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rainbowfic2012-10-14 12:03 pm
dark_kana) wrote in rainbowfic2012-10-14 12:03 pm
Cherry Blossom Pink 12 - True Blue 22 - Peach 14 - PbN - Feathers - Glitter - Acrylic - Bichromatic
Name: Kana
Title: Stubborn refusal
Story: Circle never ends
Characters: Freya, Nick
Colors: True Blue 22 Friends help you move, true friends help you move bodies - Cherry Blossom Pink 12 Monogatari - Peach 14 Try looking at it another way
Supplies and Styles: Paint by Numbers (from Subluxate : Why can’t you see it from my perspective?) – Feathers (your character can’t say goodbye) – Acrylic (I changed my mind) – Glitter ("We all have to decide for ourselves how much sin we can live with." – Nucky Thompson from Boardwalk Empire) - Bichromatic
Word count: 1190
Rating: PG
Summary: He refuses to believe she told him the complete truth. He refuses to believe this is what she really wants.
Notes: Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome
Continuation of Painful Decision (http://rainbowfic.dreamwidth.org/359911.html)
"Have you seen Freya?"
Ayame shakes her head. "No. Perhaps she's in her room. Otherwise I think you might have the best chance of finding her in the garden. She loves it there."
Smiling Nick nods his thanks before continuing his search. A couple of minutes later he does indeed find her in her room. Sitting on her futon, cross-legged, typing on her laptop, listening to her iPod.
He enters her room without knocking. She doesn’t mind - not when it's him - if she leaves the door open. At least, she didn't mind it in the past. He's not so sure about it now. Not after the talk they had yesterday evening.
She's so concentrated on writing that she doesn't hear him enter. Doesn't notice him standing behind her, reading over her shoulder. She likes to write. He knows she does. She always lets him read her drabbles. Most of the time it are short stories. But he loves them. And she loves writing them.
The words he read on the screen now are... different. Not as casual and carefree and happy as they used to be. It is a scene he recognizes. She changed their names, but he knows she is writing about her life.
For a second he wonders if he should turn and leave. But then she catches a glimpse of him on her screen.
Surprised she turns around- her eyes flashing - while she closes the laptop.
"What are you doing here?"
Freya stands up. "What the hell are you doing here? I told you, didn't I?"
Her hand against his chest, pushing him away. Not all too gently. "Get out Nick!"
Carefully he takes a hold of her wrist. Stopping her pushing him. "No. I'm not yet leaving. Not unless we talk again. Not until you explain..."
Freya glares at him. "I told you yesterday. There is nothing more to be said. Now let me go and leave me alone!"
Nick shakes his head. "No."
Her eyes widen and before he can react, she uses one of their techniques to free herself. Taking his wrist into a lock.
“I meant what I said yesterday Nick. And I have nothing more to add. Now get the hell out.”
She isn’t yelling anymore. Her voice seriously calm. It scares him more than the anger of just a couple of minutes ago.
Releasing his wrist, she once more pushes him away. The look on her face does not allow any contradiction. But he’s stubborn as well. And she knows it… So it does really surprise her when she sees him take a couple of steps back towards the door. Of course he notices the relieved look that – only for a second – crosses her face. It is all he needs to know. She’s hiding something.
Quickly he closes the shoji and sets himself down on the futon. He pats the place next to him – indicating for her to sit down as well. Sees her wide open eyes and the look of shock on her face.
“Come on Freya. I know you. Just as you know me. There is something else. You haven’t explained your reasons. You haven’t told me everything. Tell me why, tell me the truth, and if you still want me out of your life, I’ll accept that and I’ll leave you alone. But don’t lie to me and don’t shut me out.”
She shakes her head.
“You stubborn fool…”
It’s a soft muttering. One he nearly misses. But when he catches the words, he has to suppress a smile. That sounds more like the Freya he knows.
She surprises him by eventually setting herself down next to him. Not as close as she used to, but still. It’s a small victory already.
“Why can’t you just accept what I told you last night and move on with it. It’s not that I’m that special. It’s not that I mean that much.”
He takes a breath but she quickly goes on.
“No, don’t interrupt. Don’t answer. It were no real questions.”
A small smile when he nods. Grateful.
“So stubborn. So insisting and persisting. Why is that? Rhetorical question again.”
