crystal and sweet violin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thelinesoflearning) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rainbowfic2014-01-06 09:52 pm
thelinesoflearning) wrote in rainbowfic2014-01-06 09:52 pm
Halloween Orange, Skyblue Pink w/ Striped Polka Dots
Name: Morgan
Title: you'll be the hero, and the tragedy
Story: N/A. Pretty sure this is a complete one-off.
Colors: Halloween Orange 27, "I was a little more than they expected."; Skyblue Pink with Stripes Polka Dots 3, "The more that you know, the more places you'll go."
Supplies and Styles: Graffiti (I'll have seconds), photography
Word Count: 538
Rating: PG? I guess?
Warnings: ... I don't know. I feel like there's something here but I can't quite word it. It's post-apocalyptic worldbuilding and meditation on idols and revolutionary leaders
And this is what it is to be an idol in a broken world: You learn to do terrible things, and you learn to lie by tenderness.
You learn that people will always be looking for the blood under your nails, so you scrub them clean; and you learn that people will always be looking for signs that you've had to wash it away, so you learn to hide them. You learn that they expect you to smile, even when you cry. You learn to read the crowd. You learn to say yes when it's expected, even when you want to say no. You learn to make no ring like a church bell, even when you're so tired you want to say yes.
You learn that you have to do horrible things to make good things happen, and that they can never know what you did. You learn that you command an army of loyalty and that their loyalty commands you.
You learn not to crumble, no matter how much hope they hang around your neck. You learn not to hang yourself on the ropes of what they want you to be. You learn that to have a chance at molding the world, you have to let them mold you first.
You learn that only fast learners make it very far.
So you mold yourself to the world around you, you mold yourself to the people at your back. You hand yourself to them like a live coal. You can help them start a fire, but the rest is in their hands.
*
And this is how you bring a dying world back to life: You set it on fire and start again.
The mistake everyone makes is building on the rubble of the world that fell apart. The foundation is unstable, and everything crumbles. So you turn the world no one remembers anymore into ash, whatever it takes. If it's covered in scorchmarks and scars afterwards, well, you'll build over it. A new foundation. While everyone watches it burn, you draw up the plans.
But when the fire goes out, they don't know what to do with you anymore.
*
And this is what it is to be an old idol in a new world: You learn that they don't need you anymore.
They let new idols in, ones that will never end up on pedestals. Ones who talk straight and act fast. And they don't care if there's blood on their hands. They are celebrated for saying no when people want to hear yes. They make themselves stone, instead of clay.
And they will always see you as the last relic of a broken place. They molded you into what they needed, and then decided you didn't know how to adapt. They will build you a pedestal and hail you as a saint, but they still treat you like a live coal. Like the only thing you can do is set things on fire. They think that anything you build is going to turn into flame. They handle you with care and they talk to you like your time is past.
And you learn fast that the only thing left for you to do is burn out, and wait to see if you're good enough to be remembered.
Title: you'll be the hero, and the tragedy
Story: N/A. Pretty sure this is a complete one-off.
Colors: Halloween Orange 27, "I was a little more than they expected."; Skyblue Pink with Stripes Polka Dots 3, "The more that you know, the more places you'll go."
Supplies and Styles: Graffiti (I'll have seconds), photography
Word Count: 538
Rating: PG? I guess?
Warnings: ... I don't know. I feel like there's something here but I can't quite word it. It's post-apocalyptic worldbuilding and meditation on idols and revolutionary leaders
And this is what it is to be an idol in a broken world: You learn to do terrible things, and you learn to lie by tenderness.
You learn that people will always be looking for the blood under your nails, so you scrub them clean; and you learn that people will always be looking for signs that you've had to wash it away, so you learn to hide them. You learn that they expect you to smile, even when you cry. You learn to read the crowd. You learn to say yes when it's expected, even when you want to say no. You learn to make no ring like a church bell, even when you're so tired you want to say yes.
You learn that you have to do horrible things to make good things happen, and that they can never know what you did. You learn that you command an army of loyalty and that their loyalty commands you.
You learn not to crumble, no matter how much hope they hang around your neck. You learn not to hang yourself on the ropes of what they want you to be. You learn that to have a chance at molding the world, you have to let them mold you first.
You learn that only fast learners make it very far.
So you mold yourself to the world around you, you mold yourself to the people at your back. You hand yourself to them like a live coal. You can help them start a fire, but the rest is in their hands.
*
And this is how you bring a dying world back to life: You set it on fire and start again.
The mistake everyone makes is building on the rubble of the world that fell apart. The foundation is unstable, and everything crumbles. So you turn the world no one remembers anymore into ash, whatever it takes. If it's covered in scorchmarks and scars afterwards, well, you'll build over it. A new foundation. While everyone watches it burn, you draw up the plans.
But when the fire goes out, they don't know what to do with you anymore.
*
And this is what it is to be an old idol in a new world: You learn that they don't need you anymore.
They let new idols in, ones that will never end up on pedestals. Ones who talk straight and act fast. And they don't care if there's blood on their hands. They are celebrated for saying no when people want to hear yes. They make themselves stone, instead of clay.
And they will always see you as the last relic of a broken place. They molded you into what they needed, and then decided you didn't know how to adapt. They will build you a pedestal and hail you as a saint, but they still treat you like a live coal. Like the only thing you can do is set things on fire. They think that anything you build is going to turn into flame. They handle you with care and they talk to you like your time is past.
And you learn fast that the only thing left for you to do is burn out, and wait to see if you're good enough to be remembered.
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I particularly liked the repetitive nature of You learn in the beginning. I particularly liked this line: you learn to lie by tenderness because it really does contrast the idea of harshness a post-apocalyptic world would bring, and especially the harshness of this world where this forgotten idol has had to endure.
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FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFff-...
That LINE.
THIS STORY.
YES.
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