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rainbowfic2016-02-02 10:43 pm
dark_kana) wrote in rainbowfic2016-02-02 10:43 pm
Seafoam 5 - Eraser - Paint by numbers
Name: Kana
Title: Waiting for you
Story: Circle never ends AU
Characters: Freya, Nick, Cathy, Alice, Tom
Colors: Seafoam 5 icon (sometimes you get a feeling someone is there)
Supplies and Styles: Eraser, Paint by numbers
Word count: 3023
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Mentions of death and war.
Summary: Freya waits for Nick to come home.
Notes: Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome
“Do you have to go?”
There are tears in her eyes. Yet she will not let them spill. She will be strong for him. Here, at the train station, she will stand proud and no one will see how the goodbye is killing her inside. As long as he’s with her, no one will see how she’s breaking.
“I’m sorry darling. I have to…”
She places a finger on his lips. Didn’t really expect an answer. She knows the answer anyway. Of course he has to go. He’s a soldier. He has orders. He has to go. Despite her tears. Despite her prayers – though she will never say them out loud. Despite knowing how much it hurts her.
“I know. Now you go and you stay safe. Think of me sometimes.”
The look on his face makes her smile.
“And write me. Please. I want to know everything about you. I need to hear your voice, to see your face and your smile and your tears. In your words. Please, write me…”
Nodding he kisses her. And it tells her everything. How much he loves her. How much he is going to miss her. And that he will write her. Every day…
His hand rests on her cheek when he pulls away. Fingers caressing. A last long loving gaze. A last smile. Before he turns around and boards the train. Setting himself next to the window. Keeping his eyes on her and smiling that brave sad smile one always smiles when saying goodbye for a long time.
And she does the same. Even when the train starts. She keeps her eyes on him and she smiles. And she walks next to the train. Not wanting to say goodbye. Not being able to say goodbye. But still she smiles. And she will not let the tears fall. For him, she will be strong. For him, she will always be strong.
Her feet stop when the train station ends. Her arm goes up, hand waving. It tears her apart…
“I love you Nick.”
She can almost hear him when she sees him mouth back “I love you too Freya.”
-
Nick. My love. My life.
It’s a little weird to write you this letter. The first of many to come. You’re only just two days away. And already I miss you so terribly much. It isn’t because I’m not used to not seeing you for more than one day. It’s because this time, I know you are so far away. Because this time, I can’t just jump on my bike and be with you in the next ten minutes if I feel like seeing you.
It’s a weird feeling.
But there is the knowledge that I will see you soon. I know I will see you soon. You will hold me. And I will kiss you. And we will laugh together.
Today I found out how hard it is to focus at work. My mind is constantly going back to you. I can’t focus. Not for long at least.
I love you. And I’ll see you very soon. I will see you, every night in my dreams, and soon you will be here again. Every night I’ll look at the stars and the moon and I’ll think of you.
Lots of love,
Your Freya
-
“Nick. Mail”.
Surprised he looks up. Smiles. Whispers her name when he takes the letter. Four weeks. He’s been here four weeks, and now the first letter arrives. Army mail takes a long time sometimes…
My lovely Freya,
It might sound crazy, but in your letter, I could practically hear your voice. You were suddenly so close. So near me. I could see you smile at me. And it brightened my day. It so brightened my day.
It’s hot over here. Hot and dry and calm. Surprisingly calm.
And I’m missing you so very much.
I can’t tell you where I am. And I can’t tell you what we are doing over here. Of course. But, I’m doing alright. Missing you terribly much, yes. But I am alright. As alright as I can be.
Write me soon, my darling. I’m looking forward to reading your letters. As I am looking forward to writing you an answer back.
Love you!
Big big hug and lots of kisses
Nick
-
Every day. Every day she opens her letter box, anxious, full of hope. Only to be disappointed most of the times. But not today. Today there is a brown envelope. The stamps too official to be normal mail.
Her heart skips a beat when she opens it and sees his familiar handwriting. She smiles, ignoring the tears in her eyes. Quickly she runs up the stairs, to her own apartment.
