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rainbowfic2012-04-01 12:14 pm
kay_brooke) wrote in rainbowfic2012-04-01 12:14 pm
Tea Rose #21, Tyrian Purple #21
Name: kay_brooke
Story: The Myrrosta
Colors: Tea Rose #21 (men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story), Tyrian Purple #21 (lifelong affair)
Styles/Supplies: Pastels fororigfic_bingo card prompt "growing old together"
Word Count: 1,698
Rating/Warnings: PG-13; no standard warnings apply
Summary: After twenty years, Edward has come back.
The world narrowed, until the ragged sound of Hopina's breath was all that was left. That, and the point of the dagger pinching the tender skin beneath her chin. The pressure wasn't enough yet to draw blood, but Hopina knew that it would only take a slight push for the blade to slide itself into her throat.
A light flared and Hopina closed her eyes against the sudden brightness.
She heard a gasp, and then the pressure at her throat was gone. Hopina managed to open her eyes, to focus on the blue ones swimming before her. She had been holding her breath the entire time without realizing, and as air flowed back into her lungs she went a little light-headed.
"Whoa," said the owner of the blue eyes. The shhck of a dagger going back into its scabbard was followed by the feel of arms around her. Arms and hands that she was familiar with.
"Edward," she whispered, burying her head into his shoulder. She felt overwhelmed and unable to comprehend more than a few parts of him at a time. She'd waited so long and she wasn't ready to see him as a whole. She had recognized his tent immediately. It was either the same one he had before, or one that looked just like it. She hadn't been expecting to be attacked when she entered, but she shouldn't have been surprised, either. It wasn't like he knew she was coming.
"Hopina?" he replied, and he pulled her away from him, too soon, and made her look at him.
He was older, his hair completely gray, the deep tan on his face unable to hide the lines that reached out from the edges of his eyes and etched their way toward his temples. He was an old man. But that didn't matter, because she was practically an old woman, and she had waited so long for this meeting.
"Yes," she said, almost sobbed, because she was so relieved. And then she said, "I didn't even know you were still alive."
"But you came looking for me."
"I heard some of the original delegation had come back," she said, staring at him. Now that she was able to see him as a whole again, she couldn't get enough. "I hoped you would be among them."
"Yes," he said, briefly closing his eyes. "I almost wasn't."
"What happened?" she asked, stroking his arm. "Were you hurt?"
"No, nothing like that," he said. "I didn't hear about the ship leaving until it had almost already left. I was in a city far from the coast and about to head even farther west. I had to decide what to do, and I almost decided not to bother."
"Why wouldn't you come back?" she asked. She shook her head. "No, never mind." It didn't matter, because he had come back anyway. He had made the right decision. She had waited so long for him, and he had finally come back for her.
"I'm only here for a few days," said Edward, pulling away from her and leaving her grasping the air as if he was nothing more than a dream. "I'm taking the next ship back."
Hopina nodded. "It's short notice, but I should be able to prepare before then."
"What are you talking about?" asked Edward.
"I'm going with you, of course," stuttered Hopina. "What else would I be talking about?" Why else would you come back and leave immediately again if it wasn't to take me with you?
Edward shook his head. "You're not going with me, Hopina. Maston isn't a good place for a woman like you."
"A woman like me?" said Hopina, anger flushing her face. "I wouldn't have thought you would think women--that you would think a woman like me--too weak for a trip across the ocean."
"No, Hopina, no," said Edward, reaching out and holding her arms down to her side, so that she couldn't flail them anymore. "Nothing like that. And I know you're not weak, believe me. But anyone in your condition--"
"What condition am I supposed to have?" Hopina snapped.
Edward looked at her sadly. "I heard about Atro."
She twisted away from him. "Don't talk about him."
"I just want to say that I'm sorry."
"I said don't talk about him!" she cried. "He's dead. There's nothing to be sorry for. I was married to him but I didn't love him. Not like that."
"But surely you miss him?" said Edward, screwing his face up in puzzlement.
