crystal and sweet violin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thelinesoflearning) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rainbowfic2013-06-08 04:07 am
thelinesoflearning) wrote in rainbowfic2013-06-08 04:07 am
Halloween Orange, True Blue
Name: Morgan
Story: All Through the Night
Colors: True Blue 20, Secret you wouldn't even tell your best friend; Halloween Orange 19, I am nothing you should trust.
Supplies and Styles: Glitter ("You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." – Frank Crane)
Word Count: 447
Rating: G
Warnings: N/A
Notes: Need a story tag for All Through the Night, please.
Someday you're going to miss a dose.
Maybe you'll run out. You watch your stock grow smaller and smaller each time you take a new one, and though it'll take so long, longer than the mission was supposed to be, it could happen. As time marches on and the rendezvous gets pushed back farther and farther, you think maybe that's how it could go.
Or maybe your quick exit will be too quick one of these days, and you'll leave it behind. In the rush, some things always get missed. The little case you keep concealed, even though he wouldn't ask if you told him not to, will get left where you hide it. You'll only realize when you unpack, or maybe not until you go for the little vial and needle for the next booster. Then it will be too late.
Maybe, just maybe, you'll do it on purpose. You'll watch six months slide by. And you'll do nothing. And then you'll deliberately take hold of his hand and let him see who you really are.
He's more than a charge now, more than the burden of his assignment. He's a friend, and your heart breaks every time he expresses his relief that you don't register. Every time he tucks himself into his side for the break you give, knowing that he'll only be himself when he does. That your memories stay in your own head and out of his.
It would be nice to be able to give him the break, if you didn't have to lie to him about why it's like that. If you could tell him about the injections and the program and how you really found him. If you could tell him you've been leading him this whole time, that your wandering hasn't been aimless, that you have an agenda and you're so sorry, you can't even tell him why the program wants him because you don't know. All you know is they put you through training, and these injections, and sent you his way.
You don't know what you're doing, and you're ashamed that you never thought to ask.
So three years, four years, five years pass, ten doses, and you take your boosters, and you wonder when they'll tell you where to bring him. You wonder if you will, because you don't know. You wonder what they'll do to him, if you do.
And you wonder if you'll miss a dose, before then. If you'll lay your mind bare and let him look inside and see everything, your past and your present, your dreams and your nightmares, your head and your heart.
Maybe he can tell you what he sees, because you're not sure you know yourself anymore.
Story: All Through the Night
Colors: True Blue 20, Secret you wouldn't even tell your best friend; Halloween Orange 19, I am nothing you should trust.
Supplies and Styles: Glitter ("You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." – Frank Crane)
Word Count: 447
Rating: G
Warnings: N/A
Notes: Need a story tag for All Through the Night, please.
Someday you're going to miss a dose.
Maybe you'll run out. You watch your stock grow smaller and smaller each time you take a new one, and though it'll take so long, longer than the mission was supposed to be, it could happen. As time marches on and the rendezvous gets pushed back farther and farther, you think maybe that's how it could go.
Or maybe your quick exit will be too quick one of these days, and you'll leave it behind. In the rush, some things always get missed. The little case you keep concealed, even though he wouldn't ask if you told him not to, will get left where you hide it. You'll only realize when you unpack, or maybe not until you go for the little vial and needle for the next booster. Then it will be too late.
Maybe, just maybe, you'll do it on purpose. You'll watch six months slide by. And you'll do nothing. And then you'll deliberately take hold of his hand and let him see who you really are.
He's more than a charge now, more than the burden of his assignment. He's a friend, and your heart breaks every time he expresses his relief that you don't register. Every time he tucks himself into his side for the break you give, knowing that he'll only be himself when he does. That your memories stay in your own head and out of his.
It would be nice to be able to give him the break, if you didn't have to lie to him about why it's like that. If you could tell him about the injections and the program and how you really found him. If you could tell him you've been leading him this whole time, that your wandering hasn't been aimless, that you have an agenda and you're so sorry, you can't even tell him why the program wants him because you don't know. All you know is they put you through training, and these injections, and sent you his way.
You don't know what you're doing, and you're ashamed that you never thought to ask.
So three years, four years, five years pass, ten doses, and you take your boosters, and you wonder when they'll tell you where to bring him. You wonder if you will, because you don't know. You wonder what they'll do to him, if you do.
And you wonder if you'll miss a dose, before then. If you'll lay your mind bare and let him look inside and see everything, your past and your present, your dreams and your nightmares, your head and your heart.
Maybe he can tell you what he sees, because you're not sure you know yourself anymore.