Laughing and crying she drops her stuff on the ground and crawls on her couch. Shaking her head, brushing away the tears that are blinding her vision. The words dancing in front of her eyes. She reads the little letter again and again and again. Before running to her bedroom, taking pen and paper.
-
Dear Nick,
I’m listening to our song, more than ever. As in like, every day. It’s the first song I hear in the morning. I always make sure I put my iPod on my alarm clock. And I always make sure that will be the first song to play.
It’s also the first song to play whenever I take my bike. It is the first song to play whenever I come back home. And it is the last song I hear before I fall asleep.
It makes me calm. Sometimes a little sad. But I need to hear it as much as I possibly can.
Because when I hear it, you are so very near to me.
So you are with me, every day. And I dream of you, every night. I actually even dream of you during the day as well.
Did I already tell you Tina is engaged? They are getting married already. I think it’s a bit soon, they’ve only been together for – not even – half a year. But then again, who says there has to be a limit before getting married… If you love each other.
Oh and, another little news-update. My mum is going for a kind of training. She’s going to be an paramedic, driving an ambulance. I think it so very cool of her.
It’s strange, how there seems so much I want to tell you. And yet I can’t get my words on the paper. I’ll try. And I’ll keep on writing, but I’m not sure if I’m saying much…
I love you, darling!
Hugs and kisses
Freya
-
“Hey Pat.”
He’s already passed his friend when he realizes there is no cheerful ‘hi’ coming back to him. Surprised he stops and turns around. Wondering why he isn’t getting a greeting back.
“Pat?”
His friend looks up when he feel’s Nick’s hand on his shoulder. A blank look in his eyes. No smile.
“What’s up mate?”
Sighing the other marine hands him the letter he’s holding. With a questioning look in his eyes Nick starts reading. Eyes opening wide.
“She’s breaking up with you?”
Pat nods. “Yeah, because I’m here. For so long. She found someone else. Doesn’t want to be alone. Says she loves me still, but she’s going to be with someone else. How can she love me still when she says that?”
Shocked Nick sets himself down next to him. “I’m so sorry to hear mate.”
His friend rolls his eyes, sarcastically. “Yeah, you are. And now you are going to say, like everyone else, that she’s not worth it.”
Nick shakes his head. Once more placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I was not going to say that. I know that is what everyone would say. But right now, it would not help. This hurts. A lot. And there is, for now, nothing anyone can say that will make this better.”
Closing his eyes for a second, Pat sighs. “Thanks.” A soft whisper. It makes Nick smile.
Squeezing his friend’s shoulder another time, he gets back up. Walking away to his own tent. Wondering why and how, but not finding any answers. His thoughts drifting to Freya. What if she found someone else in the time he is away from home. Would he blame her? It’s been months already. Would he be angry? No. sad, yes. Heartbroken, very much so. Would he understand? Perhaps…
-
My dearest girl, my darling Freya.
This place is so cold. So lonely. Without you. I long for your hugs. They make me feel warm and loved. There is no one who can hug like you.
I long for your kisses. The feel of your lips on my skin. I long for your hands caressing my back and my chest. The feeling of your fingers running unknown patterns over my body.
I want to hold you in my arms. You fit there perfectly. I want to hold you close to me. And kiss you. And tell you I love you. Because I do. Love you so very much.
I can’t wait to be back. To tell you this myself, so you can hear my voice. To actually hold you. To… not be afraid anymore. Because I am Freya. So afraid. And it are your letters that keep me sane.
But I’m still afraid. So afraid…
I love you. So very much!
Nick
-
Oh Nick. My dearest boy. Don’t be afraid.
How I wish I could come and hug you now.
I made you a promise, remember? And I’m planning on keeping it. Really. I’ll be right here for you. I’m waiting for you to come home. Waiting for you to hug me and kiss me and stay with me forever.
Will you marry me Nick? Will you be and stay my one and only?
I love you
Your Freya.
-
He laughs. Happy and just a little crazy.
“Nick! Come on! We have to go!”
He looks up to his captain, nodding. “I’ll be right there!”.