Hopina scoffed. "I'm not heartless. But everyone expects me to be fragile, to break down at any moment, to, I don't know, admit that I can't live without him. It's not true. I'm more than Atro's wife."
"I know, I know," said Edward soothingly. "But grief is a funny thing. Sometimes a body doesn't even know it's going through it. Sometimes it doesn't break down in tears. Sometimes it does rash things to try and escape the pain . . . like up and moving to a land across the sea."
"You think I want to do this because I'm not in my right mind?" said Hopina, outraged that Edward could say such a thing, or that Edward would be that clueless. "This has nothing to do with Atro. This has to do with us!"
"Us?" said Edward, like he didn't already know, the bastard.
"Yes!" she said, wanting to hit him more than anything but forcing herself to keep her arms by her size. She was over forty years old and decorum was her entire life. "I tried to go with you before, or are you too old to remember that?"
Edward sighed. "I remember. It was a bad idea then, too."
"Because of Atro," she hissed. "But he's dead. His children are in charge. My daughter is the lady of the palace until he marries. I'm nothing now but a widow. I might as well be dead, as far as anyone here is concerned. I'm a free woman."
"That's not true," said Edward.
"You don't know! You've been gone for twenty years!"
"You have a life here."
"I want a life with you!"
There. She had said it. Finally, twenty years after the last time the words had struggled against her tongue and she was too much a coward to say them, she had said what she always wanted.
Edward, to his credit, didn't look taken aback. But he did look sorrowful.
"All this time?" he said. "You should have forgotten about me, Hopina. We were never meant to be."
"What harm can there be in it now?" she said. "My father is dead, my husband is dead, I'm no longer a young woman. There is nothing to keep me from my desires, not even myself." Then a terrible thought occurred to her. "You're . . . you're married. You met someone in Maston."
"No," said Edward immediately. "I've never been married. There is no one in Maston."
"Then how can you have qualms about this?" asked Hopina. "What obstacles are there?"
Edward looked down at the ground, as if he was suddenly unable to look her in the eye. "I just don't believe this is what you really want."
"It's what I've wanted my whole life. Adventure. With you."
"Hopina," he said, and stopped.
But she had heard everything he wanted to say in that one word. "You don't feel that way for me," she whispered.
Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's been twenty years," he said.
"You're over me."
"That's how I am."
"That's how you've always thought you had to be," said Hopina, trying to reclaim her dignity. "Why can't you see that now it doesn't matter?"
"Because I'm old doesn't mean that I can change the way I've been my whole life." He looked at her pleadingly. "I don't have that many years left and I'm at peace with that. But there are still things I want to see. I haven't been all across Maston yet. That's why I'm going back."
"And you want to live the remainder of your life without anyone holding you back," said Hopina bitterly.
"I want to live the remainder of my life the way I've always lived it," replied Edward, no hint of apology in his voice.
Now it was Hopina who couldn't look him in the eye. Had it always been like this? Yes, she realized, it had, because she felt just as much a foolish little girl now as she had back then. When she was young she had thought it was confusion about her role in life, that it was her guilt for going against her father's wishes, that it was her nervousness at the thought of living a life vastly different from the one she had always lived. But now she realized, with a sudden clarity that she couldn't believe hadn't happened long before, that those feelings had always been caused by her denial that her feelings for Edward were stronger than the feelings he had for her.
"But," she said, not sure what was the right thing but having to say something anyway, "there was a time when you would have been with me."
Edward remained silent.
"Tell me the truth," she said. "We're both too old for those kinds of secrets."
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "Yes, there was a time."
"But not now?"
He looked at her. "You're still a beautiful woman."
"Well?" She moved closer to him.
He shook his head. "You can't come with me."
She regarded him, her head raised high. She wasn't a foolish girl. She was a grown woman and she had made a whole life out of making do with what she had. "I know. I'm asking for something else now."
They stared at each other for what seemed like years, the flickering light of Edward's torch throwing his facial features into stark relief, shadows lurking around the edge of his nose. Finally, he nodded.
