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rainbowfic2014-05-30 10:41 pm
bookblather) wrote in rainbowfic2014-05-30 10:41 pm
Stars and Stripes 6: Welcome to the Family
Author: Kat
Title: Welcome to the Family
Story: In the Heart
Colors: Stars and stripes 6 (“Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”)
Supplies and Materials: Frame, brush (gamut), fabric (family), glitter (trouble), glue (There's no reason to fuel a melodrama that evolves from an all-or-nothing strategy. Minimize the internal tug-of-war by finding a middle path that doesn't go to extremes.), novelty beads (this gif).
Word Count: 723
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Felipe meets the family.
Warnings: homicidal language.
Notes: It occurred to me that I never put the introductory pieces up here. So...
"Oh my God," Felipe said. When Summer said "meet my family," he'd been thinking like, parents, siblings, maybe one or two close friends. He hadn't expected a parkful of people.
Zack, who must have known exactly how he felt, laughed at him (of course) and then said, "It's okay, about half of these people are Lars's relatives. You don't have to know any of them."
"Except Lars," Felipe muttered, and nodded at the man currently swinging Summer in a circle. "I assume that's him."
"You would be right."
Felipe sized him up—brunet, kind of skinny, definitely the white and nerdy type, except that when Summer pointed at them and said something, his eye acquired a distinctly homicidal look. "Great. He looks like he wants to kill me."
"He threatened to kneecap me when we first met," Zack said, thoughtfully. Ahead, Lars pointed at his eyes and mouthed, 'I'm watching you' over Summer's head. "So, you know. If that ends up happening, he's suspect number one."
"Got it."
He would have said more, except a redhead popped up in front of him, wearing an apron with "CAUTION" splashed across the front and another homicidal expression. More distressingly, she was also holding a very large knife.
Felipe would maintain until the day he died that the noise he made was a war cry.
"You," she said, shaking the knife at Felipe. She paused, then, and looked at Zack. "Wait, is this him?"
Zack looked entirely too amused for someone whose husband was being threatened with a butcher knife. "Yeah. He's a cop too."
"Since when have we cared about that?" The redhead turned her gimlet eye back on Felipe. "Hurt my sister and I will make you disappear. I mean it."
The terrifying thing was, Felipe could believe it. Still, she had at least lowered the knife. "You must be Ivy," he said, and took a deep breath, trying to calm his heart rate. "I'm Felipe, pleased to meet you."
Ivy—it had to be, Summer only had one sister—lowered the knife even further and to his shock gave him a grin. "I like you. Welcome to the family. Seriously, they'll never find your body."
"Uh," he said, and then, "Thanks," and then, "Glad to be here." He shook the hand she extended, albiet somewhat gingerly.
Ivy's grin didn't falter, even when about three people hollered her name. The first to reach them, a stunningly gorgeous blonde, grabbed the back of Ivy's shirt and gave Felipe an apologetic look. "I am so sorry. Ivy, we talked about this."
"You're just mad you didn't get there first," Ivy said, without blinking. "Gina, Felipe. Felipe, my wife Gina. She will help me hide your body."
"Ivy," Gina said, sharply. "You are a terrible example for our children. Go help Aaron at the grill. And don't set anything on fire!"
Ivy looked suddenly both strongly innocent and disturbingly mischievous as she sidled off toward the grill and the (actually pretty cute) guy working it—Summer's brother, if he remembered correctly, which just went to show that genetics had been kind to that family.
"You know she's going to set something on fire now," Zack commented, watching her go.
"Oh, absolutely," Gina said, "but at least she won't be threatening Felipe. Speaking of." She gave him a very pretty smile. "They really won't find your body."
It was scarier than Ivy's grin. Felipe sighed. "You all know that Summer can hurt me a lot more efficiently than any of you, right?"
She raised her eyebrows. "Yes. Obviously she would be the one actually murdering you. Anyway, would you like something to drink?"
"I'm good, thanks."
"Good call," Zack murmured. "Lars is making the drinks."
Gina tsk'd. "Please. He wouldn't poison you. He has some professional pride."
"Okay," Felipe said, "honestly, is everyone here going to threaten me? I just want to know so I can be prepared, because I have been threatened more in the last five minutes then generally happens in a week, and I work homicide."
"Yes," Gina said. "Some of them with guns."
"I did try to warn you," Zack said.