Quickly he takes his pen, writing a big YES and a smiley next to her question. Drawing a quick heart next to her name. Before he takes his helmet and runs out of his tent. Joining his comrades.
-
She’s whistling when she comes back home. Her best friend is singing along with her. They went out for a day of shopping.
Her eyes widen when she sees the well know brown envelope in her letter box.
“Nick!”
The exclamation makes Cathy turn around and look at her. Smiles when she sees the happy look on Freya’s face when she takes the letter out of her letter box.
“Come, let’s get upstairs, so I can read what he has to say. What do you think? Will he marry me?”
She giggles when she links her arm with her friend’s and they run up the stairs.
-
The tears are not there. Not now. She has been crying for days. Ever since the letter came two weeks ago. She was lucky her best friend was with her. To catch her when she all but fell. To hold her when she cried her heart out.
But now. Now that she is standing here, she cannot cry. Seeing the coffin of her lover disappear in the ground. Her friend takes a hold of her hand. And Freya barely registers it. She just stares in front of her. Blank. No emotion. No tears. Nothing. She’s empty. Destroyed.
A piece of paper clutched in her other hand. His answer. His YES, with smiley. The heart he drew next to her name.
She’s still standing at his grave half an hour later. When everyone but Cathy has left. People had come by and shook her hand. Offered their condolences. And she had nodded her thanks. On automatic pilot.
And when they were gone, her best friend had taken her hand again. The warmth spreading through her cold body.
“Let’s go Freya. You are freezing. Let me take you home. And put you a cup of tea.”
In slow motion she looks aside. Blinking the fog away. “Yeah, let’s go home…”
Her voice breaks when she says the last word. Home was where he was. Home was where he would return to. She wonders what home is now…
“Freya… Do you want me to stay with you?”
Hesitantly she nods. She does not want to be alone. Wants to be comforted. Wants to cry and curse. Wants to be held by someone.
-
Groaning she bends forward. Putting down the fresh picked flowers. The field behind her house is blooming this time a year. So many colors. It’s a beautiful sight. She knows he would have loved it. That is why she let the garden get wilder again. No lines, no well gardened place. He loved nature as it was, without too much interference of people.
“There, I hope you like them.”
She groans again when she stands straight again. “I must admit, it’s a pain in the ass, getting older.”
“Freya! I brought you a chair.”
Smiling she ruffles the kid’s hair when he arrives, placing the chair before the grave.
“You are a little angel Tom. How are your parents? And grandparents?”
He smiles and helps her sit down. “They are doing great. Grandma said hi and said I had to hug you from her.”
She laughs when he spontaneously wraps his arms around her and buries his face against her shoulder.
“And mum wanted to know if you came over for dinner. Grandma will be there as well.”
“I would love to.”
He beams and hugs her again, a little more careful this time. “I’ll go tell them, and then I’ll be back.”
She nods and kisses his cheek. Watching him run off home again. Shaking her head at his youthful enthusiasm before turning back to the grave. Talking to Nick until Tom comes back. She lets him guide her towards their home. Cathy, Tom’s grandmother, is waiting for her at the entrance, leaning on her cane.
“Freya.”
“Hey Kat.”
She laughs at the nickname. Still, after all these years. And then they hug, like they always did. Best friends forever. It does exist. Cathy never left Freya’s side. And Freya never left Cathy’s. She was there when Cathy married. When her son and daughters got born. When her grandchildren were born. Cathy asked if she wanted to be godmother to her eldest daughter. And she asked if she could name her son Nick.
They spend lots of time together. Freya being at Cathy’s place so often, that her kids started seeing her as their aunt. And Cathy’s grandchildren thought of her as another grandmother. The first time Tom called her granny, made Cathy burst out laughing. And it secretly brought tears to Freya’s eyes.
Everybody of the family knew her story. The story of her and Nick. Of how she never dated someone else. How she never married. How she always stayed alone. How she is waiting still…
“Are you not hungry?”
Tom’s voice is worried when he places his hand on her arm.
“No, I think I ate too much during lunch. Though it really is delicious Alice.” She smiles at her goddaughter.