"Yes," he said, and he extinguished the torch.
After that, their breathing was the only sound in the tent.
kay_brookeStory: The Myrrosta
Colors: Tea Rose #21 (men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story), Tyrian Purple #21 (lifelong affair)
Styles/Supplies: Pastels for
origfic_bingo card prompt "growing old together"Word Count: 1,698
Rating/Warnings: PG-13; no standard warnings apply
Summary: After twenty years, Edward has come back.
The world narrowed, until the ragged sound of Hopina's breath was all that was left. That, and the point of the dagger pinching the tender skin beneath her chin. The pressure wasn't enough yet to draw blood, but Hopina knew that it would only take a slight push for the blade to slide itself into her throat.
A light flared and Hopina closed her eyes against the sudden brightness.
She heard a gasp, and then the pressure at her throat was gone. Hopina managed to open her eyes, to focus on the blue ones swimming before her. She had been holding her breath the entire time without realizing, and as air flowed back into her lungs she went a little light-headed.
"Whoa," said the owner of the blue eyes. The shhck of a dagger going back into its scabbard was followed by the feel of arms around her. Arms and hands that she was familiar with.
"Edward," she whispered, burying her head into his shoulder. She felt overwhelmed and unable to comprehend more than a few parts of him at a time. She'd waited so long and she wasn't ready to see him as a whole. She had recognized his tent immediately. It was either the same one he had before, or one that looked just like it. She hadn't been expecting to be attacked when she entered, but she shouldn't have been surprised, either. It wasn't like he knew she was coming.
"Hopina?" he replied, and he pulled her away from him, too soon, and made her look at him.
He was older, his hair completely gray, the deep tan on his face unable to hide the lines that reached out from the edges of his eyes and etched their way toward his temples. He was an old man. But that didn't matter, because she was practically an old woman, and she had waited so long for this meeting.
"Yes," she said, almost sobbed, because she was so relieved. And then she said, "I didn't even know you were still alive."
"But you came looking for me."
"I heard some of the original delegation had come back," she said, staring at him. Now that she was able to see him as a whole again, she couldn't get enough. "I hoped you would be among them."
"Yes," he said, briefly closing his eyes. "I almost wasn't."
"What happened?" she asked, stroking his arm. "Were you hurt?"
"No, nothing like that," he said. "I didn't hear about the ship leaving until it had almost already left. I was in a city far from the coast and about to head even farther west. I had to decide what to do, and I almost decided not to bother."
"Why wouldn't you come back?" she asked. She shook her head. "No, never mind." It didn't matter, because he had come back anyway. He had made the right decision. She had waited so long for him, and he had finally come back for her.
"I'm only here for a few days," said Edward, pulling away from her and leaving her grasping the air as if he was nothing more than a dream. "I'm taking the next ship back."
Hopina nodded. "It's short notice, but I should be able to prepare before then."
"What are you talking about?" asked Edward.
"I'm going with you, of course," stuttered Hopina. "What else would I be talking about?" Why else would you come back and leave immediately again if it wasn't to take me with you?
Edward shook his head. "You're not going with me, Hopina. Maston isn't a good place for a woman like you."
"A woman like me?" said Hopina, anger flushing her face. "I wouldn't have thought you would think women--that you would think a woman like me--too weak for a trip across the ocean."
"No, Hopina, no," said Edward, reaching out and holding her arms down to her side, so that she couldn't flail them anymore. "Nothing like that. And I know you're not weak, believe me. But anyone in your condition--"
"What condition am I supposed to have?" Hopina snapped.
Edward looked at her sadly. "I heard about Atro."
She twisted away from him. "Don't talk about him."
"I just want to say that I'm sorry."
"I said don't talk about him!" she cried. "He's dead. There's nothing to be sorry for. I was married to him but I didn't love him. Not like that."
"But surely you miss him?" said Edward, screwing his face up in puzzlement.
Hopina scoffed. "I'm not heartless. But everyone expects me to be fragile, to break down at any moment, to, I don't know, admit that I can't live without him. It's not true. I'm more than Atro's wife."
