about much at all. Alina only nodded. Somewhere, something inside of her was simply done. "I need it."
-+-
She poked at the food he had bought her with a fork. The diner's mashed potatoes had things that she liked; cheese and some garlic with the skins left on, but she couldn't seem to taste any of it. “You... mentioned a debt?” In the back of Alina's mind, there was something akin to survival instincts. “That means my family didn't send you?”
“Not in the most direct manner of speaking. My name is Marcelo and I represent a...order that your biological father belonged to.”
That gave her pause. “My biological father's never been in the picture. My mother told me he was dead.”
“He is. However... there is an issue that needs to be cleared up by his heir and you're it.”
Alina sat up and narrowed her eyes. “Look, I don't know what the hell you think you're getting at, but I don't owe you shit.”
Marcelo smiled. “A little fight is a good thing, Miss Garmond.” He ran his hand through his salt and pepper hair as he thought about what to say. There was a pale scar that sliced up the side of his otherwise tawny colored arm. “It's very complicated, but the short version of the story is that your biological father was a guardian of a very important person. He was a Knight.”
“My father was a deadbeat.” She snorted.
“No.” There was finality in Marcelo's tone. “He was not. He... there were points in his life where he was not a good man, I admit that he and I didn't get along as much as we probably should have. What he was like as a person doesn't negate his duties, however. He... contractually obligated his family to continue to protect the family he served if a time of great need arrived. The time arrived, and so you're … ah... betrothed.”
She looked around. “Am I on some reality show? Because this is fucked up.”
“Yes. It is. But it doesn't make it less true. It's not like you have anywhere else to go. You may as well come with me while we look for a way to fix the situation.”
She really didn't have much of a choice. As long as he wasn't going to drag her back to her actual parent's house, Alina was game.
-+-
The library itself was imposing and large. The gardens, four in total, were well kept and complete with fountains and statues. The main tower stretched up further than expected and the quarters around it resembled more of a castle than anything one would check a book out in.
She still had no idea what was going on when she met her "betrothed" the owner of the whole place. Grey, as she was called, was tall and stately, she had a regal appearance and hair that looked far older than her actual years. The grey and white mane of her hair was swept up in a braid that was fairly careless and still beautiful. Alina felt frumpy by contrast.
-+-
Alina was intimidated by ... everything. Alina didn't really want to be in a room with her betrothed. Grey was beautiful, and slender, and wordly. A being of light and grace. People like Grey usually looked at Alina like something they'd picked up from a rack at an antique store and became disgusted at when they found out it was more suited to a thrift shop.
To her credit, Grey did not do this. She tried to be soothing and was at least polite. Alina wasn't quite paying attention to everything she said, partially because she couldn't follow and partially because she was too overwhelmed to care. This was a far cry from totally homeless and starving, for that she supposed she should be grateful. About halfway (Alina assumed it was halfway, because of the size of the place) through the tour, Alina just said "I really just want to go to bed."
Grey looked taken aback, but she didn't argue. Instead she called her butler, Rhet back up. Rhet lead Alina to a room where her bag had been flopped on a chair. "Do you want me to call round for your things, Mistress Alina?"
It took almost a full minute for Alina to respond "these are my things". She thanked Rhet and when they left, Alina flopped on the bed. All she really wanted was to sleep
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-Write depression with some hella panache
-Made me love all of these characters
-HOLY YES INTRIGUE
I am excited for more! Thank you for posting :D.
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2) YAY THANK YOU
3) Grey really dun effed up
Thanks for reading!
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