rainbowfic | Cream

title: Cream
color: cream
styles: Saturation (Cream), life drawing (one of the mains is an autistic bigender mage and the other guy's trans n bi too lol), Vaudeville

(I'll post this on squidge. EVENTUALLY.)

One day, Duskie and Hibiscus went to the store to get diary products!

"Hibby! Look, I got the skim milk!" Duskie yelled, holding up the carton.

Hibiscus crossed out the first product from the list.

"If we get a whole lot of skim milk, you'll be able to use your alchemy to make it into whole milk, right, Hibby?"

Hibiscus, not wanting to answer (considering they didn't know, themself), was currently searching the aisle for whole milk.

Her search had brought her to heavy cream, yet no whole milk.

"Do you need help, young man?"

"Yes, I do." She signed. "Me and my boyfriend-"

"Ah, sorry sir, I don't know sign language."

Hibiscus blinked and then proceeded to meow for her boyfriend, and he ran over, holding 5 cartons of skim milk in his arms and- apologizing!?

"Sorry I let 45 of them fall out of my arms and spill onto the ground, Hibby!"

Somehow, they were not banned from the store for that.

From his next search, Hibiscus found some clotted cream, but zero whole milk.

"Hibby... What's a clotted cream?"

"I have no idea." She signed.

The medieval boygirl mage and the cowboy who was born in the same era as them sat in slience for a bit, before carrying on.

Ah. Cream cheese. Still no whole milk, though.

Duskie opened one of the packages, and began to eat.

"... What? I'll pay for it at the checkout!"

Hibiscus sighed.

Finally, whole milk!- the carton was empty. Hibiscus sighed.

Duskie held up the sour cream triumphantly. Hibiscus smiled. At least he's having fun...

---

Finally- it had been ages! Yet she had gotten it- some goddamn whole milk-

"Hibby? I can't find any cheddar."

... Of course.

"Look! White cheddar!"

"Duskie, that is parmesan." They didn't know the sign for "Parmesan", so they spelt it letter by letter.

Duskie let out a small whimper, then laid down and curled up on the floor.

Hibiscus bent her knees to give Duskie a soft pat on the head, and he bounced back up, good as new! Well, except for the fact that he stumbled and fell over onto a shelf of cheese.

Luckily, they didn't get banned from the store for this, either.

Unluckily, the store was out of brie.

"No!" Duskie yelled. "One missing item at a time! Shouldn't that be a rule?!"

Hibiscus distracted Duskie from the injustice by meowing, therefore leading him to meow back and forget about his troubles.

Top ten things that will start a wizard duel in a grocery store:

1. Throwing some goat's cheese at a mage girl's boyfriend

You'll never guess why Hibiscus is currently trading blows with someone who probably thinks they're dueling someone in their 'secret society' or whatever.

"Hibby! I found some brie and some cheddar! We can leave just as soon as I'm done checking out these items!"

Hibiscus turned to see Duskie scanning the cream cheese twice (to account for the one he ate), and got blindsided by a magic missile.

He instinctively counterattacked with his Black Abyss, then got up and unleashed an Amber Storm-

"Hibby!" Duskie was carrying grocery bags. "We can leave!"

"Not on... my watch... Said the grand wizard!" The jackass who throws goats cheese at people said, before collapsing.

A moment of silence filled the air, and then Hibiscus went over to join his boyfriend, and they went back home together happily.

Cream

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