“Do you guys mind if I go sit on the terrace for a while? I’m a little tired. Perhaps the fresh evening air will lift my spirits a little.”
Alice offers her an arm and guides her to the rocking chair.
“Are you alright? Can I bring you something else?”
She shakes her head. Bringing up her hand a little. Alice smiles and leans in. Kissing Freya’s cheek and hugging her.
“Now, you go back inside, before your dinner turns cold.”
Laughing her goddaughter nods and kisses her cheek one more time before turning around and walking back to the others.
Closing her eyes, Freya lets the chair rock. Knowing that in some minutes, Cathy will join her. They always sit together on the terrace when the summer night’s fall. Rocking back and forth in their chairs until Cathy’s daughter comes out and claims it is too cold outside to be sitting there. They always chuckle and wink at each other and join her back inside.
“What are you thinking of?”
She had not heard her best friend coming outside and setting herself in the chair next to her.
“About Nick. About how it all was. About how it will be if I see him again…”
“Freya?”
If she would have talked like this when they were younger, there would have been concern, so much concern, in Cathy’s voice. Now there is just a question. Wondering if she understands what’s going on between the lines.
“I’ve been so tired lately. So tired. And I can think of nothing but him. I see him, every second of the day. He’s there with me. Even now. He’s standing right there.”
She opens her eyes and points to a spot in front of them. Smiles, for a second. Before she looks at her friend, the smile vanishing. It’s being replaced by a worried look.
“Am I going crazy Kat?”
She sees how her friend shakes her head. “No. You are not going crazy. I think you are slowly getting ready to meet him again.”
There are tears shimmering in her eyes when she says it. She hates saying goodbye. And this goodbye, will be the most painful of all. After all they have been through together. She will miss her best friend.
“Do you think so?”
She nods, takes a hold of Freya’s hand. Like she did all these years ago. “When you meet him, say hi from me. And above all, be happy…”
Freya smiles. Squeezing her hand. “I will. Double time. But I’m not going yet. Not today. One of the next, perhaps. But not today. I have waited so long. So very long to see him again. I can wait just a little longer… Just a little. And then I will be with him again. In his arms, where I belong…”
Title: Waiting for you
Story: Circle never ends AU
Characters: Freya, Nick, Cathy, Alice, Tom
Colors: Seafoam 5 icon (sometimes you get a feeling someone is there)
Supplies and Styles: Eraser, Paint by numbers
Word count: 3023
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Mentions of death and war.
Summary: Freya waits for Nick to come home.
Notes: Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome
“Do you have to go?”
There are tears in her eyes. Yet she will not let them spill. She will be strong for him. Here, at the train station, she will stand proud and no one will see how the goodbye is killing her inside. As long as he’s with her, no one will see how she’s breaking.
“I’m sorry darling. I have to…”
She places a finger on his lips. Didn’t really expect an answer. She knows the answer anyway. Of course he has to go. He’s a soldier. He has orders. He has to go. Despite her tears. Despite her prayers – though she will never say them out loud. Despite knowing how much it hurts her.
“I know. Now you go and you stay safe. Think of me sometimes.”
The look on his face makes her smile.
“And write me. Please. I want to know everything about you. I need to hear your voice, to see your face and your smile and your tears. In your words. Please, write me…”
Nodding he kisses her. And it tells her everything. How much he loves her. How much he is going to miss her. And that he will write her. Every day…
His hand rests on her cheek when he pulls away. Fingers caressing. A last long loving gaze. A last smile. Before he turns around and boards the train. Setting himself next to the window. Keeping his eyes on her and smiling that brave sad smile one always smiles when saying goodbye for a long time.
And she does the same. Even when the train starts. She keeps her eyes on him and she smiles. And she walks next to the train. Not wanting to say goodbye. Not being able to say goodbye. But still she smiles. And she will not let the tears fall. For him, she will be strong. For him, she will always be strong.
Her feet stop when the train station ends. Her arm goes up, hand waving. It tears her apart…
“I love you Nick.”
She can almost hear him when she sees him mouth back “I love you too Freya.”
-
Nick. My love. My life.