"I know, I know," said Edward soothingly. "But grief is a funny thing. Sometimes a body doesn't even know it's going through it. Sometimes it doesn't break down in tears. Sometimes it does rash things to try and escape the pain . . . like up and moving to a land across the sea."
"You think I want to do this because I'm not in my right mind?" said Hopina, outraged that Edward could say such a thing, or that Edward would be that clueless. "This has nothing to do with Atro. This has to do with us!"
"Us?" said Edward, like he didn't already know, the bastard.
"Yes!" she said, wanting to hit him more than anything but forcing herself to keep her arms by her size. She was over forty years old and decorum was her entire life. "I tried to go with you before, or are you too old to remember that?"
Edward sighed. "I remember. It was a bad idea then, too."
"Because of Atro," she hissed. "But he's dead. His children are in charge. My daughter is the lady of the palace until he marries. I'm nothing now but a widow. I might as well be dead, as far as anyone here is concerned. I'm a free woman."
"That's not true," said Edward.
"You don't know! You've been gone for twenty years!"
"You have a life here."
"I want a life with you!"
There. She had said it. Finally, twenty years after the last time the words had struggled against her tongue and she was too much a coward to say them, she had said what she always wanted.
Edward, to his credit, didn't look taken aback. But he did look sorrowful.
"All this time?" he said. "You should have forgotten about me, Hopina. We were never meant to be."
"What harm can there be in it now?" she said. "My father is dead, my husband is dead, I'm no longer a young woman. There is nothing to keep me from my desires, not even myself." Then a terrible thought occurred to her. "You're . . . you're married. You met someone in Maston."
"No," said Edward immediately. "I've never been married. There is no one in Maston."
"Then how can you have qualms about this?" asked Hopina. "What obstacles are there?"
Edward looked down at the ground, as if he was suddenly unable to look her in the eye. "I just don't believe this is what you really want."
"It's what I've wanted my whole life. Adventure. With you."
"Hopina," he said, and stopped.
But she had heard everything he wanted to say in that one word. "You don't feel that way for me," she whispered.
Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's been twenty years," he said.
"You're over me."
"That's how I am."
"That's how you've always thought you had to be," said Hopina, trying to reclaim her dignity. "Why can't you see that now it doesn't matter?"
"Because I'm old doesn't mean that I can change the way I've been my whole life." He looked at her pleadingly. "I don't have that many years left and I'm at peace with that. But there are still things I want to see. I haven't been all across Maston yet. That's why I'm going back."
"And you want to live the remainder of your life without anyone holding you back," said Hopina bitterly.
"I want to live the remainder of my life the way I've always lived it," replied Edward, no hint of apology in his voice.
Now it was Hopina who couldn't look him in the eye. Had it always been like this? Yes, she realized, it had, because she felt just as much a foolish little girl now as she had back then. When she was young she had thought it was confusion about her role in life, that it was her guilt for going against her father's wishes, that it was her nervousness at the thought of living a life vastly different from the one she had always lived. But now she realized, with a sudden clarity that she couldn't believe hadn't happened long before, that those feelings had always been caused by her denial that her feelings for Edward were stronger than the feelings he had for her.
"But," she said, not sure what was the right thing but having to say something anyway, "there was a time when you would have been with me."
Edward remained silent.
"Tell me the truth," she said. "We're both too old for those kinds of secrets."
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "Yes, there was a time."
"But not now?"
He looked at her. "You're still a beautiful woman."
"Well?" She moved closer to him.
He shook his head. "You can't come with me."
She regarded him, her head raised high. She wasn't a foolish girl. She was a grown woman and she had made a whole life out of making do with what she had. "I know. I'm asking for something else now."
They stared at each other for what seemed like years, the flickering light of Edward's torch throwing his facial features into stark relief, shadows lurking around the edge of his nose. Finally, he nodded.
"Yes," he said, and he extinguished the torch.
After that, their breathing was the only sound in the tent.
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