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rainbowfic2014-10-25 12:36 am
shadowsong26) wrote in rainbowfic2014-10-25 12:36 am
Bistre #21, Mystic Beach Blue #9, Aqua #21
Name: shadowsong26
Story: Politics
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Bistre #21. All I'm asking is that you stop treating me like I'm an actor miscast in your own personal tragedy through no fault of my own., Mystic Beach Blue #9. this one, Aqua #21. Feminine
Supplies and Materials: sculpture, reimaging (of section 4 of Habibati), frame, feathers, fabric, glitter,
Word Count: 1006
Rating: PG
Characters: Nolani, Lonura
Warnings: End of a relationship, arranged/political marriage.
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always. Last Mystic Beach Blue and Bistre. The feathers is a perception thing rather than a reality thing. These two do get back together a few years later, I promise, but this does still happen.
It all blew up in their faces the night Nolani returned from Asendar. It might have happened sooner, but there was a function, a formal announcement, and it was nearly midnight before they were back in the princess's rooms, alone for the first time in months.
Lonura started it. She would regret that later, that she'd been the one to start it.
"How could you do this?" she asked, quietly.
Nolani paused, one of her earrings half out of her ear. "What do you mean?"
"You know damn well what I mean." She was gripping the bedpost tight, trying to keep her hurt out of her voice as much as possible. "You could at least have warned me."
Nolani shook her head. "This isn't about you, Lony."
"How is it not about me?"
She turned, setting the earring down on the vanity. "Do you really think I could have said no? You weren't there, Lony, in that room. You're not the one whose marriage has to buy and hold world peace."
"You think that's why I'm upset?"
"It's not?"
Lonura stayed where she was, focusing on the pressure from the carvings on her hands. It kept her from crying, or screaming, or going over to hold her lover. She was angry, dammit, and even if Nolani had a point, she had to say her piece. "You gave me no warning. And you sent me a letter, from halfway across the world, telling me it was over--"
"That is not what I said," Nolani interrupted, crossing to the bed and laying a hand on Lonura's cheek. "Lony, believe me, please, I didn't mean it was over. I would never want that. My marriage doesn't have to come between us."
Lonura pulled away. "We've been together for nearly five years. I deserved some hint this might be possible, rather than being told after it was already settled."
"What else could I have done? By the time it was brought up, I had very little time to decide, and--"
It was her turn to interrupt. "I'm not a fool, 'Lani"
Nolani dropped her hand. "I never said you were."
"Then please stop treating me like one. I know damn well what's at stake here. You don't have to lecture me."
Nolani glared at her, folding her arms across her chest. "If you understand it so well, why are you blaming me for something that is not my fault?"
"It's not about blame!" she snapped. "You can't just--you can't just decide things, without treating me like I'm an equal partner in this relationship."
"You can't assume that every decision I make is about you!"
"You can't leave me to wonder if you're coming home to me, if you're coming home at all, if I mean as much to you as you do to me!"
The moment she said it, she wished she could take it back. Nolani's eyes shuttered and she looked away, her hair screening her face.
"'Lani, I--"
"Stop," she said. "Just...stop. Fine. You win. I wasn't fair. I have a life and responsibilities that have nothing to do with you, and I had to choose them instead, and you got hurt. I am sorry for that. But you knew who I am when we got involved, you had to have known this would happen someday."
"I thought you would at least...I thought you would at least tell me, before you signed yourself away. This is my future, too. Or I thought it was."
For a long moment, they stood there in silence.
"Get out," Nolani said quietly.
Lonura froze. "Nolani, wait--"
"You're absolutely right. Obviously, I can't invest in you what you invest in me. Not while I am who I am."
"I didn't mean that--"
The princess looked up, cool and impersonal the way she was in formal audiences, save for just a hint of a watery shine to her eyes, and cut her off. "For both of us, for our mutual peace of mind, I think you should leave now, Lady Lonura. Before we say anything else we might regret."
"So that's it, then. After five years?" Some part of Lonura, buried deep, was already screaming at herself for starting this fight, but most of her--most of her was angry again, that Nolani could just...could just flip a switch, that fast, one moment loving her, the next moment leaving her, with no warning, as if she wasn't worth the respect and courtesy of at least being informed. Because she did know the politics, she did, she knew it wasn't really Nolani's choice, she just...
"You deserve better than I can give you," she said. "Just...go."
What was the point, anyway? Arguing wouldn't change it. Nolani was who she was and Lonura--
She understood the politics. She did. It hadn't mattered, before, when Nolani was still just a princess, second-in-line to the throne but with largely ceremonial duties. Before she'd taken a step onto the global political stage. It hadn't mattered until now. But Lonura didn't want to be a half-consort, a partial partner. She wasn't Nolani's father, content to stand aside and be forever a step behind her royal lover, just a passenger, along for the ride.
The princess was right. She deserved better.
"I'll go," she said quietly, and turned.
"Goodbye," she heard Nolani say, somewhere behind her, as she reached the door. It might have been Lonura's imagination, but she thought the princess's voice shook, just a hair.
She didn't turn back. She couldn't, or she might change her mind.
But she did stop a minute, take a breath, and say, "Goodbye, Princess."
Lonura stepped outside the room, closed the door behind her, and sank to the floor, crying without caring who saw.