It’s a little weird to write you this letter. The first of many to come. You’re only just two days away. And already I miss you so terribly much. It isn’t because I’m not used to not seeing you for more than one day. It’s because this time, I know you are so far away. Because this time, I can’t just jump on my bike and be with you in the next ten minutes if I feel like seeing you.
It’s a weird feeling.
But there is the knowledge that I will see you soon. I know I will see you soon. You will hold me. And I will kiss you. And we will laugh together.
Today I found out how hard it is to focus at work. My mind is constantly going back to you. I can’t focus. Not for long at least.
I love you. And I’ll see you very soon. I will see you, every night in my dreams, and soon you will be here again. Every night I’ll look at the stars and the moon and I’ll think of you.
Lots of love,
Your Freya
-
“Nick. Mail”.
Surprised he looks up. Smiles. Whispers her name when he takes the letter. Four weeks. He’s been here four weeks, and now the first letter arrives. Army mail takes a long time sometimes…
My lovely Freya,
It might sound crazy, but in your letter, I could practically hear your voice. You were suddenly so close. So near me. I could see you smile at me. And it brightened my day. It so brightened my day.
It’s hot over here. Hot and dry and calm. Surprisingly calm.
And I’m missing you so very much.
I can’t tell you where I am. And I can’t tell you what we are doing over here. Of course. But, I’m doing alright. Missing you terribly much, yes. But I am alright. As alright as I can be.
Write me soon, my darling. I’m looking forward to reading your letters. As I am looking forward to writing you an answer back.
Love you!
Big big hug and lots of kisses
Nick
-
Every day. Every day she opens her letter box, anxious, full of hope. Only to be disappointed most of the times. But not today. Today there is a brown envelope. The stamps too official to be normal mail.
Her heart skips a beat when she opens it and sees his familiar handwriting. She smiles, ignoring the tears in her eyes. Quickly she runs up the stairs, to her own apartment.
Laughing and crying she drops her stuff on the ground and crawls on her couch. Shaking her head, brushing away the tears that are blinding her vision. The words dancing in front of her eyes. She reads the little letter again and again and again. Before running to her bedroom, taking pen and paper.
-
Dear Nick,
I’m listening to our song, more than ever. As in like, every day. It’s the first song I hear in the morning. I always make sure I put my iPod on my alarm clock. And I always make sure that will be the first song to play.
It’s also the first song to play whenever I take my bike. It is the first song to play whenever I come back home. And it is the last song I hear before I fall asleep.
It makes me calm. Sometimes a little sad. But I need to hear it as much as I possibly can.
Because when I hear it, you are so very near to me.
So you are with me, every day. And I dream of you, every night. I actually even dream of you during the day as well.
Did I already tell you Tina is engaged? They are getting married already. I think it’s a bit soon, they’ve only been together for – not even – half a year. But then again, who says there has to be a limit before getting married… If you love each other.
Oh and, another little news-update. My mum is going for a kind of training. She’s going to be an paramedic, driving an ambulance. I think it so very cool of her.
It’s strange, how there seems so much I want to tell you. And yet I can’t get my words on the paper. I’ll try. And I’ll keep on writing, but I’m not sure if I’m saying much…
I love you, darling!
Hugs and kisses
Freya
-
“Hey Pat.”
He’s already passed his friend when he realizes there is no cheerful ‘hi’ coming back to him. Surprised he stops and turns around. Wondering why he isn’t getting a greeting back.
“Pat?”
His friend looks up when he feel’s Nick’s hand on his shoulder. A blank look in his eyes. No smile.
“What’s up mate?”
Sighing the other marine hands him the letter he’s holding. With a questioning look in his eyes Nick starts reading. Eyes opening wide.
“She’s breaking up with you?”
Pat nods. “Yeah, because I’m here. For so long. She found someone else. Doesn’t want to be alone. Says she loves me still, but she’s going to be with someone else. How can she love me still when she says that?”
Shocked Nick sets himself down next to him. “I’m so sorry to hear mate.”
His friend rolls his eyes, sarcastically. “Yeah, you are. And now you are going to say, like everyone else, that she’s not worth it.”