She shakes her head and takes a deep breath.
“There is nothing to explain. I’m having a cancer relapse. I know what is yet to come.”
Gently he places his fingers on her lips. “You don’t need to protect me Freya. And – without wanting to sound accusingly – you don’t have to make these kind of decisions for me.”
Freya turns her head away. “You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know what is going to happen still, what is going to happen to me.”
She tenses when she feels Nick wrap his arms around her.
“I know it’s hard Freya. I know it is going to be hard and difficult and… But you are not alone. You don’t have to push me away.”
He draws her closer to him when he feels her relax in his embrace.
“I’m here for you girl. You know I’ll be there for you. Whenever you need me. So… Please, don’t push me away for this. Not for this illness. I will not let you fall, I can handle it. I promise.”
Nick feels how she shakes her head. A careful movement against his chest.
“Don’t say that. Don’t promise that. You don’t know what it is. You don’t know what it is like. What it is going to be like. Sometimes you’ll wish you could strangle me. Sometimes you’ll wish you didn’t know me so you didn’t have to worry or bother with me crying or being angry or…”
She frees herself out of his embrace. Brushing away the tears that are rolling over her cheeks.
“And so you wanted to make it easier for me by taking the decision for me and pushing me away…”
Freya avoids his eyes. “It would have been easier…” A soft whisper. She’s not sure if she wants him to hear it.
“So you wouldn’t have to worry about me? About hurting me when you’re angry? So you wouldn’t worry I would push you away when you start to depend on me?”
He’s taking a risk. And he knows it.
Surprised she looks aside. Knowing she hears what he isn’t saying yet.
“What are you…?”
She can’t finish the sentence. Can’t finish it when she sees the look in his eyes.
“I lov…”
Shaking her head Freya puts her hands over her ears. “Don’t say it.”
It are words she has longed to hear. But right now, she fears them.
She whispers again. “Don’t say it…”
His hands carefully take a hold on hers.
“You know it’s true Freya. You know. And I know you feel the same. This might not be a good time. This might not be the perfect moment. With the cancer. But. Let me stay by your side. Please. Just let me stay by your side…”
She nods once, can’t find the strength in her anymore to push him away again. And despite everything, she relishes in the feeling of his arms around her and her body against his.
Title: Stubborn refusal
Story: Circle never ends
Characters: Freya, Nick
Colors: True Blue 22 Friends help you move, true friends help you move bodies - Cherry Blossom Pink 12 Monogatari - Peach 14 Try looking at it another way
Supplies and Styles: Paint by Numbers (from Subluxate : Why can’t you see it from my perspective?) – Feathers (your character can’t say goodbye) – Acrylic (I changed my mind) – Glitter ("We all have to decide for ourselves how much sin we can live with." – Nucky Thompson from Boardwalk Empire) - Bichromatic
Word count: 1190
Rating: PG
Summary: He refuses to believe she told him the complete truth. He refuses to believe this is what she really wants.
Notes: Constructive criticism is, as always, welcome
Continuation of Painful Decision (http://rainbowfic.dreamwidth.org/359911.html)
"Have you seen Freya?"
Ayame shakes her head. "No. Perhaps she's in her room. Otherwise I think you might have the best chance of finding her in the garden. She loves it there."
Smiling Nick nods his thanks before continuing his search. A couple of minutes later he does indeed find her in her room. Sitting on her futon, cross-legged, typing on her laptop, listening to her iPod.
He enters her room without knocking. She doesn’t mind - not when it's him - if she leaves the door open. At least, she didn't mind it in the past. He's not so sure about it now. Not after the talk they had yesterday evening.
She's so concentrated on writing that she doesn't hear him enter. Doesn't notice him standing behind her, reading over her shoulder. She likes to write. He knows she does. She always lets him read her drabbles. Most of the time it are short stories. But he loves them. And she loves writing them.
The words he read on the screen now are... different. Not as casual and carefree and happy as they used to be. It is a scene he recognizes. She changed their names, but he knows she is writing about her life.
For a second he wonders if he should turn and leave. But then she catches a glimpse of him on her screen.
Surprised she turns around- her eyes flashing - while she closes the laptop.
"What are you doing here?"
Freya stands up. "What the hell are you doing here? I told you, didn't I?"
Her hand against his chest, pushing him away. Not all too gently. "Get out Nick!"