She may have imagined it--she may have only wished it--but she thought she could hear Nolani, on the other side of the wall, doing the very same thing.
Story: Politics
'Verse: Feredar
Colors: Bistre #21. All I'm asking is that you stop treating me like I'm an actor miscast in your own personal tragedy through no fault of my own., Mystic Beach Blue #9. this one, Aqua #21. Feminine
Supplies and Materials: sculpture, reimaging (of section 4 of Habibati), frame, feathers, fabric, glitter,
Word Count: 1006
Rating: PG
Characters: Nolani, Lonura
Warnings: End of a relationship, arranged/political marriage.
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always. Last Mystic Beach Blue and Bistre. The feathers is a perception thing rather than a reality thing. These two do get back together a few years later, I promise, but this does still happen.
It all blew up in their faces the night Nolani returned from Asendar. It might have happened sooner, but there was a function, a formal announcement, and it was nearly midnight before they were back in the princess's rooms, alone for the first time in months.
Lonura started it. She would regret that later, that she'd been the one to start it.
"How could you do this?" she asked, quietly.
Nolani paused, one of her earrings half out of her ear. "What do you mean?"
"You know damn well what I mean." She was gripping the bedpost tight, trying to keep her hurt out of her voice as much as possible. "You could at least have warned me."
Nolani shook her head. "This isn't about you, Lony."
"How is it not about me?"
She turned, setting the earring down on the vanity. "Do you really think I could have said no? You weren't there, Lony, in that room. You're not the one whose marriage has to buy and hold world peace."
"You think that's why I'm upset?"
"It's not?"
Lonura stayed where she was, focusing on the pressure from the carvings on her hands. It kept her from crying, or screaming, or going over to hold her lover. She was angry, dammit, and even if Nolani had a point, she had to say her piece. "You gave me no warning. And you sent me a letter, from halfway across the world, telling me it was over--"
"That is not what I said," Nolani interrupted, crossing to the bed and laying a hand on Lonura's cheek. "Lony, believe me, please, I didn't mean it was over. I would never want that. My marriage doesn't have to come between us."
Lonura pulled away. "We've been together for nearly five years. I deserved some hint this might be possible, rather than being told after it was already settled."
"What else could I have done? By the time it was brought up, I had very little time to decide, and--"
It was her turn to interrupt. "I'm not a fool, 'Lani"
Nolani dropped her hand. "I never said you were."
"Then please stop treating me like one. I know damn well what's at stake here. You don't have to lecture me."
Nolani glared at her, folding her arms across her chest. "If you understand it so well, why are you blaming me for something that is not my fault?"
"It's not about blame!" she snapped. "You can't just--you can't just decide things, without treating me like I'm an equal partner in this relationship."
"You can't assume that every decision I make is about you!"
"You can't leave me to wonder if you're coming home to me, if you're coming home at all, if I mean as much to you as you do to me!"
The moment she said it, she wished she could take it back. Nolani's eyes shuttered and she looked away, her hair screening her face.
"'Lani, I--"
"Stop," she said. "Just...stop. Fine. You win. I wasn't fair. I have a life and responsibilities that have nothing to do with you, and I had to choose them instead, and you got hurt. I am sorry for that. But you knew who I am when we got involved, you had to have known this would happen someday."
"I thought you would at least...I thought you would at least tell me, before you signed yourself away. This is my future, too. Or I thought it was."
For a long moment, they stood there in silence.
"Get out," Nolani said quietly.
Lonura froze. "Nolani, wait--"
"You're absolutely right. Obviously, I can't invest in you what you invest in me. Not while I am who I am."
"I didn't mean that--"
The princess looked up, cool and impersonal the way she was in formal audiences, save for just a hint of a watery shine to her eyes, and cut her off. "For both of us, for our mutual peace of mind, I think you should leave now, Lady Lonura. Before we say anything else we might regret."
"So that's it, then. After five years?" Some part of Lonura, buried deep, was already screaming at herself for starting this fight, but most of her--most of her was angry again, that Nolani could just...could just flip a switch, that fast, one moment loving her, the next moment leaving her, with no warning, as if she wasn't worth the respect and courtesy of at least being informed. Because she did know the politics, she did, she knew it wasn't really Nolani's choice, she just...
"You deserve better than I can give you," she said. "Just...go."
What was the point, anyway? Arguing wouldn't change it. Nolani was who she was and Lonura--
She understood the politics. She did. It hadn't mattered, before, when Nolani was still just a princess, second-in-line to the throne but with largely ceremonial duties. Before she'd taken a step onto the global political stage. It hadn't mattered until now. But Lonura didn't want to be a half-consort, a partial partner. She wasn't Nolani's father, content to stand aside and be forever a step behind her royal lover, just a passenger, along for the ride.
The princess was right. She deserved better.
"I'll go," she said quietly, and turned.
"Goodbye," she heard Nolani say, somewhere behind her, as she reached the door. It might have been Lonura's imagination, but she thought the princess's voice shook, just a hair.
She didn't turn back. She couldn't, or she might change her mind.
But she did stop a minute, take a breath, and say, "Goodbye, Princess."
Lonura stepped outside the room, closed the door behind her, and sank to the floor, crying without caring who saw.
She may have imagined it--she may have only wished it--but she thought she could hear Nolani, on the other side of the wall, doing the very same thing.