Nick shakes his head. Once more placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I was not going to say that. I know that is what everyone would say. But right now, it would not help. This hurts. A lot. And there is, for now, nothing anyone can say that will make this better.”
Closing his eyes for a second, Pat sighs. “Thanks.” A soft whisper. It makes Nick smile.
Squeezing his friend’s shoulder another time, he gets back up. Walking away to his own tent. Wondering why and how, but not finding any answers. His thoughts drifting to Freya. What if she found someone else in the time he is away from home. Would he blame her? It’s been months already. Would he be angry? No. sad, yes. Heartbroken, very much so. Would he understand? Perhaps…
-
My dearest girl, my darling Freya.
This place is so cold. So lonely. Without you. I long for your hugs. They make me feel warm and loved. There is no one who can hug like you.
I long for your kisses. The feel of your lips on my skin. I long for your hands caressing my back and my chest. The feeling of your fingers running unknown patterns over my body.
I want to hold you in my arms. You fit there perfectly. I want to hold you close to me. And kiss you. And tell you I love you. Because I do. Love you so very much.
I can’t wait to be back. To tell you this myself, so you can hear my voice. To actually hold you. To… not be afraid anymore. Because I am Freya. So afraid. And it are your letters that keep me sane.
But I’m still afraid. So afraid…
I love you. So very much!
Nick
-
Oh Nick. My dearest boy. Don’t be afraid.
How I wish I could come and hug you now.
I made you a promise, remember? And I’m planning on keeping it. Really. I’ll be right here for you. I’m waiting for you to come home. Waiting for you to hug me and kiss me and stay with me forever.
Will you marry me Nick? Will you be and stay my one and only?
I love you
Your Freya.
-
He laughs. Happy and just a little crazy.
“Nick! Come on! We have to go!”
He looks up to his captain, nodding. “I’ll be right there!”.
Quickly he takes his pen, writing a big YES and a smiley next to her question. Drawing a quick heart next to her name. Before he takes his helmet and runs out of his tent. Joining his comrades.
-
She’s whistling when she comes back home. Her best friend is singing along with her. They went out for a day of shopping.
Her eyes widen when she sees the well know brown envelope in her letter box.
“Nick!”
The exclamation makes Cathy turn around and look at her. Smiles when she sees the happy look on Freya’s face when she takes the letter out of her letter box.
“Come, let’s get upstairs, so I can read what he has to say. What do you think? Will he marry me?”
She giggles when she links her arm with her friend’s and they run up the stairs.
-
The tears are not there. Not now. She has been crying for days. Ever since the letter came two weeks ago. She was lucky her best friend was with her. To catch her when she all but fell. To hold her when she cried her heart out.
But now. Now that she is standing here, she cannot cry. Seeing the coffin of her lover disappear in the ground. Her friend takes a hold of her hand. And Freya barely registers it. She just stares in front of her. Blank. No emotion. No tears. Nothing. She’s empty. Destroyed.
A piece of paper clutched in her other hand. His answer. His YES, with smiley. The heart he drew next to her name.
She’s still standing at his grave half an hour later. When everyone but Cathy has left. People had come by and shook her hand. Offered their condolences. And she had nodded her thanks. On automatic pilot.
And when they were gone, her best friend had taken her hand again. The warmth spreading through her cold body.
“Let’s go Freya. You are freezing. Let me take you home. And put you a cup of tea.”
In slow motion she looks aside. Blinking the fog away. “Yeah, let’s go home…”
Her voice breaks when she says the last word. Home was where he was. Home was where he would return to. She wonders what home is now…
“Freya… Do you want me to stay with you?”
Hesitantly she nods. She does not want to be alone. Wants to be comforted. Wants to cry and curse. Wants to be held by someone.
-
Groaning she bends forward. Putting down the fresh picked flowers. The field behind her house is blooming this time a year. So many colors. It’s a beautiful sight. She knows he would have loved it. That is why she let the garden get wilder again. No lines, no well gardened place. He loved nature as it was, without too much interference of people.