As Felipe recalled, that warning had consisted mostly of "don't shoot anybody," but whatever. "And I haven't even met her parents yet," he said, on a sigh. "Okay. Let's get this over with."
Title: Welcome to the Family
Story: In the Heart
Colors: Stars and stripes 6 (“Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”)
Supplies and Materials: Frame, brush (gamut), fabric (family), glitter (trouble), glue (There's no reason to fuel a melodrama that evolves from an all-or-nothing strategy. Minimize the internal tug-of-war by finding a middle path that doesn't go to extremes.), novelty beads (this gif).
Word Count: 723
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Felipe meets the family.
Warnings: homicidal language.
Notes: It occurred to me that I never put the introductory pieces up here. So...
"Oh my God," Felipe said. When Summer said "meet my family," he'd been thinking like, parents, siblings, maybe one or two close friends. He hadn't expected a parkful of people.
Zack, who must have known exactly how he felt, laughed at him (of course) and then said, "It's okay, about half of these people are Lars's relatives. You don't have to know any of them."
"Except Lars," Felipe muttered, and nodded at the man currently swinging Summer in a circle. "I assume that's him."
"You would be right."
Felipe sized him up—brunet, kind of skinny, definitely the white and nerdy type, except that when Summer pointed at them and said something, his eye acquired a distinctly homicidal look. "Great. He looks like he wants to kill me."
"He threatened to kneecap me when we first met," Zack said, thoughtfully. Ahead, Lars pointed at his eyes and mouthed, 'I'm watching you' over Summer's head. "So, you know. If that ends up happening, he's suspect number one."
"Got it."
He would have said more, except a redhead popped up in front of him, wearing an apron with "CAUTION" splashed across the front and another homicidal expression. More distressingly, she was also holding a very large knife.
Felipe would maintain until the day he died that the noise he made was a war cry.
"You," she said, shaking the knife at Felipe. She paused, then, and looked at Zack. "Wait, is this him?"
Zack looked entirely too amused for someone whose husband was being threatened with a butcher knife. "Yeah. He's a cop too."
"Since when have we cared about that?" The redhead turned her gimlet eye back on Felipe. "Hurt my sister and I will make you disappear. I mean it."
The terrifying thing was, Felipe could believe it. Still, she had at least lowered the knife. "You must be Ivy," he said, and took a deep breath, trying to calm his heart rate. "I'm Felipe, pleased to meet you."
Ivy—it had to be, Summer only had one sister—lowered the knife even further and to his shock gave him a grin. "I like you. Welcome to the family. Seriously, they'll never find your body."
"Uh," he said, and then, "Thanks," and then, "Glad to be here." He shook the hand she extended, albiet somewhat gingerly.
Ivy's grin didn't falter, even when about three people hollered her name. The first to reach them, a stunningly gorgeous blonde, grabbed the back of Ivy's shirt and gave Felipe an apologetic look. "I am so sorry. Ivy, we talked about this."
"You're just mad you didn't get there first," Ivy said, without blinking. "Gina, Felipe. Felipe, my wife Gina. She will help me hide your body."
"Ivy," Gina said, sharply. "You are a terrible example for our children. Go help Aaron at the grill. And don't set anything on fire!"
Ivy looked suddenly both strongly innocent and disturbingly mischievous as she sidled off toward the grill and the (actually pretty cute) guy working it—Summer's brother, if he remembered correctly, which just went to show that genetics had been kind to that family.
"You know she's going to set something on fire now," Zack commented, watching her go.
"Oh, absolutely," Gina said, "but at least she won't be threatening Felipe. Speaking of." She gave him a very pretty smile. "They really won't find your body."
It was scarier than Ivy's grin. Felipe sighed. "You all know that Summer can hurt me a lot more efficiently than any of you, right?"
She raised her eyebrows. "Yes. Obviously she would be the one actually murdering you. Anyway, would you like something to drink?"
"I'm good, thanks."
"Good call," Zack murmured. "Lars is making the drinks."
Gina tsk'd. "Please. He wouldn't poison you. He has some professional pride."
"Okay," Felipe said, "honestly, is everyone here going to threaten me? I just want to know so I can be prepared, because I have been threatened more in the last five minutes then generally happens in a week, and I work homicide."
"Yes," Gina said. "Some of them with guns."
"I did try to warn you," Zack said.
As Felipe recalled, that warning had consisted mostly of "don't shoot anybody," but whatever. "And I haven't even met her parents yet," he said, on a sigh. "Okay. Let's get this over with."