shadowsong26 (
shadowsong26) wrote in
rainbowfic2017-08-16 12:29 am
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Golden Globe #2, Moonlight #10, Provence Lavender #4
Name: shadowsong26
Story: Easier
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Golden Globe #2. Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.', Moonlight #10. Noctilucent, Provence Lavender #4. Shabby cottage
Supplies and Materials: graffiti (Lillith Faire Second Stage), photography, eraser (In SPACE AU), oils, yarn
Word Count: 298
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Fera
Warnings: References to adultery and incest
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always.
It would be easier if she could be angry with him. If she could scream and rant and rave, the way Tana did when she was in a mood. If she could curse her husband's name and wish for him to suffer like he probably deserved.
It would be easier if she could torment him. If she could be there, tantalizingly out of reach, the good damn thing he'd thrown away for who the hell even knew what. If she could prey on his guilt--whatever guilt he felt--and haunt him for the rest of his life.
It would be easier if she could forgive him. If she could go home, climb into bed next to him, promise that they'd somehow make it work. If she could find it in herself to move on, to love him like she used to, to refuse to let one drunken mistake from years ago ruin their lives.
She couldn't do any of that, of course.
She couldn't rage--not when all eyes were on her and their family, and there was a missing child in play. Too many people who didn't deserve it would get hurt.
She couldn't taunt--not when she wasn't all that sure he regretted it that way. Oh, he regretted hurting her, because he was, at least to her, most of the time, a kind and decent man; but he didn't regret the love he'd lost in doing so.
As for forgiving him--she couldn't say never. Perhaps, in time, a kind of forgiveness would come. After all, she still loved him, sort of. Part of her probably always would.
But forgiving him didn't--wouldn't--couldn't mean taking him back. And she simply could not let this go.
It would be easier, though, if she could.
Story: Easier
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Golden Globe #2. Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.', Moonlight #10. Noctilucent, Provence Lavender #4. Shabby cottage
Supplies and Materials: graffiti (Lillith Faire Second Stage), photography, eraser (In SPACE AU), oils, yarn
Word Count: 298
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Fera
Warnings: References to adultery and incest
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always.
It would be easier if she could be angry with him. If she could scream and rant and rave, the way Tana did when she was in a mood. If she could curse her husband's name and wish for him to suffer like he probably deserved.
It would be easier if she could torment him. If she could be there, tantalizingly out of reach, the good damn thing he'd thrown away for who the hell even knew what. If she could prey on his guilt--whatever guilt he felt--and haunt him for the rest of his life.
It would be easier if she could forgive him. If she could go home, climb into bed next to him, promise that they'd somehow make it work. If she could find it in herself to move on, to love him like she used to, to refuse to let one drunken mistake from years ago ruin their lives.
She couldn't do any of that, of course.
She couldn't rage--not when all eyes were on her and their family, and there was a missing child in play. Too many people who didn't deserve it would get hurt.
She couldn't taunt--not when she wasn't all that sure he regretted it that way. Oh, he regretted hurting her, because he was, at least to her, most of the time, a kind and decent man; but he didn't regret the love he'd lost in doing so.
As for forgiving him--she couldn't say never. Perhaps, in time, a kind of forgiveness would come. After all, she still loved him, sort of. Part of her probably always would.
But forgiving him didn't--wouldn't--couldn't mean taking him back. And she simply could not let this go.
It would be easier, though, if she could.