“There, I hope you like them.”
She groans again when she stands straight again. “I must admit, it’s a pain in the ass, getting older.”
“Freya! I brought you a chair.”
Smiling she ruffles the kid’s hair when he arrives, placing the chair before the grave.
“You are a little angel Tom. How are your parents? And grandparents?”
He smiles and helps her sit down. “They are doing great. Grandma said hi and said I had to hug you from her.”
She laughs when he spontaneously wraps his arms around her and buries his face against her shoulder.
“And mum wanted to know if you came over for dinner. Grandma will be there as well.”
“I would love to.”
He beams and hugs her again, a little more careful this time. “I’ll go tell them, and then I’ll be back.”
She nods and kisses his cheek. Watching him run off home again. Shaking her head at his youthful enthusiasm before turning back to the grave. Talking to Nick until Tom comes back. She lets him guide her towards their home. Cathy, Tom’s grandmother, is waiting for her at the entrance, leaning on her cane.
“Freya.”
“Hey Kat.”
She laughs at the nickname. Still, after all these years. And then they hug, like they always did. Best friends forever. It does exist. Cathy never left Freya’s side. And Freya never left Cathy’s. She was there when Cathy married. When her son and daughters got born. When her grandchildren were born. Cathy asked if she wanted to be godmother to her eldest daughter. And she asked if she could name her son Nick.
They spend lots of time together. Freya being at Cathy’s place so often, that her kids started seeing her as their aunt. And Cathy’s grandchildren thought of her as another grandmother. The first time Tom called her granny, made Cathy burst out laughing. And it secretly brought tears to Freya’s eyes.
Everybody of the family knew her story. The story of her and Nick. Of how she never dated someone else. How she never married. How she always stayed alone. How she is waiting still…
“Are you not hungry?”
Tom’s voice is worried when he places his hand on her arm.
“No, I think I ate too much during lunch. Though it really is delicious Alice.” She smiles at her goddaughter.
“Do you guys mind if I go sit on the terrace for a while? I’m a little tired. Perhaps the fresh evening air will lift my spirits a little.”
Alice offers her an arm and guides her to the rocking chair.
“Are you alright? Can I bring you something else?”
She shakes her head. Bringing up her hand a little. Alice smiles and leans in. Kissing Freya’s cheek and hugging her.
“Now, you go back inside, before your dinner turns cold.”
Laughing her goddaughter nods and kisses her cheek one more time before turning around and walking back to the others.
Closing her eyes, Freya lets the chair rock. Knowing that in some minutes, Cathy will join her. They always sit together on the terrace when the summer night’s fall. Rocking back and forth in their chairs until Cathy’s daughter comes out and claims it is too cold outside to be sitting there. They always chuckle and wink at each other and join her back inside.
“What are you thinking of?”
She had not heard her best friend coming outside and setting herself in the chair next to her.
“About Nick. About how it all was. About how it will be if I see him again…”
“Freya?”
If she would have talked like this when they were younger, there would have been concern, so much concern, in Cathy’s voice. Now there is just a question. Wondering if she understands what’s going on between the lines.
“I’ve been so tired lately. So tired. And I can think of nothing but him. I see him, every second of the day. He’s there with me. Even now. He’s standing right there.”
She opens her eyes and points to a spot in front of them. Smiles, for a second. Before she looks at her friend, the smile vanishing. It’s being replaced by a worried look.
“Am I going crazy Kat?”
She sees how her friend shakes her head. “No. You are not going crazy. I think you are slowly getting ready to meet him again.”
There are tears shimmering in her eyes when she says it. She hates saying goodbye. And this goodbye, will be the most painful of all. After all they have been through together. She will miss her best friend.
“Do you think so?”
She nods, takes a hold of Freya’s hand. Like she did all these years ago. “When you meet him, say hi from me. And above all, be happy…”
Freya smiles. Squeezing her hand. “I will. Double time. But I’m not going yet. Not today. One of the next, perhaps. But not today. I have waited so long. So very long to see him again. I can wait just a little longer… Just a little. And then I will be with him again. In his arms, where I belong…”