Geena (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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rainbowfic2012-01-31 07:59 pm
geena) wrote in rainbowfic2012-01-31 07:59 pm
Entry tags:
Heart Gold 1
Author: geena
Color: Heart Gold 1. I love you - those three words have my life in them. - Tsarina Alexandra
Word Count: 598
Rating: PG-13
Story: _____; the title of this story is Three.
Summary: Things with Jason progress, and she regrets every moment of it.
Notes: This takes place just a few weeks after Dreams if Indiana. Trigger warning for physical and sexual abuse.
***
She doesn’t love Jason.
For all his pretty words and kind gestures, she’s beginning to learn he has a dark side. He reminds her of her father in ways she’d rather not think about, and she quickly learns that it’s best to just go along with what he wants. His temper makes itself known at times, and though he always apologizes after, it doesn’t change the fact that he accuses her of being a whore whenever she forgets to call and check in.
She’s too young for this, but she’s been too young for most of the things in her life and now that he is gone, Jason is all she has.
He says he loves her (in a way that leaves her wary of not returning the sentiment). He wants to spend time with her (even if he wants her every moment to be spent with him). He’s protective (to the point that he keeps her hidden from the rest of the world). But she’s been down this road before, long ago, and it frightens her.
This is not unfounded.
***
At times, Jason will cling to her, sobbing as he professes his love, vowing to not let anyone separate them. He swears that he needs her, that without her there is nothing. His intensity is blinding and hot to the touch.
“Do you love me?” he presses, repeatedly and often.
“Yes,” she lies, for fear of what the truth would bring.
“Stay with me. Always. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” He pulls at her clothes and she lets him. “I can’t live without you.” When he touches her, she swallows back the sharp taste of bile. “Don’t ever go anywhere, not ever.” She lets him pressure her further every time, hating herself as he has his way with her.
She doesn’t sleep much anymore.
***
The first time it happens, less than five weeks after the worst fight of her life, she doesn’t know what to do.
“You’re late.” Jason’s eyes are stormy, his lips tight.
“I know, I--”
He cuts her off. “Do you know how you’ve humiliated me? Do you do this on purpose?” The familiar grip on her wrist tightens, paining her physically for the first time. “Is that it? Do you think it’s funny to treat me like this?”
“What are you talking about?” She’s taken aback and jarred by this sudden display. “I’m sorry, I got caught up.”
“You lying bitch.”
“What? Are you cra--”
What surprises her most is that the smack across her face doesn’t surprise her.
***
Two months after hurting the one person she loves, everything has gone to hell.
She tiptoes around Jason, doing whatever it takes to placate him, though her tricks are working less and less often. It’s easier to hate herself for what she lets him do-- she’s had enough practice already that she simply turns it into an art form. She even stops registering the nightly visits and the way her father looks right through her. She stops eating, she stops sleeping, she merely stops.
It’s hard to pretend that she doesn’t deserve this. It’s fitting punishment for what she’s done, having to endure Jason and what he doles out. So she takes the abuse in stride, too overwhelmed and blinded by self-loathing to do anything else at the moment. Maybe, if she wasn't alone...
It’s just how things are, now, she decides.
***
She is pregnant.
***
geenaColor: Heart Gold 1. I love you - those three words have my life in them. - Tsarina Alexandra
Word Count: 598
Rating: PG-13
Story: _____; the title of this story is Three.
Summary: Things with Jason progress, and she regrets every moment of it.
Notes: This takes place just a few weeks after Dreams if Indiana. Trigger warning for physical and sexual abuse.
***
She doesn’t love Jason.
For all his pretty words and kind gestures, she’s beginning to learn he has a dark side. He reminds her of her father in ways she’d rather not think about, and she quickly learns that it’s best to just go along with what he wants. His temper makes itself known at times, and though he always apologizes after, it doesn’t change the fact that he accuses her of being a whore whenever she forgets to call and check in.
She’s too young for this, but she’s been too young for most of the things in her life and now that he is gone, Jason is all she has.
He says he loves her (in a way that leaves her wary of not returning the sentiment). He wants to spend time with her (even if he wants her every moment to be spent with him). He’s protective (to the point that he keeps her hidden from the rest of the world). But she’s been down this road before, long ago, and it frightens her.
This is not unfounded.
***
At times, Jason will cling to her, sobbing as he professes his love, vowing to not let anyone separate them. He swears that he needs her, that without her there is nothing. His intensity is blinding and hot to the touch.
“Do you love me?” he presses, repeatedly and often.
“Yes,” she lies, for fear of what the truth would bring.
“Stay with me. Always. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” He pulls at her clothes and she lets him. “I can’t live without you.” When he touches her, she swallows back the sharp taste of bile. “Don’t ever go anywhere, not ever.” She lets him pressure her further every time, hating herself as he has his way with her.
She doesn’t sleep much anymore.
***
The first time it happens, less than five weeks after the worst fight of her life, she doesn’t know what to do.
“You’re late.” Jason’s eyes are stormy, his lips tight.
“I know, I--”
He cuts her off. “Do you know how you’ve humiliated me? Do you do this on purpose?” The familiar grip on her wrist tightens, paining her physically for the first time. “Is that it? Do you think it’s funny to treat me like this?”
“What are you talking about?” She’s taken aback and jarred by this sudden display. “I’m sorry, I got caught up.”
“You lying bitch.”
“What? Are you cra--”
What surprises her most is that the smack across her face doesn’t surprise her.
***
Two months after hurting the one person she loves, everything has gone to hell.
She tiptoes around Jason, doing whatever it takes to placate him, though her tricks are working less and less often. It’s easier to hate herself for what she lets him do-- she’s had enough practice already that she simply turns it into an art form. She even stops registering the nightly visits and the way her father looks right through her. She stops eating, she stops sleeping, she merely stops.
It’s hard to pretend that she doesn’t deserve this. It’s fitting punishment for what she’s done, having to endure Jason and what he doles out. So she takes the abuse in stride, too overwhelmed and blinded by self-loathing to do anything else at the moment. Maybe, if she wasn't alone...
It’s just how things are, now, she decides.
***
She is pregnant.
***