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rainbowfic2026-01-05 03:11 pm
paradoxcase) wrote in rainbowfic2026-01-05 03:11 pm
Light Black #2 [The Fulcrum]
Name: Self-Reflection
Story: The Fulcrum
Colors: Light Black #2: Seek
Styles and Supplies: Photography, Life Drawing
Word Count: 481
Rating: T
Warnings: Discussion of sex
Characters: Setsiana
In-Universe Date: 1912.4.4.5
Summary: Setsiana thinks about her feelings.
Later, alone in her room, Setsiana lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. The way the other juniors had acted about sex back during her time at Taleinyo had been how they’d really felt about it all this time? She had always felt a little alienated from them, due to joining the program late, but she’d never felt like she genuinely didn’t understand them before.
And how different were her experiences than Qhoroali’s, really? She’d initially thought they must be very different — after all, she’d had sex, and enjoyed it, or so she’d thought. But the more she thought about that, the less sure she became. She hadn’t disliked it, not exactly. But it had felt a bit like work, it had had the same stress of doing a presentation or performance that she’d be judged on. That was the reason she’d thought the others hadn’t been serious, she realized; it hadn’t really been that exciting and carefree an experience to her, not something she would naturally act that way about.
But wasn’t what she’d said to Qhoroali true after all? It was just an activity, one that some people enjoyed, and others didn’t, no different than something like watching a play with someone. But Yeimicha had assumed she would enjoy it the way she did, because most people did, after all — maybe it just hadn’t occurred to her that some people wouldn’t. If someone had told Setsiana, or strongly implied, that they would like to go to a play with her, and then didn’t really seem to be enjoying it when they actually went, she would feel a little like she’d been lied to. And Yeimicha had interpreted her romantic interest as a sign that she would enjoy the sex, too. Yeimicha had made a false assumption there, but hadn’t Setsiana done the same, too, hadn’t she been doing it her whole life? If only they’d talked about it. If only Setsiana had known that she’d been having a different experience this whole time, she was sure that she could have explained it, and that Yeimicha would have understood.
She lay there, pondering, for some time longer, going back over the conversation she’d had with Qhoroali again. She guessed she’d at least finally found out what had happened between Qhoroali and Cyaru.
Suddenly she shot upright, sitting on the bed and fisting the blankets in her hands. There was something that Qhoroali had said right at the beginning of that conversation, which she’d completely forgotten about after where it had subsequently gone. Qhoroali had said that she didn’t care about gender in a romantic partner, hadn’t she? And that meant she was interested in women, too, didn’t it? So there was a chance, after all. And if Qhoroali never wanted to have sex, that was just fine with Setsiana. Maybe a bit of relief, even.
Story: The Fulcrum
Colors: Light Black #2: Seek
Styles and Supplies: Photography, Life Drawing
Word Count: 481
Rating: T
Warnings: Discussion of sex
Characters: Setsiana
In-Universe Date: 1912.4.4.5
Summary: Setsiana thinks about her feelings.
Later, alone in her room, Setsiana lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. The way the other juniors had acted about sex back during her time at Taleinyo had been how they’d really felt about it all this time? She had always felt a little alienated from them, due to joining the program late, but she’d never felt like she genuinely didn’t understand them before.
And how different were her experiences than Qhoroali’s, really? She’d initially thought they must be very different — after all, she’d had sex, and enjoyed it, or so she’d thought. But the more she thought about that, the less sure she became. She hadn’t disliked it, not exactly. But it had felt a bit like work, it had had the same stress of doing a presentation or performance that she’d be judged on. That was the reason she’d thought the others hadn’t been serious, she realized; it hadn’t really been that exciting and carefree an experience to her, not something she would naturally act that way about.
But wasn’t what she’d said to Qhoroali true after all? It was just an activity, one that some people enjoyed, and others didn’t, no different than something like watching a play with someone. But Yeimicha had assumed she would enjoy it the way she did, because most people did, after all — maybe it just hadn’t occurred to her that some people wouldn’t. If someone had told Setsiana, or strongly implied, that they would like to go to a play with her, and then didn’t really seem to be enjoying it when they actually went, she would feel a little like she’d been lied to. And Yeimicha had interpreted her romantic interest as a sign that she would enjoy the sex, too. Yeimicha had made a false assumption there, but hadn’t Setsiana done the same, too, hadn’t she been doing it her whole life? If only they’d talked about it. If only Setsiana had known that she’d been having a different experience this whole time, she was sure that she could have explained it, and that Yeimicha would have understood.
She lay there, pondering, for some time longer, going back over the conversation she’d had with Qhoroali again. She guessed she’d at least finally found out what had happened between Qhoroali and Cyaru.
Suddenly she shot upright, sitting on the bed and fisting the blankets in her hands. There was something that Qhoroali had said right at the beginning of that conversation, which she’d completely forgotten about after where it had subsequently gone. Qhoroali had said that she didn’t care about gender in a romantic partner, hadn’t she? And that meant she was interested in women, too, didn’t it? So there was a chance, after all. And if Qhoroali never wanted to have sex, that was just fine with Setsiana. Maybe a bit of relief, even.