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rainbowfic2012-03-02 11:18 pm
shadowsong26) wrote in rainbowfic2012-03-02 11:18 pm
Angel Cake #6, Sulphur #4
Name: shadowsong26
Story: Hide in the World
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Angel Cake #6. In the service of, Sulphur #4. Summoning
Supplies and Materials: canvas (976 FY), acrylic, pastels (my current gen card I3 promises made)
Word Count: 572
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Mel and Kit Artwick
Warnings: Callousness relating to a recent death in the family (in thoughts, not out loud).
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always.
Kit jumped out of the dinghy onto the beach of his home island. For once, things were finally going his way. After more than a decade of work on his uncle's ship, the old man was finally retiring and had designated Kit as the next captain of the Scarlet Eagle. And the promotion couldn't have come at a better time--his half-brother, Mel, was a water-mage, not yet attached to a ship, sixteen, and newly orphaned.
Kit and Mel had the same father, with Kit being his son by his first wife, and Mel being by a second wife, a pretty mage-girl who had been younger than Kit when she became his stepmother. He'd never been especially fond of Nez, nor she of him, but with her out of the way, he had more or less unrestricted access to her son, since their father had died not long after Kit had joined the Eagle's crew.
He walked the rest of the way up the beach to the house his father had built on his remarriage, and pushed open the door without knocking. "Mel?"
The kid looked up, surprised. He was curled up on the couch, reading. Another reason to take him. He's more literate than half the crew I got now. "Hey. Heard about your ma, thought I'd drop by."
Mel looked back down at his book. "Thanks."
"Can I sit?"
"Sure."
Kit sat on the couch next to his brother. "How you been holdin' up?"
Mel shrugged. "I miss her."
Kit nodded. "I'll bet." They sat quietly for a couple minutes.
Mel finally broke it. "D'you want somethin' to eat or somethin'?"
Kit shook his head. "Nah, I'm good."
Mel nodded, but seemed desperate to talk about anything except his mother. "What've you been up to? Been a while since your last letter."
"Sorry 'bout that. Been busy. Y'know we've been at odds with Lefret the last year or two." Kit had privately been pleased about the feud, though he knew better than to say it out loud. Good way to distinguish yourself when your career seems stalled by more conventional means.
"Yeah," Mel said. "Was worried 'bout you." He gripped his book a little tighter, and Kit hid a faint smile. Mel had always worshipped him a little bit--followed him around near to the point of annoyance whenever he was home. Drove Nez to distraction, which was another benefit. Plus, Kit liked being the center of his brother's world.
"I done pretty good for myself. And Uncle's retired now, and gave me the Eagle."
Mel jerked a little and looked up at him. "Really? You got a ship?"
Kit showed a smile. "Yep."
Before he could try to slide into his recruitment tangent, Mel did it for him. "Can I join?" He flushed, and moved on, far too quickly for Kit to cut him off. "I know I'm just barely old enough, and Mamma wanted me to wait 'til I was eighteen, but I can't stay here, s'like she's in every room with me, an' maybe the open water will help, and--"
"I was gonna ask you on," Kit interrupted him, and ruffled his hair. "If you want, I can help you find a tenant for the house 'fore we go."
Mel flushed. "Didn't think of that..."
"S'a good thing I'm around then, yeah?" Kit smiled again. "I'll always look out for you, kid. S'what brothers are for."
Story: Hide in the World
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Angel Cake #6. In the service of, Sulphur #4. Summoning
Supplies and Materials: canvas (976 FY), acrylic, pastels (my current gen card I3 promises made)
Word Count: 572
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Mel and Kit Artwick
Warnings: Callousness relating to a recent death in the family (in thoughts, not out loud).
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always.
Kit jumped out of the dinghy onto the beach of his home island. For once, things were finally going his way. After more than a decade of work on his uncle's ship, the old man was finally retiring and had designated Kit as the next captain of the Scarlet Eagle. And the promotion couldn't have come at a better time--his half-brother, Mel, was a water-mage, not yet attached to a ship, sixteen, and newly orphaned.
Kit and Mel had the same father, with Kit being his son by his first wife, and Mel being by a second wife, a pretty mage-girl who had been younger than Kit when she became his stepmother. He'd never been especially fond of Nez, nor she of him, but with her out of the way, he had more or less unrestricted access to her son, since their father had died not long after Kit had joined the Eagle's crew.
He walked the rest of the way up the beach to the house his father had built on his remarriage, and pushed open the door without knocking. "Mel?"
The kid looked up, surprised. He was curled up on the couch, reading. Another reason to take him. He's more literate than half the crew I got now. "Hey. Heard about your ma, thought I'd drop by."
Mel looked back down at his book. "Thanks."
"Can I sit?"
"Sure."
Kit sat on the couch next to his brother. "How you been holdin' up?"
Mel shrugged. "I miss her."
Kit nodded. "I'll bet." They sat quietly for a couple minutes.
Mel finally broke it. "D'you want somethin' to eat or somethin'?"
Kit shook his head. "Nah, I'm good."
Mel nodded, but seemed desperate to talk about anything except his mother. "What've you been up to? Been a while since your last letter."
"Sorry 'bout that. Been busy. Y'know we've been at odds with Lefret the last year or two." Kit had privately been pleased about the feud, though he knew better than to say it out loud. Good way to distinguish yourself when your career seems stalled by more conventional means.
"Yeah," Mel said. "Was worried 'bout you." He gripped his book a little tighter, and Kit hid a faint smile. Mel had always worshipped him a little bit--followed him around near to the point of annoyance whenever he was home. Drove Nez to distraction, which was another benefit. Plus, Kit liked being the center of his brother's world.
"I done pretty good for myself. And Uncle's retired now, and gave me the Eagle."
Mel jerked a little and looked up at him. "Really? You got a ship?"
Kit showed a smile. "Yep."
Before he could try to slide into his recruitment tangent, Mel did it for him. "Can I join?" He flushed, and moved on, far too quickly for Kit to cut him off. "I know I'm just barely old enough, and Mamma wanted me to wait 'til I was eighteen, but I can't stay here, s'like she's in every room with me, an' maybe the open water will help, and--"
"I was gonna ask you on," Kit interrupted him, and ruffled his hair. "If you want, I can help you find a tenant for the house 'fore we go."
Mel flushed. "Didn't think of that..."
"S'a good thing I'm around then, yeah?" Kit smiled again. "I'll always look out for you, kid. S'what brothers are for."
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Good job!
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Thank you ^^
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Thank you. ^^
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And I may be biased, but I do love that you used dialect.
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The Islanders are I think my best attempt at dialect, so I'm glad it works ^^