Carefully he takes a hold of her wrist. Stopping her pushing him. "No. I'm not yet leaving. Not unless we talk again. Not until you explain..."
Freya glares at him. "I told you yesterday. There is nothing more to be said. Now let me go and leave me alone!"
Nick shakes his head. "No."
Her eyes widen and before he can react, she uses one of their techniques to free herself. Taking his wrist into a lock.
“I meant what I said yesterday Nick. And I have nothing more to add. Now get the hell out.”
She isn’t yelling anymore. Her voice seriously calm. It scares him more than the anger of just a couple of minutes ago.
Releasing his wrist, she once more pushes him away. The look on her face does not allow any contradiction. But he’s stubborn as well. And she knows it… So it does really surprise her when she sees him take a couple of steps back towards the door. Of course he notices the relieved look that – only for a second – crosses her face. It is all he needs to know. She’s hiding something.
Quickly he closes the shoji and sets himself down on the futon. He pats the place next to him – indicating for her to sit down as well. Sees her wide open eyes and the look of shock on her face.
“Come on Freya. I know you. Just as you know me. There is something else. You haven’t explained your reasons. You haven’t told me everything. Tell me why, tell me the truth, and if you still want me out of your life, I’ll accept that and I’ll leave you alone. But don’t lie to me and don’t shut me out.”
She shakes her head.
“You stubborn fool…”
It’s a soft muttering. One he nearly misses. But when he catches the words, he has to suppress a smile. That sounds more like the Freya he knows.
She surprises him by eventually setting herself down next to him. Not as close as she used to, but still. It’s a small victory already.
“Why can’t you just accept what I told you last night and move on with it. It’s not that I’m that special. It’s not that I mean that much.”
He takes a breath but she quickly goes on.
“No, don’t interrupt. Don’t answer. It were no real questions.”
A small smile when he nods. Grateful.
“So stubborn. So insisting and persisting. Why is that? Rhetorical question again.”
She shakes her head and takes a deep breath.
“There is nothing to explain. I’m having a cancer relapse. I know what is yet to come.”
Gently he places his fingers on her lips. “You don’t need to protect me Freya. And – without wanting to sound accusingly – you don’t have to make these kind of decisions for me.”
Freya turns her head away. “You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know what is going to happen still, what is going to happen to me.”
She tenses when she feels Nick wrap his arms around her.
“I know it’s hard Freya. I know it is going to be hard and difficult and… But you are not alone. You don’t have to push me away.”
He draws her closer to him when he feels her relax in his embrace.
“I’m here for you girl. You know I’ll be there for you. Whenever you need me. So… Please, don’t push me away for this. Not for this illness. I will not let you fall, I can handle it. I promise.”
Nick feels how she shakes her head. A careful movement against his chest.
“Don’t say that. Don’t promise that. You don’t know what it is. You don’t know what it is like. What it is going to be like. Sometimes you’ll wish you could strangle me. Sometimes you’ll wish you didn’t know me so you didn’t have to worry or bother with me crying or being angry or…”
She frees herself out of his embrace. Brushing away the tears that are rolling over her cheeks.
“And so you wanted to make it easier for me by taking the decision for me and pushing me away…”
Freya avoids his eyes. “It would have been easier…” A soft whisper. She’s not sure if she wants him to hear it.
“So you wouldn’t have to worry about me? About hurting me when you’re angry? So you wouldn’t worry I would push you away when you start to depend on me?”
He’s taking a risk. And he knows it.
Surprised she looks aside. Knowing she hears what he isn’t saying yet.
“What are you…?”
She can’t finish the sentence. Can’t finish it when she sees the look in his eyes.
“I lov…”
Shaking her head Freya puts her hands over her ears. “Don’t say it.”
It are words she has longed to hear. But right now, she fears them.
She whispers again. “Don’t say it…”
His hands carefully take a hold on hers.
“You know it’s true Freya. You know. And I know you feel the same. This might not be a good time. This might not be the perfect moment. With the cancer. But. Let me stay by your side. Please. Just let me stay by your side…”
She nods once, can’t find the strength in her anymore to push him away again. And despite everything, she relishes in the feeling of his arms around her and her body against his.
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Thank you! I was afraid her emotions wouldn't come across as real... So this comment really means a lot to me! :-)